Submit your FML story

  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick :
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Thursday 20 December 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I ate brunch at my in-laws. The food all tasted off to me so I didn't eat much, telling my mother-in-law I was watching my weight. Later on, while out doing a bit of shopping, I stopped at a red light. Guess who pulled up next to me while I was scarfing a fast food burger. FML

#20405883
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15818) - you deserved it (17826)

On 12/18/2012 at 5:02pm - misc - by drkate25 - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my co-worker had a bad cold that stuffed up his ears and nose. This wouldn't have been a problem, except that he believed his farts were silent and scentless. They were so vile, they could have killed a horse. FML

#20413058
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27008) - you deserved it (2049)

On 12/22/2012 at 3:06am - work - by Iknoweverything (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I was wrapping presents for my daughter, trying to be really quiet. Behind me, the cat decided to climb the tree, which then fell on top of me and I couldn't move. My daughter had to help me up. She now knows everything she's getting for Christmas this year. FML

#20417111
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22327) - you deserved it (2824)

On 12/23/2012 at 8:03pm - animals - by Christmas sucks - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, whilst at my new step-dad's Christmas lunch, my mother spiked my drink so that I would look worse than her in front of her new mother-in-law. FML

#20418159
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24803) - you deserved it (1612)

On 12/24/2012 at 5:09am - misc - by heya - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I caught my dog chewing on a tampon applicator. I tried to grab it from him, but he wanted to play "keep away" and ran outside. Like a dumbass, I chased after him in my underwear, earning myself the attention of my neighbors on each side of my driveway. FML

#20408937
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8317) - you deserved it (20028)

On 12/20/2012 at 1:17pm - misc - by ScoozieBooze (woman) - United States (New Mexico)

Today, at a post-Christmas party, I saw a cute girl standing underneath a mistletoe. I walked up to her and pointed out that we were both standing under a mistletoe. She looked at me, winced, and quickly walked away. FML

#20424412
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13291) - you deserved it (13926)

On 12/26/2012 at 9:09pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Georgia)

Today, my ex-boyfriend of over 4 years decided to turn up outside my house at 1am, drunk off his ass, to confess his love for me. When I told him I'd moved on and am happily engaged, he cried on the grass for an hour, then tried to steal my cat. FML

#20423470
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32909) - you deserved it (2857)

On 12/26/2012 at 12:18pm - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I decided to cover a coworker's closing shift because she felt sick. My boss even gave me a $10 gift card for doing it. I felt good about it, until I walked outside and found that my car had been stolen. FML

#20425281
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26675) - you deserved it (1322)

On 12/27/2012 at 3:52am - work - by Ross R - United States (Washington)

Today, I was woken up by my dog scratching at my door. After a while of this, I finally got up to let her in. When I opened the door, she looked at me, threw up, and scurried away. FML

#20409045
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19262) - you deserved it (8566)

On 12/20/2012 at 2:50pm - animals - by Anonymous (man) - Spain (Canarias)

Today, due to bad weather, my dad let me take his car to drive to my apartment 3 hours away. I only realized when I got there that my keys were still sitting on my parents' kitchen counter. FML

#20412922
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20537) - you deserved it (7401)

On 12/22/2012 at 1:31am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) -

Today, I noticed my wife put a bumper sticker on our car that says "Cowboy butts drive me nuts." I've driven that car to work every day. FML

#20405855
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21568) - you deserved it (2742)

On 12/18/2012 at 4:44pm - misc - by idontevenlikebuttsthatmuch - United States (Arizona)

Today, I unwrapped my present and, to my surprise, I had gotten a repair manual for my truck. Apparently, my parents are "Tired of seeing that piece of shit in front of our house." FML

#20423026
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9758) - you deserved it (13312)

On 12/26/2012 at 3:30am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my trunk froze shut with my Christmas presents inside. Since it was still shut, I went to the store. When I came out, some ice had melted and the trunk had popped open. All of my gifts were gone. FML

#20426934
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28080) - you deserved it (3986)

On 12/27/2012 at 10:49pm - misc - by wheresmysweater - United States (North Carolina)



Allison Myres Perry & Jim Perry 's illustrated FML

Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • FML’s Roommates from hell
  • If we could, we’d probably all live on our own. Exotic dancers would do our cleaning and housework; bartenders would serve us glamorous cocktails with mini paper umbrellas in them every hour on the dot. We would…

Monday 20 May 2013

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: