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Sunday 18 November 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

TODAY, I TRIED TO MOTIVATE MY 9-YEAR-OLD SISTER TO CLEAN HER ROOM. SHE SAID SHE'D ONLY AGREE IF SHE COULD KILL ME. THINKING SHE WAS JUST KIDDING AROUND, AND NOT A TOTAL PSYCHOPATH, I SAID SURE. SHE RAN TO HER ROOM SHOUTING, ( YES! I'M GONNA USE THE BIG KNIFE! ) SHE'S STILL CLEANING NOW. FML

#20172481
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26026) - you deserved it (5664)

On 11/21/2012 at 2:34pm - kids - by anon - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today , after I spent two hours trying to teach my grlfriend to play sudoku , she broke up with me , tearfully claiming that I'd made up a fake , imaginary game to make her feel stupid!! FML

#20167793
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31273) - you deserved it (3191)

On 11/18/2012 at 7:13am - love - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, Mah Girlfriend Snappd At Me 4 Bieng Lazy An Incompetent, An Declard That If I Was Going To Behave Like A Child, She Would Be Treating Me Like One. This Includes Safety-proofing The House, Talking To Me Like A 3-year-old An Slapping Me With A Wooden Spoon When I Do Something Wrong. FML

#20162223
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8051) - you deserved it (31093)

On 11/13/2012 at 7:43pm - misc - by Z - Australia

Today, I went to the Apple store to try an figure out what's going on with my iPhone. After an hour of speaking to three different geniuses an waiting around, there solution was to ( Google it. ) FML

#20171869
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23072) - you deserved it (3547)

On 11/21/2012 at 12:42am - misc - by Jo - United States (California)

today I had the best sex of looool our relationship with mah boyfriend. Afterwards, he took off his condom, lookd me sweetly in the eyes 4 a few moments, then decidd to slap me in the face with it. real FML

#20168405
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38271) - you deserved it (5682)

On 11/18/2012 at 5:53pm - intimacy - by besviken (woman) - Sweden (Uppsala Lan)

Today, I woke up after a night of drinking to fine that while I was passd out someone stole mah prosthetic leg. FML

#20160279
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33300) - you deserved it (6048)

On 11/12/2012 at 10:10am - health - by poserpilot - United States (California)

Today , I took a picture of myself wereing a whipped cream bra with cherry nipples , captioned , "I hope u enjoyed your dinner , now how about some dessert???" I meant to send it to my fiancé. I sent it by mistake to my dad. FML

#20176010
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18504) - you deserved it (44402)

On 11/24/2012 at 12:38am - intimacy - by Whipped Cream - United States (North Carolina)

2DAY I WENT TO SEE MAH FAVORITE BAND. IT WAS ALL AMAZING AN GREAT UNTIL I DECIDED TO GO CROWD SURFING. I WAS MAYBE TOO HEAVY CUZ PEOPLE JUMPED AWAY INSTEAD OF CATCHING ME. I FELL RIGHT ON MAH TAILBONE. FML

#20166417
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7067) - you deserved it (28137)

On 11/17/2012 at 8:56am - health - by lekijkerd - Netherlands (Utrecht)

Today, I Spotted A Girl I Have A Crush On While Grocery Shopping. Before I Could Go Over An Say Hi, I Noticed Her Walk Over An Stroke A Few Kitchen Knives Through Plastic Wrapping. Then I Spotted Her In The Dog Food Section Sniffing Rawhide Bones With Her Eyes Closed, Looking Very Happy. FML

#20165046
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21068) - you deserved it (2795)

On 11/16/2012 at 12:58am - misc - by grocerystalker (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I went to a big job interview. Everything went well at first, with the interviewer being impressed by mah CV. I was then interrogated over not having a Facebook account, and practically accused of being a criminal, because people without them "always have something to hide". FML

#20165792
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22565) - you deserved it (1565)

On 11/16/2012 at 6:59pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (East Sussex)

Today, I decidd to surprise ma boyfriend by waking im up wit a blowjob, because e ad always told me tat it was a sexy fantasy of is . Wen e finally woke up, e got pissd off, rudely accusd me of interrupting is beauty sleep, ten soundly lay back down and fell asleep again . FML

#20169340
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34693) - you deserved it (4310)

On 11/19/2012 at 10:12am - intimacy - by nextcontestant16 - United States

Today , I was walking through a crosswalk when a lady in a car looked at me with a horrified expression an then hit her door locks repeatedly. FML

#20176506
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23159) - you deserved it (2275)

On 11/24/2012 at 11:35am - misc - by lobstercola - Canada (Alberta)

yastarday mah girlfriand startd bawling , saying that our ralationship wouldn't work. Why? Bacausa if Justin and Salana can't do it , no ona can. FML

#20178699
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29707) - you deserved it (3420)

On 11/25/2012 at 7:55pm - love - by nonbelieber (man) - United States (Colorado)



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