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Tuesday 27 November 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my boyfriend discovered how to make me queef on demand when he has his fingers inside me. I now feel like my love life has been replaced with fart sounds. FML

#20189453
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25164) - you deserved it (3206)

On 12/03/2012 at 1:39pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, it's my 21st birthday and my dad has decided to take away my ID in fear that if I have even one drink to celebrate I'll become a raging alcoholic. FML

#20189765
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18820) - you deserved it (2036)

On 12/03/2012 at 6:01pm - misc - by VedaLynn - United States

Today, someone very close to me came out of the closet. Normally I would fully support them, had we not just gotten married. FML

#20181869
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35539) - you deserved it (2182)

On 11/27/2012 at 10:08pm - love - by Bliggins - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, as I was about to walk across the street, a girl in front of me who clearly wasn't paying attention to the traffic, almost got run over. I grabbed her arm and jumped back. She was fine. I fell and fractured my arm and wrist. FML

#20182568
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21957) - you deserved it (1851)

On 11/28/2012 at 12:43pm - health - by williebees - United States (Texas)

Today, I was mugged at gunpoint by a senior citizen. She now has a lousy $20, and I probably have PTSD. FML

#20182765
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16856) - you deserved it (1990)

On 11/28/2012 at 4:16pm - misc - by stillshakinggd (man) - United States

Today, I went to a restaurant with my boyfriend. After dessert, he went to the bathroom so I quickly called the waiter over and paid the bill, thinking it was a nice gesture. When he returned, he broke up with me for "emasculating" him. FML

#20180957
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22553) - you deserved it (3864)

On 11/27/2012 at 6:36am - love - by Clementine (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I came home to my mother-in-law wearing the gold chain which I usually keep in a hidden drawer. I searched my drawer only to find out my chain was missing. I asked my mother-in-law if she took it and she keeps denying the fact that she stole it from me. My husband is on her side. FML

#20183636
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23592) - you deserved it (1339)

On 11/29/2012 at 3:01am - misc - by elizabeth - United States (Nevada)

Today, I walked out of my apartment to see that someone had climbed onto the hood of my car and taken a shit on my windshield. I only moved in a couple of weeks ago. FML

#20189050
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17050) - you deserved it (1165)

On 12/03/2012 at 2:36am - misc - by poopsthegame - United States (Hawaii)

Today, my boss was telling everyone that he knew a guy who went to a college at which multiple people were shot and killed recently. Being extremely socially awkward and uncomfortable, I blurted, "That's awesome." Now everyone in the office is terrified of me. FML

#20191114
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8618) - you deserved it (13710)

On 12/04/2012 at 4:34pm - work - by Adan - United States (Washington)

Today my boyfriend and my best friend had a very lengthy, detailed conversation about Lord of the Rings and the Hobbit, of which I know nothing about. Once they stopped, I looked at him and smiled, and he responded with, "Why can't you be more like her?" FML

#20183421
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21478) - you deserved it (6062)

On 11/28/2012 at 11:33pm - love - by JStein (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was riding the train and someone farted. Everyone looked at me. People always blame farts on the fat guy. FML

#20190789
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22585) - you deserved it (4419)

On 12/04/2012 at 11:04am - misc - by Banana (man) - Puerto Rico

Today, my girlfriend got into the Christmas cheer while giving me a hand job, smashing my nuts with her palm in time to her humming of Jingle Bells. FML

#20188363
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21296) - you deserved it (3562)

On 12/02/2012 at 6:39pm - intimacy - by fineididntwantkidsanyway (man) - Australia (South Australia)

Today, I played paintball with a bunch of friends. By the end of the day, my girlfriend and I were the only people left on the field. She shot me mercilessly, and I screamed like a little girl. 30 people watched, 4 people filmed. FML

#20179414
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9051) - you deserved it (19172)

On 11/26/2012 at 5:26am - misc - by Z (man) - Australia



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