Saturday 24 November 2012 
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Today, I was walking through a crosswalk when a lady in a car looked at me with a horrified expression and then hit her door locks repeatedly. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17082) - you deserved it (1744)
On 11/24/2012 at 11:35am - misc - by lobstercola - Canada (Alberta)
Today, a shopper approached me at Target and said, "So are you just gonna stand there to look pretty and do nothing around here?" I ignored his comment, until he got so upset that he wanted to speak to my manager. It would have been understandable if I actually worked there. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19719) - you deserved it (1206)
On 11/25/2012 at 4:07am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, I was messing around with my wife. I grabbed her boobs and said, "Honk honk". Unbeknownst to me, my daughter saw it. Now my 3-year-old girl runs around honking everyone. Even her grandparents. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8778) - you deserved it (22130)
On 11/21/2012 at 8:20pm - kids - by piemasterzim (man) - Canada
Today, it's our third anniversary. After a candlelit dinner and a midnight boat ride, my wife turned down sex, because "it's too cliché." FML
I agree, your life sucks (23361) - you deserved it (1919)
On 11/26/2012 at 12:45am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States
Today, I found out that the woman from My Strange Addiction who can't stop picking her scabs is married. I've been single for two years and I don't even pick my nose. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14282) - you deserved it (2477)
On 11/25/2012 at 11:39pm - love - by Sam (man) - United States (Utah)
Today, I was playing with my four year old cousin. He had a toy whale and said, "Shark!" I corrected him and told him it was a whale. He picked it up, threw it at my face, and yelled, "SHAAARK!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (12422) - you deserved it (4717)
On 11/24/2012 at 8:59am - kids - by Anonymous - United States
Today, my husband ran a nice warm bubble bath with extra bubbles. I undressed and slid down into the tub only to have the most ungodly pain go up my backside. Turns out he knocked his razor into the water when he added the bubbles. I now have two butt cracks. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20848) - you deserved it (940)
On 11/27/2012 at 9:32am - misc - by Cracky - United States (Maryland)
Today, I had my wisdom teeth taken out. I vaguely remember telling the doctor that I'm a virgin. Several times. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16601) - you deserved it (1617)
On 11/19/2012 at 1:21am - health - by NOIDIDNOT (woman) - United States (Arizona)
Today, I went out and bought a copy of Black Ops 2. I got home and opened the case, only to see the game disk was missing. When I went back to the store to complain, the guy at the desk accused me of trying to pull an old scam on him. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17314) - you deserved it (1471)
On 11/23/2012 at 12:20pm - money - by FUCK A FUCKING DUCK (man) - Bahamas (New Providence)
Today, I played paintball with a bunch of friends. By the end of the day, my girlfriend and I were the only people left on the field. She shot me mercilessly, and I screamed like a little girl. 30 people watched, 4 people filmed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7753) - you deserved it (16617)
Today, drunk at a party, I leaned through a window to throw up. I was outside. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5575) - you deserved it (17382) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 11/28/2012 at 1:20am - health - by kise - Sent from mobile version
Today, I was going to give my baby daughter an empty Pringles tin to play with on the floor. I saw some crumbs at the bottom, so I emptied the can in my mouth before I gave it to her. I crunched hard and spat them out, realizing my boyfriend had just cut his toenails into the can. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24432) - you deserved it (6472)
On 11/29/2012 at 10:00pm - misc - by lizzard0416 - Canada (Alberta)
Today, a customer at the Walmart I work at had a hissy fit and began throwing merchandise everywhere, including at my face, because we are Canadian and don't have a show called "Extreme Couponing" for "devoted shoppers" like her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13454) - you deserved it (932)
On 11/27/2012 at 6:46pm - work - by ohgodwhy - Canada (Ontario)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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