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Thursday 13 December 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, it's been 13 months since I've been living in the States. I've been called a Nazi, asked if we have electricity in Germany, and been made fun of the way I speak with my "German accent", the list goes on. I'm not even German, I'm Danish. FML

#20201491
414 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41964) - you deserved it (2584)

On 12/12/2012 at 1:45am - kids - by LearnGeographyUSA (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, one of the girls who has made it her job to ruin my life cornered me in the hallway at school. She tried to insult me, and for the first time in my life I had a scathing comeback. My elation quickly ended when she violently shoved my face into the water fountain. FML

Today, my girlfriend felt bad about a rude comment she made to me, and asked me to insult her in return. I told her she was getting fat. Wrong move; now she's not speaking to me. FML

#20199046
209 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11423) - you deserved it (38546)

On 12/10/2012 at 1:09pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my very cheap boyfriend of four years proposed. I was overwhelmed with emotion, since he bought such a huge, seemingly-diamond ring. I was later overwhelmed with emotion when my finger turned green. FML

#20201870
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29659) - you deserved it (4133)

On 12/12/2012 at 12:51pm - love - by dino0123 - United States (Virginia)

Today, I hid my weed stash in a bag from an expensive jewellery store. My sister walked into my room, went "Ooh, what's this?" and grabbed the bag. I grabbed it back and ad-libbed that it was her Christmas gift. Now I actually have to buy her expensive jewellery. FML

#20405613
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12071) - you deserved it (61072)

On 12/18/2012 at 1:28pm - misc - by junkie (woman) - Belgium (Antwerpen)

Today, I stepped on the scale and realized that I weigh more than the amount of money that I have in my bank account. FML

#20199403
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27755) - you deserved it (7656)

On 12/10/2012 at 6:32pm - money - by ihncredible - United States (Michigan)

Today, the guy I'm dating found out I have severe arachnophobia. He downloaded a picture of a huge, hairy spider and set it as background on my iPhone. I can't even unlock my phone, as every time I try, the spider pops up and I drop the phone. He laughs every time I do it. FML

#20200411
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28649) - you deserved it (5797)

On 12/11/2012 at 1:09pm - love - by skinnybitch (woman) - Denmark (Hovedstaden)

Today, my son got suspended from school. He's in kindergarten. FML

#20201910
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27219) - you deserved it (6728)

On 12/12/2012 at 1:32pm - kids - by Renzy (woman) -

Today, while at the airport waiting for my flight, I sat down next to a mother and her son. As I pulled out a water bottle, she leaned over to her son and said, "Promise me you will never do what the man next to you just did." I have no idea what the hell I did wrong. FML

Today, on the bus, when I was asking my 6-year-old son what he wanted for Christmas, a stranger came up to us and yelled at him about how Santa Claus is not real, that his "parents are fucking liars" and that he should "never listen to anything one of those fuckers says." FML

#20200046
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30298) - you deserved it (2908)

On 12/11/2012 at 2:15am - kids - by n1a1t1h1a1n1 (man) - United States (California)

Today, some beefed-up guy wearing a wife-beater sat in my restaurant, took out a big sack of coins, and played My Little Pony songs on the jukebox for 4 hours straight. I couldn't summon the courage to tell him to leave. FML

#20401192
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25605) - you deserved it (5645)

On 12/15/2012 at 7:57pm - work - by lingling (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, at a Christmas party, my crush came up to me and cutely pointed out that I was standing under mistletoe. The only response my stupid brain could think of was, "Probably full of nargles though." He gave me a confused look and walked away. FML

#20402533
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27444) - you deserved it (12944)

On 12/16/2012 at 6:51pm - love - by Rhine (woman) - Barbados (Saint Michael)



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