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Sunday 16 December 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, after sharing my first night in bed with my boyfriend, I woke up early, and decided to rouse him with some surprise oral. It didn't go so well; he woke up screaming and gasped, "OH MY GOD! I thought you were my cat!" before telling me to continue. FML

#20412240
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32469) - you deserved it (5455)

On 12/21/2012 at 8:16pm - intimacy - by anonymaiacciu (woman) - France

Today, it was my first time at the club. I saw a really cute girl. I finally worked up the courage to ask her to dance. Before I even got within five feet of her, she looked me in the eyes and vehemently shook her head. I did a 180. My friends saw everything. They are still laughing. FML

#20413213
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32927) - you deserved it (3862)

On 12/22/2012 at 6:21am - misc - by divingconfidence (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my neighbor installed a large radio that loudly plays Christmas music 24/7. When I called in a complaint to the police department they told me to, "get in the Christmas spirit." FML

#20404496
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24549) - you deserved it (7981)

On 12/17/2012 at 9:28pm - misc - by James (man) - United States

Today, I decided to treat myself to a pedicure. The pedicurist began examining my feet, then called his coworkers over to demonstrate how to deal with "excessively crusty" feet. FML

#20407705
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18996) - you deserved it (15650)

On 12/19/2012 at 3:53pm - health - by Crusty -

Today, I received my soccer team jacket that I ordered a month ago. Trying to save money, I'd selected the "no name" option to avoid an extra $20 embroidering fee. My jacket now has "NO NAME" spelled out on the side of it, and I was charged the extra $20 dollars after all. FML

#20415162
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36013) - you deserved it (6802)

On 12/23/2012 at 12:01am - money - by Anonymous (man) - Canada

Today, my husband told my mother-in-law that we're trying to have a baby. She decided to call me and explain in extreme detail what positions to try, and when. FML

#20403715
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37632) - you deserved it (4235)

On 12/17/2012 at 1:48pm - intimacy - by crazy mother in law (woman) -

Today, I had the pleasure of finding out how it feels to poop with 3 broken ribs. FML

#20398877
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23488) - you deserved it (1514)

On 12/14/2012 at 1:44am - health - by mysidesaresplitting - United States (Michigan)

Today, I baked some regular brownies for my friend. Just to mess with him, after he ate some, I said they had weed in them. He trashed my room in anger, and still won't believe me when I tell him that I didn't actually slip him any drugs. FML

#20411716
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8390) - you deserved it (26281)

On 12/21/2012 at 3:48pm - misc - by mateyouremental - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, a lady on the bus came up to me and asked if she could sit down. Thinking she meant the seat next to me, I said sure. She meant my lap. FML

#20198778
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18874) - you deserved it (1603)

On 12/10/2012 at 5:13am - misc - by LLCK - United States (Minnesota)

Today, someone painted the "Dark Mark" on the side of my car. It won't come off and my kids refuse to get in because it means "a wizard died in there." FML

#20407286
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28217) - you deserved it (3186)

On 12/19/2012 at 9:59am - kids - by spellbound - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I met my girlfriend's father for the first time; he asked me to explain my interest in dating her. In a mix of me trying to say "I want to be with your daughter" and "I want to be in your daughter's life" I got confused and said, "I want to be in your daughter." FML

#20198676
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29593) - you deserved it (5899)

On 12/10/2012 at 2:21am - love - by Tonguetied0496 (man) - United States (California)

Today, my daughter wore my favorite Christmas sweater to an ugly sweater party. FML

#20201801
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18725) - you deserved it (8395)

On 12/12/2012 at 11:05am - kids - by Saduglydad - United States (Texas)

Today, while doing our Christmas shopping, my sister showed me a product that she really hated. The same one I bought her for Christmas. FML

#20403689
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22127) - you deserved it (2867)

On 12/17/2012 at 1:16pm - money - by bob (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)



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