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Monday 10 December 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my girlfriend and I were in the mood for something different. So we decided to have sex in the shower. When we were finished I heard a voice outside the door asking if we needed a towel. It was my mother. FML

#20401581
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35126) - you deserved it (17706)

On 12/16/2012 at 1:25am - intimacy - by Steve - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, a lady on the bus came up to me and asked if she could sit down. Thinking she meant the seat next to me, I said sure. She meant my lap. FML

#20198778
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24826) - you deserved it (2116)

On 12/10/2012 at 5:13am - misc - by LLCK - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I started a new job. I'm now trapped in a small office with a woman who says, "Oh my gravy!" constantly. In response to everything. FML

#20201125
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24746) - you deserved it (2087)

On 12/11/2012 at 9:53pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Louisiana)

Today, my daughter wore my favorite Christmas sweater to an ugly sweater party. FML

#20201801
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24183) - you deserved it (9315)

On 12/12/2012 at 11:05am - kids - by Saduglydad - United States (Texas)

Today, I saw a photo on Instagram of my friend flipping the camera the bird. She'd tagged it under "irony", so I jokingly suggested that she borrow a dictionary. She responded with a tirade of abuse, claimed to be sleeping with my boyfriend, and blocked me an hour later. FML

#20398380
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24472) - you deserved it (3440)

On 12/13/2012 at 7:51pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I saw my crush at the grocery store. He saw me and started walking towards me. I got so excited that I farted when he came near. FML

#20402614
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37600) - you deserved it (9806)

On 12/16/2012 at 7:58pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I brought my 6-year-old to the mall to sit on Santa's lap. She told him what she wanted and smiled for the picture. When the lady told her that her turn was over, she began throwing a fit, pulling off Santa's beard in the process. This caused all the kids in line to begin sobbing. FML

#20403366
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31396) - you deserved it (6537)

On 12/17/2012 at 6:37am - kids - by unknown - Canada

Today, my family went on a family trip without me. Their reason for not bringing me? My older sister wanted extra legroom during the drive. FML

Today, I took my driver's test. I was confident and thought everything would go well. My boss ended up calling me several times during the test. Turns out my colleague never showed up to cover for me, and my boss blamed me. Not only did I fail my test, I'm now suspended from work too. FML

#20397879
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25264) - you deserved it (2580)

On 12/13/2012 at 12:04pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Bromley)

Today, I had the pleasure of finding out how it feels to poop with 3 broken ribs. FML

#20398877
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31675) - you deserved it (2090)

On 12/14/2012 at 1:44am - health - by mysidesaresplitting - United States (Michigan)

Today, after several years spent hung up on my ex, I was finally moving on. I was on a date with my new boyfriend when my ex walked past us. He broke down crying, got on his knees, and begged me to come back. FML

#20402543
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37704) - you deserved it (3893)

On 12/16/2012 at 6:57pm - love - by Miki (woman) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I accidentally left my textbook at home. Normally this wouldn't be an issue, but today was my class final. Since it was an open-book final, I'd decided not to study for it. I'm pretty sure I failed. FML

#20201964
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9681) - you deserved it (36548)

On 12/12/2012 at 2:14pm - misc - by dumbassgrad - United States (California)

Today, in art class, our instructor called me up to the front to model for a drawing. I agreed to pose because it was nice to be called on, and I needed a self-esteem boost. He then thanked me, saying it's a great exercise for the class to draw such strange proportions. FML

#20202076
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27468) - you deserved it (2340)

On 12/12/2012 at 3:48pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)



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