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Saturday 24 November 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, trying to be kinky while giving my boyfriend a blow job, I whipped him with my ponytail. He was thrilled, until I accidentally head-butted his dick. He curled up into a ball and wouldn't let me touch him again. FML

#20170605
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13303) - you deserved it (31467)

On 11/20/2012 at 3:43am - intimacy - by kinkicali (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I have a final for my precalculus class. After hours of studying this week, I felt pretty optimistic. Until I got to class and realized that I'd forgotten my calculator. FML

#20172402
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21160) - you deserved it (6610)

On 11/21/2012 at 1:16pm - misc - by anonymous - United States (Arizona)

Today my boyfriend and my best friend had a very lengthy, detailed conversation about Lord of the Rings and the Hobbit, of which I know nothing about. Once they stopped, I looked at him and smiled, and he responded with, "Why can't you be more like her?" FML

#20183421
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26524) - you deserved it (7945)

On 11/28/2012 at 11:33pm - love - by JStein (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my boyfriend went down on me for the first time. He definitely killed the mood when, while down there, he started saying, "Nomnomnomnom." FML

#20169456
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33138) - you deserved it (4956)

On 11/19/2012 at 12:46pm - intimacy - by wow babe - United States (Maryland)

Today, my step-mom threw out some of the "boxes of junk" in my room, because apparently, I'm a pack rat. I guess she and everyone else in my family won't be receiving those Christmas presents. FML

#20177886
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27994) - you deserved it (1484)

On 11/25/2012 at 8:28am - money - by WritingWrongs - United States

Today, I played paintball with a bunch of friends. By the end of the day, my girlfriend and I were the only people left on the field. She shot me mercilessly, and I screamed like a little girl. 30 people watched, 4 people filmed. FML

#20179414
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9915) - you deserved it (20781)

On 11/26/2012 at 5:26am - misc - by Z (man) - Australia

Today, I was sitting on a train, doing homework for my programming class, when a man sat in the seat next to me. He must have been a programmer too, because he spent the next few hours staring at my screen and laughing whenever I made a mistake. FML

#20169793
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22825) - you deserved it (2086)

On 11/19/2012 at 5:37pm - misc - by Trinity (woman) - Czech Republic (Hlavni mesto Praha)

Today, I decided to be responsible and call a cab to take my drunk ass home from the bar. As I climbed into the cab, I was quickly pulled back out and had the shit beaten out of me by a group of drunk guys who thought they needed the ride more. The police soon arrived and arrested us all. FML

#20180075
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25030) - you deserved it (2341)

On 11/26/2012 at 6:11pm - misc - by ronboy - United States (Ohio)

Today, my girlfriend of 6 months yelled at me for not comforting her while she was crying because her ex got a new girlfriend, and "it's just not fair." FML

#20169074
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29130) - you deserved it (2205)

On 11/19/2012 at 2:13am - love - by they've been broken up for a year. - United States (Texas)

Today, I caught the train into the city. Halfway there some kids hopped on smelling of marijuana and alcohol. Their topic of discussion? How much pubic hair they had. FML

#20183521
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20557) - you deserved it (2852)

On 11/29/2012 at 12:40am - kids - by fabs1171 - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was going to give my baby daughter an empty Pringles tin to play with on the floor. I saw some crumbs at the bottom, so I emptied the can in my mouth before I gave it to her. I crunched hard and spat them out, realizing my boyfriend had just cut his toenails into the can. FML

#20184636
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30977) - you deserved it (8797)

On 11/29/2012 at 10:00pm - misc - by lizzard0416 - Canada (Alberta)

Today, after almost four years of having avoided her due to her hatred of my husband, my mother invited us both to a family dinner. My husband wanted to give her another chance, so we went. Less than an hour after arriving, I caught her hocking a loogie and spitting it into our food. FML

#20182910
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24865) - you deserved it (1562)

On 11/28/2012 at 6:04pm - love - by some things never change (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my girlfriend accused me of cheating, because I tipped our waitress at dinner. FML

#20186136
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25887) - you deserved it (2275)

On 12/01/2012 at 12:59am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Missouri)



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