Monday 10 December 2012 
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Today, at a Christmas party, my crush came up to me and cutely pointed out that I was standing under mistletoe. The only response my stupid brain could think of was, "Probably full of nargles though." He gave me a confused look and walked away. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19825) - you deserved it (8928)
On 12/16/2012 at 6:51pm - love - by Rhine (woman) - Barbados (Saint Michael)
Today, I spent nearly half an hour trying to dispel my sister's belief that men have to strap down their penises before going jogging. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18923) - you deserved it (2169)
On 12/16/2012 at 6:02pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Ireland (Waterford)
Today, my roommate turned the thermostat down to 50 degrees. Why? Because she read that shivering burns calories. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16794) - you deserved it (1122)
On 12/11/2012 at 12:17pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, at the gas station, the automatic door didn't open when I approached it. I asked the cashier to open it for me, joking that because I'm a redhead, I didn't have a soul and it wouldn't open for me. The cashier freaked and wouldn't let me go until I proved I had a soul. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18821) - you deserved it (3642)
On 12/11/2012 at 1:07am - misc - by Devil (woman) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, I was burgled while I was on the toilet. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23050) - you deserved it (1973)
On 12/16/2012 at 11:55am - misc - by emchocolat (woman) - Europe
Today, "The Phantom of the Opera" soundtrack blasted me awake at 4 am. Not knowing how it got on my iPod, I checked and found I had bought the whole $17.00 album in my sleep. This is the second time this month; the first time I downloaded the soundtrack from "The Wizard of Oz". FML
I agree, your life sucks (19096) - you deserved it (4159)
On 12/10/2012 at 12:10am - money - by hailey - United States (Maryland)
Today, my boyfriend grabbed my boob, shook it savagely, and shouted "Earthquake!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (25402) - you deserved it (6397)
On 12/17/2012 at 6:12pm - misc - by Ape (woman) - United States
Today, I went Christmas shopping for my cat. I still haven't bought presents for my family, yet my cat already has several small gifts under the tree and an outfit to wear around the house. I really need a new hobby. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7088) - you deserved it (23003)
On 12/13/2012 at 6:04am - animals - by catlover - Australia (Victoria)
Today, I smiled at a new kid and started a conversation with him, just to be nice. He later sent me 24 messages describing how strong his love for me is. I'm scared to go to school tomorrow. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23211) - you deserved it (2278)
On 12/11/2012 at 3:39am - love - by you're just creepy. - Canada (Yukon Territory)
Today, as my 12 hour shift was about to finish, a young boy came in wanting to buy a $200 gaming device. His mom said he was purchasing it with his own money, which I found admirable. That is, until he took his piggy bank out of his backpack. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18151) - you deserved it (1258)
On 12/14/2012 at 12:10am - kids - by Ethan_18 - United States
Today, I avoided having to wash the dishes by faking a cold. My sucker of a wife believed me and hopped off my balls about it. Later on, after I made a miraculous recovery, she told me to take out the trash. It's freezing outside and raining, and I feel a very real cold coming on. FML
I agree, your life sucks (3782) - you deserved it (49493)
On 12/14/2012 at 2:19pm - misc - by fuckmyassimcold (man) - United States
Today, I woke up to find my best friend lying down and unresponsive. Frightened, I tapped on the glass. He got scared and started swimming again. My best friend is a fish. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19361) - you deserved it (4301)
On 12/10/2012 at 5:40pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - Sweden (Vastmanlands Lan)
Today, my boyfriend got done with Marine combat training. The first thing he asked for weren't pictures of me but pictures of his car. Missed you too babe. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15773) - you deserved it (1911)
On 12/10/2012 at 2:47am - love - by chels (woman) - United States (Ohio)
Monday 20 May 2013
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