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Sunday 16 December 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, the highly intoxicated singer of my band decided it would be a wonderful idea to squat down and take a shit on stage in the middle of a gig. FML

#20408486
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37075) - you deserved it (4271)

On 12/20/2012 at 3:16am - misc - by dudeyouarefired -

Today, I looked at my neighbor's empty lawn; he's an old guy and he usually has the best Christmas lights. We knew he might not be able to do them this year, so I felt bad and I did them for him. Later, a neighbor asked about them and I told her that I helped out. She said, "You do know he died, right?" FML

#20411217
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32884) - you deserved it (17217)

On 12/21/2012 at 11:00am - misc - by Syd - United States (Texas)

Today, my friend was complaining to me about her problems. I tried to be a good, understanding friend, listening and giving advice. When it was my turn to vent, she interrupted me, saying, "Sorry, but I don't really care." FML

#20201674
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27930) - you deserved it (2209)

On 12/12/2012 at 7:44am - misc - by sushichick (woman) - United States

Today, on the way out to buy groceries, my boyfriend asked if I'd like him to buy some of my favourite flowers. Happy with his rare show of affection, I said yes. When he returned, he gave me a bag of our usual brand of flour and laughed hysterically in my face. FML

#20401145
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25689) - you deserved it (3917)

On 12/15/2012 at 7:06pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I had plans for a romantic night with my boyfriend, who is perfect in every way possible. We were going to have sex for the first time as well. Unfortunately, I had a dream last night about him shitting all over me and I can't look at him with a straight face. FML

#20403258
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35291) - you deserved it (13812)

On 12/17/2012 at 3:17am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I told my husband to tell me his wildest fantasy. He told me it was to put on fake antlers and "do it like deer". FML

#20415339
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36413) - you deserved it (7765)

On 12/23/2012 at 1:19am - intimacy - by Kasey Eames - United States (California)

Today, my fiancé called off our engagement after I contested his belief that women stop having periods after they are married. FML

#20404199
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33695) - you deserved it (3821)

On 12/17/2012 at 7:29pm - love - by kidyounot (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my roommate pressed "snooze" on his alarm 14 times. I counted. FML

#20200321
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21136) - you deserved it (2182)

On 12/11/2012 at 10:57am - misc - by roommateprobssss:( - United States

Today, I ran into my infant daughter's room because I thought I heard her crying, and found she was still sound asleep in her crib. The screams were coming from the mouse our cat was using to paint her bedroom walls. FML

#20400604
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26524) - you deserved it (2016)

On 12/15/2012 at 10:55am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my dad forced the whole family to sit through a two-hour lecture, with supporting research, on how the "Mayan prophecy" is actually a load of shit fabricated by conmen. Nice to know he thinks we're all borderline brain-dead, gullible fuckwits who believed it to begin with. Thanks, dad. FML

#20400784
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20127) - you deserved it (4250)

On 12/15/2012 at 1:43pm - misc - by oh gee, you don't say (woman) - United Kingdom (Southampton)

Today, my friend and I decided to go skinny-dipping in her pool just after we'd finished watching a scary movie. While we were in the pool, I heard something move in the bushes so I freaked out and ran onto the deck, slipping and falling flat on my back. Her dad saw the whole thing. FML

#20407433
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13069) - you deserved it (32780)

On 12/19/2012 at 12:19pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I'm insanely hungover from a long night of drinking. I'm going to my nephew's baptism in an hour as his godmother. FML

#20402048
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6825) - you deserved it (49733)

On 12/16/2012 at 12:26pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I told my boyfriend that I'm pregnant. He seemed excited, and said we should make the baby fat so he can bounce her on his lap and watch her double chin jiggle. Just to prove he's serious, he's been searching for high-calorie foods for babies. FML

#20405554
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36352) - you deserved it (5776)

On 12/18/2012 at 12:33pm - kids - by fatbabysyndrome (woman) - United States (Florida)



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