Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Tuesday 4 December 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my boyfriend discovered how to make me queef on demand when he has his fingers inside me. I now feel like my love life has been replaced with fart sounds. FML

#20189453
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34831) - you deserved it (4202)

On 12/03/2012 at 1:39pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I was snooping around in my parents' closet to see what I would get for Christmas, when I came across a UPS package. It was the video game I ordered off eBay 3 weeks ago, addressed to me. They told me it had never arrived and said I should ask Santa to bring it to me. FML

#20195835
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31474) - you deserved it (4779)

On 12/08/2012 at 12:44am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was doing a presentation in front of my boss. On the last slide, someone had put a picture of a man's cock. I later found out it was my boss who did it. It was his "good reason" to fire me. FML

#20199630
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32162) - you deserved it (2040)

On 12/10/2012 at 9:05pm - work - by golfstar11 - United States (Georgia)

Today, I woke up to find my best friend lying down and unresponsive. Frightened, I tapped on the glass. He got scared and started swimming again. My best friend is a fish. FML

#20199342
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30860) - you deserved it (6914)

On 12/10/2012 at 5:40pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - Sweden (Vastmanlands Lan)

Today, I was out clubbing. My girlfriend went to get us drinks, so I danced alone while I waited. Some girl with hideous meth mouth, who was clearly tripping balls, started harassing and groping me and got all three of us kicked out when my girlfriend returned and beat the hell out of her. FML

#20195284
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25732) - you deserved it (2966)

On 12/07/2012 at 4:28pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I had to get to class at 9:00 to take a test. I woke up at 6:00, and figured I could wait a few minutes before getting ready. The next thing I knew, it was 10:30. FML

#20200420
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22936) - you deserved it (23885)

On 12/11/2012 at 1:16pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, while getting a hernia exam, I accidentally ran my fingers through my doctor's hair. FML

#20188881
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23973) - you deserved it (8566)

On 12/03/2012 at 12:06am - health - by WTFFAIL (man) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I walked out of my apartment to see that someone had climbed onto the hood of my car and taken a shit on my windshield. I only moved in a couple of weeks ago. FML

#20189050
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24362) - you deserved it (1721)

On 12/03/2012 at 2:36am - misc - by poopsthegame - United States (Hawaii)

Today, I overheard my parents fighting about who has been the most loyal. I found out my Dad has cheated twice, and is still the most faithful of the two. FML

#20198811
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32525) - you deserved it (1890)

On 12/10/2012 at 6:41am - love - by slenderman908 - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was riding the train and someone farted. Everyone looked at me. People always blame farts on the fat guy. FML

#20190789
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32042) - you deserved it (6627)

On 12/04/2012 at 11:04am - misc - by Banana (man) - Puerto Rico

Today, I dutifully attended my husband's local gig at a coffee shop. I thus found out, through song, about my husband's affair, in front of about 100 people. All of whom we both know. FML

Today, I was bartending. A guest was getting belligerent so I had to cut him off. He called me a bitch and threw the rest of his drink in my face before storming off. The belligerent asscandle was my boyfriend. FML

#20193528
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27694) - you deserved it (4502)

On 12/06/2012 at 6:50am - love - by FMyEx - United States (Connecticut)

Today, after a romantic dinner, movie, and stroll in the park, we had our first kiss. It would have been perfect, had a passerby not thrown rubbish at us for "unnecessary public display of affection." FML

#20194899
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25371) - you deserved it (3301)

On 12/07/2012 at 7:39am - love - by First Kiss - Australia (Victoria)



Maïté Verjux's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Auntie Bernie delivers in 2016
  • Greetings my young friends! It's 2016 and I'm late. No, I'm not pregnant, I'm way too old for that sort of thing, even though I've been trying a lot recently (hey there Didier, you randy rascal…

Friday 5 February 2016

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: