Sunday 9 December 2012 
Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time
Today, I found out my new girlfriend is a screamer. This would normally turn me on, except she sounds like she's being murdered with a rusty fork. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24259) - you deserved it (2401)
On 12/06/2012 at 9:24am - intimacy - by Dontwaketheneighbors (man) - United States (California)
Today, I told my girlfriend that I'm breaking up with her because she's very abusive. After a couple of seconds of awkward silence, she kicked me in the nuts and ran away. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20232) - you deserved it (2518)
On 12/03/2012 at 6:53am - love - by Anonymous (man) - Canada
Today, I went down on my boyfriend for the first time. I went slowly to build up the excitement, and I thought it was working really well, until he sighed, "For fuck's sake, it's a dick, not a shotgun." and told me to stop embarrassing him. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26382) - you deserved it (7162)
On 12/14/2012 at 7:27pm - intimacy - by sucks at sucking (woman) - United Kingdom (Bournemouth)
Today, I finally got my wedding photos in the mail. As I looked through them, I soon realized that the lace material on my wedding dress was completely see-through in the sunlight, and my bra and panties were visible in every single outdoor photo. I had an outdoor wedding. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22319) - you deserved it (7072)
On 12/13/2012 at 9:35am - misc - by AboutToGoKillBillOnSomeone (woman) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, my friend and I told each other about our boyfriends. They're both nice, kind, beautiful, talented, funny, sweet and smart. They also both have the same name. And house. And job. And car. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34114) - you deserved it (1971)
On 12/08/2012 at 5:44am - love - by ouch. - Canada (Yukon Territory)
Today, my boyfriend and I had a disagreement over the pronunciation of the word "train." It turned into a heated debate that lasted all night and ended with us sleeping in separate rooms. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8296) - you deserved it (10149)
On 12/04/2012 at 3:12am - love - by superminty - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my husband and I sat our 10-year-old daughter down for a chat over her recent cursing. When my husband asked where she'd heard the words, she "innocently" replied, "from mommy's other boyfriend." He took her seriously, accused me of cheating, and hasn't been home since. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24685) - you deserved it (4375)
On 12/14/2012 at 6:52pm - love - by mandybar15 (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)
Today, at a Christmas party, my crush came up to me and cutely pointed out that I was standing under mistletoe. The only response my stupid brain could think of was, "Probably full of nargles though." He gave me a confused look and walked away. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19825) - you deserved it (8929)
On 12/16/2012 at 6:51pm - love - by Rhine (woman) - Barbados (Saint Michael)
Today, I was visiting my daughter, whose husband was still asleep at noon. I made a point of stomping around on the hardwood floor and speaking loudly to wake his lazy ass up. Turns out he's now working a 14-hour graveyard shift, and it has no negative effect on his shoe-throwing skills. FML
I agree, your life sucks (3753) - you deserved it (63141)
On 12/06/2012 at 2:23pm - misc - by mom (woman) - Netherlands (Utrecht)
Today, I spent nearly half an hour trying to dispel my sister's belief that men have to strap down their penises before going jogging. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18923) - you deserved it (2169)
On 12/16/2012 at 6:02pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Ireland (Waterford)
Today, my roommate turned the thermostat down to 50 degrees. Why? Because she read that shivering burns calories. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16794) - you deserved it (1122)
On 12/11/2012 at 12:17pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I was diagnosed with pneumonia. My breathing is short and heavy, and I wanted my boyfriend to comfort me. Instead, he called me Darth Vader, patted me on the head, and said, "Don't worry, the Force will be with you." FML
I agree, your life sucks (16119) - you deserved it (2696)
On 12/05/2012 at 12:55pm - health - by Emily - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, at the gas station, the automatic door didn't open when I approached it. I asked the cashier to open it for me, joking that because I'm a redhead, I didn't have a soul and it wouldn't open for me. The cashier freaked and wouldn't let me go until I proved I had a soul. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18821) - you deserved it (3642)
On 12/11/2012 at 1:07am - misc - by Devil (woman) - Australia (Victoria)
Monday 20 May 2013
The website: FML t-shirts -
Love - Animals - Money - Kids - Work - Health - Intimacy - Miscellaneous - Members
RSS feeds: 
Follow the FML 
Follow the FML blog 
Follow the FML comments
Go on the road: BlackBerry - Android - iPhone/iPod Touch - Windows Phone 7 - Mobile version
Give stuff to people: FML book - FML t-shirts
FML Everywhere: Français - Italiano - Español - Türk - Pусский - Svenskt - Indonesia
