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Tuesday 4 December 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, it's my birthday and my ex husband texted me at midnight to tell happy birthday. Too bad he couldn't have texted my new husband to remind him. FML

#20196242
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28245) - you deserved it (4969)

On 12/08/2012 at 11:12am - love - by aerythia - United States (Tennessee)

Today, my science class found out that I have OCD and that one of my rituals is to cough when others cough. This is going to be a long year. FML

#20191703
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23391) - you deserved it (3648)

On 12/04/2012 at 11:09pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, I was out clubbing. My girlfriend went to get us drinks, so I danced alone while I waited. Some girl with hideous meth mouth, who was clearly tripping balls, started harassing and groping me, and got all three of us kicked out when my girlfriend returned and beat the hell out of her. FML

#20195284
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21946) - you deserved it (2617)

On 12/07/2012 at 4:28pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, my roommate pressed "snooze" on his alarm 14 times. I counted. FML

#20200321
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21197) - you deserved it (2183)

On 12/11/2012 at 10:57am - misc - by roommateprobssss:( - United States

Today, during a conversation, my boss said, "What, what?" Before I could stop myself, I replied, "In the butt." FML

#20191552
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12001) - you deserved it (28208)

On 12/04/2012 at 9:43pm - work - by whitecollar - United Kingdom (York)

Today, my daughter called me to pick her up at the mall. She said I had to meet her inside a specific store, so I figured she wanted me to pay for something. Turns out I was right, she was being arrested for shoplifting. FML

#20193017
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24122) - you deserved it (2396)

On 12/05/2012 at 9:32pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I sent in an assignment from my batshit insane teacher. The assignment was to read a poem, analyze it, and make a comic of its plot. This would've been fine if the teacher who assigned it to me didn't teach math. FML

Today, I dutifully attended my husband's local gig at a coffee shop. I thus found out, through song, about my husband's affair, in front of about 100 people. All of whom we both know. FML

Today, my girlfriend showed me a print of a Banksy that she'd just bought, telling me it was an original. When I tried to argue that it wasn't, she broke up with me for "implying she was a moron." FML

#20190801
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19986) - you deserved it (2596)

On 12/04/2012 at 11:17am - love - by Single (man) - United Kingdom (Bath and North East Somerset)

Today, after telling my young kids all about Santa, his reindeer and his sleigh, we saw him. Smoking a cigarette in the beat-up car next to ours at a red light. FML

#20192265
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20660) - you deserved it (3851)

On 12/05/2012 at 11:50am - kids - by JessThompson - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was snooping around in my parents' closet to see what I would get for Christmas, when I came across a UPS package. It was the video game I ordered off eBay 3 weeks ago, addressed to me. They told me it had never arrived and said I should ask Santa to bring it to me. FML

#20195835
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29012) - you deserved it (4450)

On 12/08/2012 at 12:44am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my pregnant girlfriend gave me back the ring I'd used to propose with a week ago. Her reason? She only said yes because she was worried the real father of the baby wasn't going to stick around. FML

#20192033
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37984) - you deserved it (2428)

On 12/05/2012 at 5:52am - love - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my dog did something I had no idea he could do. He participated in an all-male three-way at the dog park. In front of everyone. FML

#20199452
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23402) - you deserved it (2395)

On 12/10/2012 at 7:04pm - animals - by MoreActionThanMe - United States



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