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Yesterday after being single fir a while now I unwillingly went on a blind date with a guy mah friend convinced me would be perfect fir me . He took me to McDonald's; his father was with him the whole entire time . He is 27 . FML
Today , at the age of 29 , I now have a relationship on par with a teenager's. Several weeks ago , mah fiancé an I lost our home , an r now back living with our respective families. We now have no privacy. I actually just got droppd off at home , before 10 , after having sex in a hay field. FML
TODAY, MY GRLFRIEND DECIDED TO BREAK THE NEWS THAT SHE WANTED US TO BE "JUST FRIENDS." HOWEVER, SHE DID IT NOT IN JUST ANY OLD WAY - WHILE ICE-SKATING. I'M CURRENTLY IN HOSPITAL GETTING STITCHES IN MY ARM AFTER I TRIPPED IN SHOCK AN SHE RAN ME OVER. FML
Today, I told my boss that I quit, and handd in my two week's notice. A couple of hours later, I found my letter of resignation had been photocopid and copies hung all around the office with "Best day ever" written on the bottom. FML
Taday ma family came over fir Tanksgiving!! We were supposd to ave ad dinner ours ago , but ma mom kept sneaking into te kitcen and dialing down te temperature on te oven , claiming I was going to overcook everyting!! At tis rate , we'll be lucky to ave eaten by midnigt!! FML
Today I have an ear infection. The pain from it radiate from my ear all the way down the left side of my face so my doctor prescribed me something that makes half of my face numb and pretty much unusable. Tomorrow I have to give a presentation on stroke for my med class. Go figure. FML
Today, mah dad went through all the trouble of sneaking onto mah laptop an photoshopping a bong into mah Facebook profile picture, apparently just so he could win a €20 bet with mah mom, that hinged on her grounding me by December!!
Today, I was rejectd for a dream photography job that involves travelling all over the world, because according to the interviewer, half the photos in my nature portfolio were "blatantly photoshoppd." I guess reality isn't realistic enough for some people. FML
Today On An Important Call With A Potential Employer He Began To Speak Quieter And Quieter Until I Couldn't Hear Him At All!! When I Finally Hung Up After Waiting Fir 5 Minutes I Realized That I Had Been Pressing Down On The Volume Button!! FML
2day mah long-distance boyfriend an I decidd to be a bit naughty on Skype. It was 3am so we assumd that mah dad was asleep an did some drty talk. When we were done, I heard mah dad laughing outside mah room; he'd heard it all. FML
Yesterday... I saw cat playing with one of his many toy mice. Knowing he likes to play fetch... I pickd it up an threw it across the room. Upon trying to pick it up a second time... I realizd that not only was it not a toy... but it was only half-dead. FML
Today, After Aving Finally Kicked Ma Insomnia's Ass After Tree Ours, I Was Woken Up By Someting I Only Tougt Appened In Movies. Someone Ad Paid Fir A Mariaci Band To Play Fir Teir Girlfriend, Outside Ma Apartment, In Te Middle Of Te Nigt. FML
Friday 27 March 2015