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Sunday 2 December 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I was separating my notes into two piles: one to save for exam studying and one to throw out. I finished separating, picked up the junk pile and absentmindedly shredded it. Afterwards, I looked down to see the junk pile still completely intact. Goodbye, passing grades. FML

#20180442
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10076) - you deserved it (26816)

On 11/26/2012 at 10:03pm - work - by shark - United States (Texas)

Today, after being single for a while now, I unwillingly went on a blind date with a guy my friend convinced me would be perfect for me. He took me to McDonald's; his father was with him the whole entire time. He is 27. FML

#20180462
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23840) - you deserved it (1953)

On 11/26/2012 at 10:13pm - love - by N - Denmark (Hovedstaden)

Today, I was yelled at by a customer, who was upset over having waited twenty minutes for a waiter to come take her order. Maybe it would be understandable, if she was sitting in an actual restaurant, and not a serve-yourself coffee house. FML

#20194179
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22004) - you deserved it (1252)

On 12/06/2012 at 6:50pm - work - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I bought some expensive fabric softener since I'm not too keen on my detergent's smell. Only after washing two weeks worth of laundry did I discover that mixed together they realistically mimic the smell of fresh puke. FML

#20189162
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17172) - you deserved it (3236)

On 12/03/2012 at 6:40am - misc - by backtothelaundrettethen (woman) - Germany

Today, I was out clubbing, when I saw a pair of very cute girls sitting at the bar, so I went over, hoping to introduce myself. I swung my leg over the stool, and through no fault of my own, sat on my own balls. I quickly got thrown out for "harassing the ladies." FML

#20185753
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7133) - you deserved it (17268)

On 11/30/2012 at 7:31pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I got into a fight with my girlfriend. After yelling and arguing my point, my cat got up and jumped up next to her on the bed. He sat down, and they both glared at me until I left. FML

#20189474
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21188) - you deserved it (3802)

On 12/03/2012 at 2:02pm - animals - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I found out that storing a partially empty bowl of ice cream in the freezer overnight along with the spoon, and then trying to take a bite the next day, can have the same effect as sticking your tongue on a flagpole in the middle of winter. FML

#20195063
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5905) - you deserved it (26398)

On 12/07/2012 at 12:06pm - misc - by Moose (man) - United States (West Virginia)

Today, I thought it would be nice to park my new car under a big, shady oak tree to prevent it from heating up in the sun. The big, shady oak tree thought it would be nice to shed a massive branch on top of my new car. FML

#20196008
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21736) - you deserved it (3585)

On 12/08/2012 at 4:28am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I had to show my husband a video on how to brush your teeth. FML

#20188897
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18164) - you deserved it (2485)

On 12/03/2012 at 12:18am - health - by Gahh... (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, while I was at a urinal, a man came up to use the one next to me. He then said, "I guess this is where all the dicks hang out." He then stared at me until I left. FML

#20190054
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21059) - you deserved it (1637)

On 12/03/2012 at 9:14pm - misc - by reedcarter -

Today, I got a call from my boyfriend saying I needed to come home immediately. When I got there, he informed me that the reason I needed to rush home from work was because he wiped a booger on the wall and it was in the shape of a penis. He said it's a sign, like when people see Jesus in toast. FML

#20189885
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20765) - you deserved it (2911)

On 12/03/2012 at 7:38pm - misc - by FlyingFist - United States

Today, I ran into my high school crush at Target. When I asked her if she remembered me, she patted me on the head, said, "Unfortunately," and walked away. FML

#20191408
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21714) - you deserved it (2307)

On 12/04/2012 at 8:06pm - misc - by Likian5 (man) - United States

Today, I finally felt motivated to do some exercise. As I got my weights out, I noticed out of the corner of my eye someone moving about outside my window. I got scared and dropped a weight on my foot. The person outside was my own reflection. FML

#20195266
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18428) - you deserved it (8634)

On 12/07/2012 at 4:10pm - health - by i see fat people (man) - Australia (Australian Capital Territory)



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