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Saturday 24 November 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my "friend" thought it'd be absolutely hilarious to use my phone to text my girlfriend, bragging that I'd found a new "slampiece" and that she's "fukcin dumpd". Now I'm single, her dad keeps making threatening calls to me, and nobody will even listen to my side of the story. FML

#20175626
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27056) - you deserved it (3070)

On 11/23/2012 at 7:38pm - love - by jakeson12 - United Kingdom (Dundee City)

Today, I went to a restaurant with my boyfriend. After dessert, he went to the bathroom so I quickly called the waiter over and paid the bill, thinking it was a nice gesture. When he returned, he broke up with me for "emasculating" him. FML

#20180957
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24174) - you deserved it (4060)

On 11/27/2012 at 6:36am - love - by Clementine (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I came home to my mother-in-law wearing the gold chain which I usually keep in a hidden drawer. I searched my drawer only to find out my chain was missing. I asked my mother-in-law if she took it and she keeps denying the fact that she stole it from me. My husband is on her side. FML

#20183636
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25273) - you deserved it (1469)

On 11/29/2012 at 3:01am - misc - by elizabeth - United States (Nevada)

Today, trying to be kinky while giving my boyfriend a blow job, I whipped him with my ponytail. He was thrilled, until I accidentally head-butted his dick. He curled up into a ball and wouldn't let me touch him again. FML

#20170605
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13366) - you deserved it (31573)

On 11/20/2012 at 3:43am - intimacy - by kinkicali (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I had my wisdom teeth taken out. I vaguely remember telling the doctor that I'm a virgin. Several times. FML

#20169028
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22691) - you deserved it (2430)

On 11/19/2012 at 1:21am - health - by NOIDIDNOT (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today my boyfriend and my best friend had a very lengthy, detailed conversation about Lord of the Rings and the Hobbit, of which I know nothing about. Once they stopped, I looked at him and smiled, and he responded with, "Why can't you be more like her?" FML

#20183421
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26626) - you deserved it (7956)

On 11/28/2012 at 11:33pm - love - by JStein (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I have a final for my precalculus class. After hours of studying this week, I felt pretty optimistic. Until I got to class and realized that I'd forgotten my calculator. FML

#20172402
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21252) - you deserved it (6624)

On 11/21/2012 at 1:16pm - misc - by anonymous - United States (Arizona)

Today, my boyfriend went down on me for the first time. He definitely killed the mood when, while down there, he started saying, "Nomnomnomnom." FML

#20169456
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34296) - you deserved it (5067)

On 11/19/2012 at 12:46pm - intimacy - by wow babe - United States (Maryland)

Today, my step-mom threw out some of the "boxes of junk" in my room, because apparently, I'm a pack rat. I guess she and everyone else in my family won't be receiving those Christmas presents. FML

#20177886
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28741) - you deserved it (1525)

On 11/25/2012 at 8:28am - money - by WritingWrongs - United States

Today, I was sitting on a train, doing homework for my programming class, when a man sat in the seat next to me. He must have been a programmer too, because he spent the next few hours staring at my screen and laughing whenever I made a mistake. FML

#20169793
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22915) - you deserved it (2095)

On 11/19/2012 at 5:37pm - misc - by Trinity (woman) - Czech Republic (Hlavni mesto Praha)

Today, I decided to be responsible and call a cab to take my drunk ass home from the bar. As I climbed into the cab, I was quickly pulled back out and had the shit beaten out of me by a group of drunk guys who thought they needed the ride more. The police soon arrived and arrested us all. FML

#20180075
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25116) - you deserved it (2343)

On 11/26/2012 at 6:11pm - misc - by ronboy - United States (Ohio)

Today, my girlfriend of 6 months yelled at me for not comforting her while she was crying because her ex got a new girlfriend, and "it's just not fair." FML

#20169074
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29245) - you deserved it (2216)

On 11/19/2012 at 2:13am - love - by they've been broken up for a year. - United States (Texas)

Today, my girlfriend accused me of cheating, because I tipped our waitress at dinner. FML

#20186136
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25977) - you deserved it (2281)

On 12/01/2012 at 12:59am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Missouri)



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