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Friday 30 November 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I bought some expensive fabric softener since I'm not too keen on my detergent's smell. Only after washing two weeks worth of laundry did I discover that mixed together they realistically mimic the smell of fresh puke. FML

#20189162
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17094) - you deserved it (3231)

On 12/03/2012 at 6:40am - misc - by backtothelaundrettethen (woman) - Germany

Today, I was out clubbing, when I saw a pair of very cute girls sitting at the bar, so I went over, hoping to introduce myself. I swung my leg over the stool, and through no fault of my own, sat on my own balls. I quickly got thrown out for "harassing the ladies." FML

#20185753
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7102) - you deserved it (17197)

On 11/30/2012 at 7:31pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I got into a fight with my girlfriend. After yelling and arguing my point, my cat got up and jumped up next to her on the bed. He sat down, and they both glared at me until I left. FML

#20189474
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20233) - you deserved it (3664)

On 12/03/2012 at 2:02pm - animals - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I had to show my husband a video on how to brush your teeth. FML

#20188897
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18064) - you deserved it (2480)

On 12/03/2012 at 12:18am - health - by Gahh... (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, while I was at a urinal, a man came up to use the one next to me. He then said, "I guess this is where all the dicks hang out." He then stared at me until I left. FML

#20190054
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20428) - you deserved it (1582)

On 12/03/2012 at 9:14pm - misc - by reedcarter -

Today, I found out that storing a partially empty bowl of ice cream in the freezer overnight along with the spoon, and then trying to take a bite the next day, can have the same effect as sticking your tongue on a flagpole in the middle of winter. FML

#20195063
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5882) - you deserved it (26316)

On 12/07/2012 at 12:06pm - misc - by Moose (man) - United States (West Virginia)

Today, I got a call from my boyfriend saying I needed to come home immediately. When I got there, he informed me that the reason I needed to rush home from work was because he wiped a booger on the wall and it was in the shape of a penis. He said it's a sign, like when people see Jesus in toast. FML

#20189885
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20670) - you deserved it (2909)

On 12/03/2012 at 7:38pm - misc - by FlyingFist - United States

Today, I ran into my high school crush at Target. When I asked her if she remembered me, she patted me on the head, said, "Unfortunately," and walked away. FML

#20191408
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21639) - you deserved it (2299)

On 12/04/2012 at 8:06pm - misc - by Likian5 (man) - United States

Today, I finally felt motivated to do some exercise. As I got my weights out, I noticed out of the corner of my eye someone moving about outside my window. I got scared and dropped a weight on my foot. The person outside was my own reflection. FML

#20195266
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18339) - you deserved it (8620)

On 12/07/2012 at 4:10pm - health - by i see fat people (man) - Australia (Australian Capital Territory)

Today, I was woken up by my elderly neighbor banging on my door at 2am. She needed "urgent" assistance as she had forgotten how to turn her TV off. I'd just fallen asleep. FML

#20184989
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19017) - you deserved it (1451)

On 11/30/2012 at 2:29am - misc - by Rachael (woman) - Australia

Today, I brought a boy over to my house to help with a history project. My mom suddenly swooped in and bombarded him with questions about his and my sex life, and how she wants to have exactly four grandchildren. FML

#20186150
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23848) - you deserved it (1803)

On 12/01/2012 at 1:06am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was at my boyfriend's house when I got a call from my parents. They told me to come home immediately. Panicking, I rushed home. My dad pulled out a clear tube filled with dried leaves. They accused me of having marijuana. It was catnip for my kitten. FML

#20187165
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22702) - you deserved it (1684)

On 12/01/2012 at 9:01pm - misc - by potheadloljk (woman) - United States (Maine)

Today, to scare my little brother I dressed up as the killer from the Scream movies. The outfit was a little too long on me, and I ended up falling down the stairs. Not only was he doubled over laughing, but so were the people in the emergency room. FML

#20186785
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7959) - you deserved it (23972)

On 12/01/2012 at 3:21pm - health - by fieldmarshalclitter (man) - United States



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