Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Friday 23 November 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, in a state of extreme boredom, I decided to dress mah 6-month-old son in girl's clothes. As he sat in mah lap in a frilly dress, an as I was placing a very pink an lacy bow on his head, mah mother-in-law unexpectedly walked in. She now think I'm mentally unstable an should be in therapy. FML

Today, I asked ma boyfriend if e'd rater play te new Assassin's Creed game or ave a nigt of sex wit me . He started crying from indecision . FML

#20176354
249 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34515) - you deserved it (10967)

On 11/24/2012 at 8:54am - intimacy - by ladylol (woman) - United Kingdom (Northamptonshire)

TODAY I WOKE UP TO MY BALLS COVERD IN ICY HOT A BIG OLD "FUCK YOU" NOTE FROM MY GRLFRIEND AND MY DOOR SLAMMING SHUT. I'M STARTING TO GET THE DISTINCT IMPRESSION I SHOULDN'T HAVE MADE THAT OFF-HAND REMARK LAST NIGHT ABOUT HER PMSING AFTER SHE RAGE-QUIT A GAME OF MARIO KART. FML

#20178502
248 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12957) - you deserved it (25239)

On 11/25/2012 at 5:38pm - love - by dumping time (man) - United Kingdom (Kent)

Today, tis guy I've been dating fir a few monts freaked out and called is mom crying, cuz I told im I migt be pregnant wit is baby. He is 27. I didn't even take a pregnancy test yet. FML

#20171052
240 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11534) - you deserved it (27381)

On 11/20/2012 at 2:45pm - misc - by babyblues (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, it's the frst day of mah two-week stay at mah in-laws house. They forbid drinking, smoking, cursing, an anything even remotely sexual. I smuggled in mah quietest toy to keep me sane in this holy house. If only I hadn't forgotten to bring the battery pack too. FML

#20184036
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20194) - you deserved it (26839)

On 11/29/2012 at 2:42pm - intimacy - by comeuntome (woman) - United States

TODAY, IN BREAK FROM TRADITION, I PROPOSED TO MAH BOYFRIEND!! WE WERE AT A JAPANESE PAGODA!! WATER WAS TRICKLING EVERYWHERE; THE MOMENT WAS PERFECT!! WHILE I WAS ON MAH KNEE, AFTER POURING MAH HEART OUT, HE LOOKED WISTFULLY OUT OVER THE WATER AND SAID, "SO, I WAS THINKING PIZZA TONIGHT." FML

#20173702
217 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28019) - you deserved it (5899)

On 11/22/2012 at 11:13am - love - by but I tried anal and everything (woman) - United States (Iowa)

Today , I was enjoying a nice bath , when one of mah cats jumped up on the rim and started purring. I thought it was sweet , until mah other cat ran in and body-slammed the first into the tub with me. Being a conscientiou cat owner , I hadn't de-clawed them. FML

#20181270
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22159) - you deserved it (6024)

On 11/27/2012 at 2:52pm - animals - by Neutered (man) - United States (Alaska)

Today, the car in front of me in the drop-off area at mah son's school parkd, and the driver got out . I basically leand on mah horn and gave her every dirty look in the book . She said nothing but stard at me as she opend the back of her van to unload her child'sheelchair . I'm an asshole . real FML

#20172167
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8909) - you deserved it (67159)

On 11/21/2012 at 9:03am - kids - by AHole (woman) - United States (North Dakota)

Today, I realized that the comforting, unique scent of my mother in my childhood was actually the smell of the marijuana she smokes . FML

#20184714
204 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28908) - you deserved it (3115)

On 11/29/2012 at 10:35pm - misc - by childhoodupinsmoke (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today.. . while at school.. . a bra fell out of my coat . After the initial shock.. . people startd congratulating me on finally getting a grlfriend . I didn't have the heart to tell them it was my mom's . FML

#20175088
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25072) - you deserved it (3430)

On 11/23/2012 at 10:56am - misc - by Tymer (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today , mah boyfriend broke up with me because I'm now about 15 pounds overwieght. When I called him a hypocrite as he's over 40 pounds overwieght , he said that his wieght didn't matter because "it's the grl's job to look hot." FML

#20171204
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31192) - you deserved it (4643)

On 11/20/2012 at 4:57pm - health - by thinner than you (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today mah cat peed on mah bra !! I didn't realize this until after I arrived at work 4 mah 12-hour shift !! Now I'm trying to wash mah bra out in the sink an stuff paper towels down it to soak up the moisture !! Only 10 more hours to go an the smell of cat pee is still lingering !! FML

#20185014
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21274) - you deserved it (4157)

On 11/30/2012 at 3:33am - work - by onlyslightly (woman) - United States

TADAY I CAUGHT MAH TEENAGE DAUGHTER SMOKING AND TRIED CALMLY EXPLAINING TO HER THAT IT'S QUITE BAD FIR HER HEALTH. SHE REPLIED WITH "IT DOESN'T HARM U IF YOU'RE UNDER 20." FML

#20174862
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27576) - you deserved it (4362)

On 11/23/2012 at 4:07am - kids - by RyanJarmanForPresident (woman) - United States



Sophie Marie's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Sophie Marie's illustrated FML
  • Hi there Friday, great to see you again! What are we going to talk about this week? It's the same question that most people ask themselves while strolling into their usual bar on a Friday night, on their way to…

Friday 27 March 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: