Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Monday 26 November 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I was slapped across the face by a girl in the waiting room at the dentist's office. She thought I was taking a picture of her breasts with my phone. I was smiling while reading other people's FMLs. FML

#20189568
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43643) - you deserved it (3538)

On 12/03/2012 at 3:35pm - misc - by karmamaybe - United States (South Dakota)

Today, I heard a teenage boy ask his friend, "So, is it, like, November in Australia too?" This is the future of America. FML

#20179140
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26983) - you deserved it (2673)

On 11/26/2012 at 12:27am - kids - by toritoratora - United States (California)

Today, my friend spilt orange juice all over my iPad. She then went ahead to clean it off by rinsing it with water. FML

#20187648
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29626) - you deserved it (2862)

On 12/02/2012 at 5:16am - misc - by Ashley - United States (California)

Today, I told my girlfriend that I'm breaking up with her because she's very abusive. After a couple of seconds of awkward silence, she kicked me in the nuts and ran away. FML

#20189170
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31167) - you deserved it (4032)

On 12/03/2012 at 6:53am - love - by Anonymous (man) - Canada

Today, my step-mom restarted the computer because she thought she'd downloaded a virus that stopped her from being able to click on anything, erasing my 7-page paper in the process. It turns out it was just the batteries dying in our wireless mouse. FML

#20180681
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25927) - you deserved it (12875)

On 11/27/2012 at 12:06am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, Muse cancelled their upcoming show in Oslo. I bought my sold-out tickets on the black market for double the retail price, and have no way of getting my money back. FML

#20184120
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12272) - you deserved it (38957)

On 11/29/2012 at 4:12pm - misc - by faen (man) - Norway (Sogn og Fjordane)

Today, I went to a restaurant with my boyfriend. After dessert, he went to the bathroom so I quickly called the waiter over and paid the bill, thinking it was a nice gesture. When he returned, he broke up with me for "emasculating" him. FML

#20180957
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27288) - you deserved it (4367)

On 11/27/2012 at 6:36am - love - by Clementine (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my boyfriend dumped me by throwing my stuff out of his place, and accusing me of cheating while yelling, "Cheater, cheater! Pumpkin eater!" When I tried explaining that I have no clue what he's talking about, he started exclaiming, "Liar, liar! Pants on fire!" FML

#20180296
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27665) - you deserved it (3270)

On 11/26/2012 at 8:41pm - love - by imnotacheateryouimmaturefuck (woman) - United States (California)

Today, two of my friends condemned me for being "narrow-minded", because I couldn't help but laugh at the thought that someone would believe mermaids actually exist. FML

#20185421
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20562) - you deserved it (4875)

On 11/30/2012 at 2:29pm - misc - by so pray to ariel about it, dipshits (woman) - United Kingdom (Edinburgh, City of)

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex when the condom broke. He told me to go put a tampon in to "soak up the kids". How did he graduate? FML

#20186465
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46369) - you deserved it (7077)

On 12/01/2012 at 9:54am - intimacy - by me. - United States

Today, it's our third anniversary. After a candlelit dinner and a midnight boat ride, my wife turned down sex, because "it's too cliché." FML

#20179174
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37492) - you deserved it (3521)

On 11/26/2012 at 12:45am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I followed my neighbor's advice and sprayed Sprite on my Christmas tree because it will "make it live longer." I just came downstairs to find my Christmas tree covered in ants. FML

#20186141
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7466) - you deserved it (40861)

On 12/01/2012 at 1:01am - misc - by Chuffy - United States (Colorado)

Today, my girlfriend confronted me for forgetting to take the trash out. At some point during the argument, I tried to calm her down, and the words "I should of" escaped my lips. She spent the next ten minutes calling me stupid and laughing at how my grammar goes to hell when I'm distressed. FML

#20185423
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20679) - you deserved it (4699)

On 11/30/2012 at 2:30pm - love - by Gus (man) - Canada (British Columbia)



Maïté Verjux's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Auntie Bernie delivers in 2016
  • Greetings my young friends! It's 2016 and I'm late. No, I'm not pregnant, I'm way too old for that sort of thing, even though I've been trying a lot recently (hey there Didier, you randy rascal…

Friday 5 February 2016

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: