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Sunday 16 December 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, as my 12 hour shift was about to finish, a young boy came in wanting to buy a $200 gaming device. His mom said he was purchasing it with his own money, which I found admirable. That is, until he took his piggy bank out of his backpack. FML

#20398760
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18150) - you deserved it (1258)

On 12/14/2012 at 12:10am - kids - by Ethan_18 - United States

Today, a friend informed me that my dog's name means "penis" in Greek. I live in a predominantly Greek neighbourhood, and apparently I've been screaming for "dong" every evening for the past 3 years. No wonder they don't talk to me much. FML

#20405418
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25195) - you deserved it (7593)

On 12/18/2012 at 10:30am - misc - by Dog_Lover (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I avoided having to wash the dishes by faking a cold. My sucker of a wife believed me and hopped off my balls about it. Later on, after I made a miraculous recovery, she told me to take out the trash. It's freezing outside and raining, and I feel a very real cold coming on. FML

#20399412
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (3782) - you deserved it (49489)

On 12/14/2012 at 2:19pm - misc - by fuckmyassimcold (man) - United States

Today, I woke up to find my best friend lying down and unresponsive. Frightened, I tapped on the glass. He got scared and started swimming again. My best friend is a fish. FML

#20199342
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19357) - you deserved it (4300)

On 12/10/2012 at 5:40pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - Sweden (Vastmanlands Lan)

Today, I saw a man in an army uniform. As a bit of a patriot, I went up to thank him for his service. After about 10 minutes of me going on and on, he started laughing. He wasn't a soldier. FML

#20405129
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12095) - you deserved it (17436)

On 12/18/2012 at 2:48am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my boyfriend got done with Marine combat training. The first thing he asked for weren't pictures of me but pictures of his car. Missed you too babe. FML

#20198694
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15773) - you deserved it (1911)

On 12/10/2012 at 2:47am - love - by chels (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was hit in the head by a golf ball. I wasn't near a golf course, and nobody was anywhere in sight. I'm still trying to figure out what happened. FML

#20403784
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30035) - you deserved it (2687)

On 12/17/2012 at 2:38pm - health - by wtf - United States

Today, I was getting intimate with my boyfriend, when he suddenly grabbed my front. He said, in a sexy voice, "Is that your boob?". He had grabbed a fat roll. FML

Today, I realized that sex with my husband has gotten so boring that I'd rather fake an orgasm than let him continue. FML

#20199068
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20388) - you deserved it (7641)

On 12/10/2012 at 1:37pm - intimacy - by hnickell93 - United States (California)

Today, in class, I reached into my bag to pull out a tampon, which I hid under my sleeve so I could make a quick escape to the restroom. My teacher yelled at me, because she thought I'd taken out my phone. I then had to prove myself by showing the tampon to the whole class. FML

#20398872
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25384) - you deserved it (1736)

On 12/14/2012 at 1:40am - health - by bloodyfreakinawful - United States (Texas)

Today, in history class, we were talking about Ancient Rome, and what childbirth would have been like back then. One girl asked in all seriousness why they didn't use ultrasound machines to see what sex their babies were. I have to deal with people like this on a daily basis. FML

#20398310
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20494) - you deserved it (1096)

On 12/13/2012 at 6:44pm - misc - by surrounded by dumbfucks (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, after my girlfriend has recently become obsessed with the serial-killer show, Dexter, she has grown an interest in cutting up pomegranates in many different ways and squirting the red, blood-like juice everywhere. I am now afraid to argue with her. FML

#20400460
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20838) - you deserved it (2458)

On 12/15/2012 at 7:33am - love - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I had been trying to text my girlfriend all day, but no reply. After a while, I became worried so I called. She picked up and said, "Can't talk, busy." Not even a minute later, my best friend says to me, "Dude, tell your girlfriend to leave me alone. She's been texting me all day." FML

#20407951
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34408) - you deserved it (1899)

On 12/19/2012 at 6:31pm - misc - by SugarMyBalls (man) - United States (Georgia)



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