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Tuesday 20 November 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I decided to be responsible and call a cab to take my drunk ass home from the bar. As I climbed into the cab, I was quickly pulled back out and had the shit beaten out of me by a group of drunk guys who thought they needed the ride more. The police soon arrived and arrested us all. FML

#20180075
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25116) - you deserved it (2343)

On 11/26/2012 at 6:11pm - misc - by ronboy - United States (Ohio)

Today, my girlfriend of 6 months yelled at me for not comforting her while she was crying because her ex got a new girlfriend, and "it's just not fair." FML

#20169074
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29245) - you deserved it (2216)

On 11/19/2012 at 2:13am - love - by they've been broken up for a year. - United States (Texas)

Today, I realized I'd put on my shirt on inside out, so I went to the bathroom stalls to fix it. As I was taking it off, I accidentally dropped it in the toilet. FML

#20169668
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27583) - you deserved it (5294)

On 11/19/2012 at 4:08pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was so bored with my job at McDonald's that I actually hoped someone would come in and make a huge mess for me to clean. No one did. FML

#20173284
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19027) - you deserved it (3582)

On 11/22/2012 at 12:44am - work - by Ophelia - United States (New Mexico)

Today, my room-mates were inspired by a TV show to make a "douchebag jar", into which we have to put money every time we say something obnoxious. It seems like I can't open my mouth without having to cough up £10. FML

#20176638
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6770) - you deserved it (22587)

On 11/24/2012 at 1:41pm - misc - by kay51 (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, my boss called me Dave. Now everyone actually thinks my name is Dave. It's Nathan. I've been working there for 2 years. FML

#20181011
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23051) - you deserved it (1950)

On 11/27/2012 at 8:16am - work - by nato (man) - United States

Today, I was playing with my four year old cousin. He had a toy whale and said, "Shark!" I corrected him and told him it was a whale. He picked it up, threw it at my face, and yelled, "SHAAARK!" FML

#20176364
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18415) - you deserved it (6874)

On 11/24/2012 at 8:59am - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my girlfriend came over to a family game night. Halfway through a game of Klingon Monopoly, my drunk parents started arguing because apparently, while my dad was in jail, he cheated on my mom with a Klingon whore. I doubt my girlfriend will ever visit again. FML

#20176987
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21491) - you deserved it (2243)

On 11/24/2012 at 6:11pm - love - by Eganstein (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my husband ran a nice warm bubble bath with extra bubbles. I undressed and slid down into the tub only to have the most ungodly pain go up my backside. Turns out he knocked his razor into the water when he added the bubbles. I now have two butt cracks. FML

#20181043
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28203) - you deserved it (1610)

On 11/27/2012 at 9:32am - misc - by Cracky - United States (Maryland)

Today, I was messing around with my wife. I grabbed her boobs and said, "Honk honk". Unbeknownst to me, my daughter saw it. Now my 3-year-old girl runs around honking everyone. Even her grandparents. FML

#20172916
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11267) - you deserved it (27338)

On 11/21/2012 at 8:20pm - kids - by piemasterzim (man) - Canada

Today, I played paintball with a bunch of friends. By the end of the day, my girlfriend and I were the only people left on the field. She shot me mercilessly, and I screamed like a little girl. 30 people watched, 4 people filmed. FML

#20179414
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10312) - you deserved it (21544)

On 11/26/2012 at 5:26am - misc - by Z (man) - Australia

Today, I found out that the woman from My Strange Addiction who can't stop picking her scabs is married. I've been single for two years and I don't even pick my nose. FML

#20179069
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19124) - you deserved it (2979)

On 11/25/2012 at 11:39pm - love - by Sam (man) - United States (Utah)

Today, my girlfriend looked me straight in the eye and said, "I know about the sea turtles." I asked her what she was talking about and she said, "Next time, shut up or I'll show you pain." I have no idea what she's talking about. FML

#20170012
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20786) - you deserved it (1944)

On 11/19/2012 at 8:15pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States



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