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Monday 10 December 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I met my girlfriend's father for the first time; he asked me to explain my interest in dating her. In a mix of me trying to say "I want to be with your daughter" and "I want to be in your daughter's life" I got confused and said, "I want to be in your daughter." FML

#20198676
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31570) - you deserved it (6245)

On 12/10/2012 at 2:21am - love - by Tonguetied0496 (man) - United States (California)

Today, my daughter wore my favorite Christmas sweater to an ugly sweater party. FML

#20201801
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20788) - you deserved it (8795)

On 12/12/2012 at 11:05am - kids - by Saduglydad - United States (Texas)

Today, while doing our Christmas shopping, my sister showed me a product that she really hated. The same one I bought her for Christmas. FML

#20403689
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27737) - you deserved it (3965)

On 12/17/2012 at 1:16pm - money - by bob (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, my girlfriend and I were in the mood for something different. So we decided to have sex in the shower. When we were finished I heard a voice outside the door asking if we needed a towel. It was my mother. FML

#20401581
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31151) - you deserved it (16368)

On 12/16/2012 at 1:25am - intimacy - by Steve - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I brought my 6-year-old to the mall to sit on Santa's lap. She told him what she wanted and smiled for the picture. When the lady told her that her turn was over, she began throwing a fit, pulling off Santa's beard in the process. This caused all the kids in line to begin sobbing. FML

#20403366
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27818) - you deserved it (6070)

On 12/17/2012 at 6:37am - kids - by unknown - Canada

Today, my family went on a family trip without me. Their reason for not bringing me? My older sister wanted extra legroom during the drive. FML

Today, I took my driver's test. I was confident and thought everything would go well. My boss ended up calling me several times during the test. Turns out my colleague never showed up to cover for me, and my boss blamed me. Not only did I fail my test, I'm now suspended from work too. FML

#20397879
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22182) - you deserved it (2279)

On 12/13/2012 at 12:04pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Bromley)

Today, I saw my crush at the grocery store. He saw me and started walking towards me. I got so excited that I farted when he came near. FML

#20402614
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33929) - you deserved it (9158)

On 12/16/2012 at 7:58pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I took a relaxing bath, but got the book I was reading slightly wet when getting out. I put it on top of the towel dryer after delicately shaking it. Five minutes later, I heard a splash; I went into the bathroom to find that my book had toppled into the toilet bowl. FML

#20403223
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11352) - you deserved it (23387)

On 12/17/2012 at 2:33am - misc - by LemmyIsWet (man) - United States

Today, I saw a photo on Instagram of my friend flipping the camera the bird. She'd tagged it under "irony", so I jokingly suggested that she borrow a dictionary. She responded with a tirade of abuse, claimed to be sleeping with my boyfriend, and blocked me an hour later. FML

#20398380
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21112) - you deserved it (3046)

On 12/13/2012 at 7:51pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I accidentally left my textbook at home. Normally this wouldn't be an issue, but today was my class final. Since it was an open-book final, I'd decided not to study for it. I'm pretty sure I failed. FML

#20201964
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8327) - you deserved it (32556)

On 12/12/2012 at 2:14pm - misc - by dumbassgrad - United States (California)

Today, I have a cold. I can't begin to count how many times I've sneezed throughout the day, but I can count how many times I've sneezed so hard that I've peed myself: twice. Once while I was at work helping a customer, the other while sitting on the couch next to my boyfriend. FML

#20397583
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21867) - you deserved it (2059)

On 12/13/2012 at 3:58am - health - by meranda_johnson - United States

Today, my car window got smashed in. The cop that came to take the report said they'd already caught the guy doing it, he'd smashed in several other car windows, all of the exact same model and color. His reason for doing it was simple: he was drunk and "hated red Jeeps". FML

#20403025
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30834) - you deserved it (3337)

On 12/17/2012 at 12:08am - misc - by Cold (man) - United States (Virginia)



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