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Monday 10 December 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my boyfriend grabbed my boob, shook it savagely, and shouted "Earthquake!" FML

#20404037
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34273) - you deserved it (8440)

On 12/17/2012 at 6:12pm - misc - by Ape (woman) - United States

Today, I finally got my wedding photos in the mail. As I looked through them, I soon realized that the lace material on my wedding dress was completely see-through in the sunlight, and my bra and panties were visible in every single outdoor photo. I had an outdoor wedding. FML

#20397769
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31427) - you deserved it (8612)

On 12/13/2012 at 9:35am - misc - by AboutToGoKillBillOnSomeone (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, at the gas station, the automatic door didn't open when I approached it. I asked the cashier to open it for me, joking that because I'm a redhead, I didn't have a soul and it wouldn't open for me. The cashier freaked and wouldn't let me go until I proved I had a soul. FML

#20199980
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28685) - you deserved it (5548)

On 12/11/2012 at 1:07am - misc - by Devil (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I spent nearly half an hour trying to dispel my sister's belief that men have to strap down their penises before going jogging. FML

#20402473
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31892) - you deserved it (3857)

On 12/16/2012 at 6:02pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Ireland (Waterford)

Today, I avoided having to wash the dishes by faking a cold. My sucker of a wife believed me and hopped off my balls about it. Later on, after I made a miraculous recovery, she told me to take out the trash. It's freezing outside and raining, and I feel a very real cold coming on. FML

#20399412
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6517) - you deserved it (75753)

On 12/14/2012 at 2:19pm - misc - by fuckmyassimcold (man) - United States

Today, I was hit in the head by a golf ball. I wasn't near a golf course, and nobody was anywhere in sight. I'm still trying to figure out what happened. FML

#20403784
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39991) - you deserved it (3746)

On 12/17/2012 at 2:38pm - health - by wtf - United States

Today, my roommate turned the thermostat down to 50 degrees. Why? Because she read that shivering burns calories. FML

#20200383
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26064) - you deserved it (2056)

On 12/11/2012 at 12:17pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was burgled while I was on the toilet. FML

#20402014
135 comments

Today, "The Phantom of the Opera" soundtrack blasted me awake at 4 am. Not knowing how it got on my iPod, I checked and found I had bought the whole $17.00 album in my sleep. This is the second time this month; the first time I downloaded the soundtrack from "The Wizard of Oz". FML

#20198547
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29155) - you deserved it (6423)

On 12/10/2012 at 12:10am - money - by hailey - United States (Maryland)

Today, I realized that sex with my husband has gotten so boring that I'd rather fake an orgasm than let him continue. FML

#20199068
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33181) - you deserved it (12284)

On 12/10/2012 at 1:37pm - intimacy - by hnickell93 - United States (California)

Today, I smiled at a new kid and started a conversation with him, just to be nice. He later sent me 24 messages describing how strong his love for me is. I'm scared to go to school tomorrow. FML

#20200101
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33184) - you deserved it (3594)

On 12/11/2012 at 3:39am - love - by you're just creepy. - Canada (Yukon Territory)

Today, I played a game of Monopoly with my friends. Since I'm of Greek origin, they thought it would be funny to make me start with a €100,000 debt. FML

#20398504
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30587) - you deserved it (5386) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 12/13/2012 at 9:25pm - money - by Money-money-money (woman) - France

Today, I went Christmas shopping for my cat. I still haven't bought presents for my family, yet my cat already has several small gifts under the tree and an outfit to wear around the house. I really need a new hobby. FML

#20397631
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10435) - you deserved it (30852)

On 12/13/2012 at 6:04am - animals - by catlover - Australia (Victoria)



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