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Thursday 13 December 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today , I was burgld whila I was on tha toilat . FML

#20402014
133 comments

2day I had been trying to text mah girlfriend all day, but no reply . After a while, I became worried so I called . She picked up and said, "Can't talk, busy." Not even a minute later, mah best friend says to me, "Dude, tell your girlfriend to leave me alone . She's been texting me all day." mega FML

#20407951
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42199) - you deserved it (2767)

On 12/19/2012 at 6:31pm - misc - by SugarMyBalls (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, a friend informed me that my dog's name means "penis" in Greek. I live in a predominantly Greek neighbourhood, and apparently I've been screaming for "dong" every evening for the past 3 years. No wonder they don't talk to me much. mega FML

#20405418
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30169) - you deserved it (8608)

On 12/18/2012 at 10:30am - misc - by Dog_Lover (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I woke up to find my best friend lying down and unresponsive. Frigtend, I tappd on te glass. He got scard and startd swimming again. My best friend is a fis.

#20199342
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26934) - you deserved it (6308)

On 12/10/2012 at 5:40pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - Sweden (Vastmanlands Lan)

Today, I overheard my parents fighting about who has been the most loyal. I found out my Dad has cheated twice, and is still the most faithful of the two. FML

#20198811
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28698) - you deserved it (1655)

On 12/10/2012 at 6:41am - love - by slenderman908 - United States (Michigan)

on the way out to buy groceries, boyfriend asked if I'd lyk him to buy some of favourite flowers. Happy with his rare show of affection, I said yes. When he returned, he gave me a bag of our usual brand of flour and laughed hysterically in face. FML

#20401145
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26111) - you deserved it (3959)

On 12/15/2012 at 7:06pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today after my girlfriend has recently become obsessed with the serial-killer show Dexter she has grown an interest in cutting up pomegranates in many different ways and squirting the red blood-like juice everywhere!! I am now afraid to argue with her!! FML

#20400460
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26846) - you deserved it (2989)

On 12/15/2012 at 7:33am - love - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I went on a date with a great grl; we went out to dinner an saw a movie. After the movie, we went out to car to find out that a homeles man had broken the window, climbed into it, an was eating the leftover pasta with his fingers. FML

#20198660
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23921) - you deserved it (1545)

On 12/10/2012 at 2:01am - misc - by Alec (man) - United States

yesterday at my new job, some juvenile cockbite spiked my food with a laxative, as part of some kind of bizarre hazing ritual. The bastard got ratted out an suspended, but my arsehole now feels like it's been blown apart by a nuclear warhead. I thought this shit only happened in movies. FML

#20409224
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30261) - you deserved it (6217)

On 12/20/2012 at 4:49pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Taday I had to do a presentation in front of my entre school. I was very nervous, so I used the old trick of picturing everyone naked. Everyone then got a good view of my erection. FML

#20199177
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36998) - you deserved it (15251)

On 12/10/2012 at 3:41pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today..!! I came home to fine husband and our 4-year-old son simultaneously peieng off the second-floor balcony!! My husband was giggling like a little grl!!

#20403594
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30881) - you deserved it (5750)

On 12/17/2012 at 11:21am - kids - by Bonding_boys (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

2day I was doing a presentation in front of my boss. On the last slide, someone had putted a picture of a man's cock. I later found out it was my boss who did it. It was his "good reason" to fire me. FML

#20199630
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29740) - you deserved it (1863)

On 12/10/2012 at 9:05pm - work - by golfstar11 - United States (Georgia)

2day my car is still in te sop, so I askd my psyco broter to drive me to te mall. He spd up to nerely 20km over te sped limit, so I soutd for im to stop before e got us bot killd. He it te brakes in te middle of an intersection, and wouldn't move again until I got out. FML

#20401140
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22201) - you deserved it (7284)

On 12/15/2012 at 7:03pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Germany (Baden-Wurttemberg)



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