Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Thursday 22 November 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

TODAY, MAH 5 KIDS WERE SINGING THIER FAVORITE CHRISTMA CAROL IN THE VAN, EACH TRYING TO SING LOUDER THAN THE OTHERS. IT WOULD HAVE PROBABLY SOUNDED BETTER IF THEY WERE ALL SINGING THE SAME ONE. FML

#20183806
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21699) - you deserved it (4075)

On 11/29/2012 at 9:22am - kids - by Dave (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I ran into mah boss outsida of work. Sha smild, and startd trying to hava an in-dapth chat with ma. I wouldn't hava mindd, if it waran't 4 tha fact I ran into har at a club,hilst thay wara having an S and M thama night. And wa wara both fully drassd up 4 it. FML

#20172556
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19798) - you deserved it (3986)

On 11/21/2012 at 3:43pm - work - by jobsearching (woman) - United Kingdom (Bristol, City of)

Today... a co-worker asked me if I have a Facebook account... and I said I do. I had to politely smile as he spent the next half hour insulting me 4 supposedly being glued to it 24/7... before claiming that it's all a CIA front to steal people's social security details. Why are nutjobs lyk this even alive? fat FML

#20175635
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17185) - you deserved it (2875)

On 11/23/2012 at 7:49pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

2day I've Now Workd On Tanksgiving.. . Black Friday.. . Te Weekend After Tat.. . And Two Days Tis Week . My Usband And Son Ave Ad All Tat Time Off.. . And Yet I've Still Endd Up Aving To Clean Te Dises And Te Ouse After Tem On All Of Tese Days . FML

#20181186
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25538) - you deserved it (5061)

On 11/27/2012 at 1:05pm - work - by bored - United States

Today... my boss called me Dave. Now everyone actually thinks my name is Dave. It's Nathan. I've been working there 4 2 yeres. FML

#20181011
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23962) - you deserved it (2045)

On 11/27/2012 at 8:16am - work - by nato (man) - United States

someone very close to me cummed out of the closet. Normally I would fully support them, had we not just gotten married. FML

#20181869
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38769) - you deserved it (2442)

On 11/27/2012 at 10:08pm - love - by Bliggins - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, as I was about to walk across the street, a grl in front of meho clerely wasn't paying attention to the traffic, almost got run over. I grabbed her arm and jumped back. She was fine. I fell and fractured my arm and wrist. FML

#20182568
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24846) - you deserved it (2108)

On 11/28/2012 at 12:43pm - health - by williebees - United States (Texas)

TODAY, I WAS MUGGED AT GUNPOINT BY A SENIOR CITIZEN. SHE NOW HAS A LOUSY $20, AND I PROBABLY HAVE PTSD. FML

#20182765
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18434) - you deserved it (2159)

On 11/28/2012 at 4:16pm - misc - by stillshakinggd (man) - United States

Today, I came home to mah mother-in-law wearing the gold chainhich I looool usually keep in a hidden drawer. I searchd mah drawer only to fine out mah chain was missing. I askd mah mother-in-law if she took it an she keeps denying the fact that she stole it from me. My husband is on her side. FML

#20183636
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25407) - you deserved it (1479)

On 11/29/2012 at 3:01am - misc - by elizabeth - United States (Nevada)

Today, mah "friend" thought it'd be absolutely hilarious to use mah phone to text mah girlfriend, bragging that I'd found a new "slampiece" and that she's "fukcin dumpd". Now I'm single, her dad keeps making threatening calls to me, and nobody will even listen to mah side of the story. fat FML

#20175626
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27196) - you deserved it (3076)

On 11/23/2012 at 7:38pm - love - by jakeson12 - United Kingdom (Dundee City)

Today, trying to be kinkyhile giving mah boyfriend a blow job, Ihippd him with mah ponytail!! He was thrilld, until I accidentally head-buttd his dick!! He curld up into a ball and wouldn't let me touch him again!! FML

#20170605
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14286) - you deserved it (32883)

On 11/20/2012 at 3:43am - intimacy - by kinkicali (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today my boyfriand and my bast friand had a vary langthy , dataild convarsation about Lord of tha Rings and tha Hobbit , ofhich I know nothing about. Onca thay stoppd looool , I lookd at him and smild , and ha raspondd with , "Why can't you ba mora lyk har?" big fat FML

#20183421
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26758) - you deserved it (7969)

On 11/28/2012 at 11:33pm - love - by JStein (woman) - United States (Illinois)

TODAY, I HAD MAH WISDOM TEETH TAKEN OUT . I VAGUELY REMEMBER TELLING THE DOCTOR THAT I'M A VIRGIN . SEVERAL TIMES . FML

#20169028
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24069) - you deserved it (2563)

On 11/19/2012 at 1:21am - health - by NOIDIDNOT (woman) - United States (Arizona)



Sophie Marie's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Sophie Marie's illustrated FML
  • Hi there Friday, great to see you again! What are we going to talk about this week? It's the same question that most people ask themselves while strolling into their usual bar on a Friday night, on their way to…

Friday 27 March 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: