Submit your FML story

  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick :
Categories :
Man or woman?
Email notification?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Sunday 25 November 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I took a picture of myself wearing a whipped cream bra with cherry nipples, captioned, "I hope you enjoyed your dinner, now how about some dessert???" I meant to send it to my fiancé. I sent it by mistake to my dad. FML

#20176010
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11604) - you deserved it (28630)

On 11/24/2012 at 12:38am - intimacy - by Whipped Cream - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my room-mates were inspired by a TV show to make a "douchebag jar", into which we have to put money every time we say something obnoxious. It seems like I can't open my mouth without having to cough up £10. FML

#20176638
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4937) - you deserved it (14881)

On 11/24/2012 at 1:41pm - misc - by kay51 (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I realized I'd put on my shirt on inside out, so I went to the bathroom stalls to fix it. As I was taking it off, I accidentally dropped it in the toilet. FML

#20169668
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21407) - you deserved it (3604)

On 11/19/2012 at 4:08pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I had just had a shower, when I noticed that the mix of my shower gel and deodorant smelled like Lynx Dark Temptation. I was happy, as this is my favourite men's deodorant, until I realised I was happily sniffing my own boobs because they smelled like my ex-boyfriend. FML

#20181084
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12825) - you deserved it (3351)

On 11/27/2012 at 10:35am - love - by ToxxicAngel (woman) - United Kingdom (Monmouthshire)

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was walking through a crosswalk when a lady in a car looked at me with a horrified expression and then hit her door locks repeatedly. FML

#20176506
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17083) - you deserved it (1744)

On 11/24/2012 at 11:35am - misc - by lobstercola - Canada (Alberta)

Today, a shopper approached me at Target and said, "So are you just gonna stand there to look pretty and do nothing around here?" I ignored his comment, until he got so upset that he wanted to speak to my manager. It would have been understandable if I actually worked there. FML

#20177780
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19718) - you deserved it (1206)

On 11/25/2012 at 4:07am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend got into the Christmas cheer while giving me a hand job, smashing my nuts with her palm in time to her humming of Jingle Bells. FML

#20188363
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16052) - you deserved it (2440)

On 12/02/2012 at 6:39pm - intimacy - by fineididntwantkidsanyway (man) - Australia (South Australia)

Today, I was messing around with my wife. I grabbed her boobs and said, "Honk honk". Unbeknownst to me, my daughter saw it. Now my 3-year-old girl runs around honking everyone. Even her grandparents. FML

#20172916
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8778) - you deserved it (22131)

On 11/21/2012 at 8:20pm - kids - by piemasterzim (man) - Canada

Today, it's our third anniversary. After a candlelit dinner and a midnight boat ride, my wife turned down sex, because "it's too cliché." FML

#20179174
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23375) - you deserved it (1919)

On 11/26/2012 at 12:45am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I found out that the woman from My Strange Addiction who can't stop picking her scabs is married. I've been single for two years and I don't even pick my nose. FML

#20179069
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14286) - you deserved it (2477)

On 11/25/2012 at 11:39pm - love - by Sam (man) - United States (Utah)

Today, I was playing with my four year old cousin. He had a toy whale and said, "Shark!" I corrected him and told him it was a whale. He picked it up, threw it at my face, and yelled, "SHAAARK!" FML

#20176364
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12431) - you deserved it (4719)

On 11/24/2012 at 8:59am - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my husband ran a nice warm bubble bath with extra bubbles. I undressed and slid down into the tub only to have the most ungodly pain go up my backside. Turns out he knocked his razor into the water when he added the bubbles. I now have two butt cracks. FML

#20181043
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20850) - you deserved it (941)

On 11/27/2012 at 9:32am - misc - by Cracky - United States (Maryland)

Today, I came home from the hospital diagnosed with high blood pressure. It's caused by stress. My wife had a very long talk with my son about it. All the kid has been doing for the past 2 hours is scream at his Playstation. I'd rather be at the hospital. FML

#20188739
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13137) - you deserved it (1869)

On 12/02/2012 at 11:03pm - kids - by Nick (man) - United States (Nevada)



Allison Myres Perry & Jim Perry 's illustrated FML

Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Break that FML
  • Hello everybody! It's great to be back to present you with a new artist. Well, two artists actually. We don't often publish artists that work as a team, and today is all the more interesting because we're…

Wednesday 15 May 2013

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on:

© 2008-2013 by