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Thursday 29 November 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, someone very close to me came out of the closet. Normally I would fully support them, had we not just gotten married. FML

#20181869
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41349) - you deserved it (2656)

On 11/27/2012 at 10:08pm - love - by Bliggins - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex when the condom broke. He told me to go put a tampon in to "soak up the kids". How did he graduate? FML

#20186465
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44393) - you deserved it (6874)

On 12/01/2012 at 9:54am - intimacy - by me. - United States

Today, my girlfriend confronted me for forgetting to take the trash out. At some point during the argument, I tried to calm her down, and the words "I should of" escaped my lips. She spent the next ten minutes calling me stupid and laughing at how my grammar goes to hell when I'm distressed. FML

#20185423
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19959) - you deserved it (4615)

On 11/30/2012 at 2:30pm - love - by Gus (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I finally summoned the courage to ask my dad to pay me as he promised, after I cut the lawn and cleaned all the house windows last week. His response was, "Get fucked." FML

#20188543
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22868) - you deserved it (2912)

On 12/02/2012 at 8:57pm - misc - by :/ (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my step-mom restarted the computer because she thought she'd downloaded a virus that stopped her from being able to click on anything, erasing my 7-page paper in the process. It turns out it was just the batteries dying in our wireless mouse. FML

#20180681
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24869) - you deserved it (12604)

On 11/27/2012 at 12:06am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I was visiting my daughter, whose husband was still asleep at noon. I made a point of stomping around on the hardwood floor and speaking loudly to wake his lazy ass up. Turns out he's now working a 14-hour graveyard shift, and it has no negative effect on his shoe-throwing skills. FML

#20193830
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5539) - you deserved it (76520)

On 12/06/2012 at 2:23pm - misc - by mom (woman) - Netherlands (Utrecht)

Today, my boyfriend dumped me by throwing my stuff out of his place, and accusing me of cheating while yelling, "Cheater, cheater! Pumpkin eater!" When I tried explaining that I have no clue what he's talking about, he started exclaiming, "Liar, liar! Pants on fire!" FML

#20180296
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26761) - you deserved it (3193)

On 11/26/2012 at 8:41pm - love - by imnotacheateryouimmaturefuck (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I followed my neighbor's advice and sprayed Sprite on my Christmas tree because it will "make it live longer." I just came downstairs to find my Christmas tree covered in ants. FML

#20186141
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7193) - you deserved it (39878)

On 12/01/2012 at 1:01am - misc - by Chuffy - United States (Colorado)

Today, my parents heard from my sister that I'd recently lost my virginity to my girlfriend. I've never been bitched out so viciously in my life, and yet my sister, whom everyone knows has had numerous casual sexual partners this year, is treated like a princess 24/7. FML

#20188038
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27856) - you deserved it (2263)

On 12/02/2012 at 1:55pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Suffolk)

Today, Muse cancelled their upcoming show in Oslo. I bought my sold-out tickets on the black market for double the retail price, and have no way of getting my money back. FML

#20184120
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11900) - you deserved it (38080)

On 11/29/2012 at 4:12pm - misc - by faen (man) - Norway (Sogn og Fjordane)

Today, as part of my job as a swimming instructor, I had to help a teenage boy learn how to float. This involves supporting the person's back as they try to float. His boner stood straight up. FML

#20185787
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39598) - you deserved it (3702)

On 11/30/2012 at 8:02pm - intimacy - by julia (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, the battery cables on my car came loose, thus resetting my car's electronics to factory settings. The anti-theft system is now turned on, and I can't start my car with it on. Luckily, it turns off with a remote. The remote broke about six months ago. FML

Today, I went to Hollister with my grandmother. She immediately started yelling about the music being too loud, and ordered the staff to "shut the damn thing off". She was yelling at a bunch of mannequins. FML

#20186953
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25327) - you deserved it (4414)

On 12/01/2012 at 5:53pm - misc - by time to put you down, gran (woman) - United States



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