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Saturday 17 November 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I decided to go meet up with a guy that I met online for the first time. All he could talk about was how he expects me to "clean, cook, and submit" my body for sex at least twice a day when we get married. FML

#20173484
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25812) - you deserved it (5953)

On 11/22/2012 at 4:39am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I was at my girlfriend's house having dinner with her and her parents. I was casually playing footsie with my girlfriend under the table, until her mom stopped eating and said, "You know that's my foot, right?" FML

#20170839
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11500) - you deserved it (31578)

On 11/20/2012 at 10:50am - misc - by Brian (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I went out and bought a copy of Black Ops 2. I got home and opened the case, only to see the game disk was missing. When I went back to the store to complain, the guy at the desk accused me of trying to pull an old scam on him. FML

#20175155
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27178) - you deserved it (2691)

On 11/23/2012 at 12:20pm - money - by FUCK A FUCKING DUCK (man) - Bahamas (New Providence)

Today, I was looking at tattoos and fell in love with a really cool looking one, so I decided to get it. I later showed it to a friend who is a cop. He informed me that it is a gang tattoo. I think I just put a target on my ankle. FML

#20162265
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8326) - you deserved it (29670)

On 11/13/2012 at 8:03pm - misc - by scaredinnyc - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my dad asked me to send my mom a text since he was driving and I was in the passenger seat. I pulled up my mom's contact on his phone, and I found that my mom had recently sent my dad a picture of her jugs, along with the message, "We miss you." FML

#20164798
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30989) - you deserved it (2566)

On 11/15/2012 at 9:45pm - love - by Sexting Parents - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I had my wisdom teeth taken out. I vaguely remember telling the doctor that I'm a virgin. Several times. FML

#20169028
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26215) - you deserved it (2762)

On 11/19/2012 at 1:21am - health - by NOIDIDNOT (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, after clubbing with my girlfriend, we went to her place. She then threw up on the floor, and went to clean herself up. When she came back, she'd forgotten that she'd just thrown up. She blamed me for puking, and kicked me out. It was 4:00 am and a 3-hour walk home. FML

#20161591
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28461) - you deserved it (2794)

On 11/13/2012 at 7:02am - love - by Med (man) - Netherlands (Groningen)

Today, my dog climbed onto the dining room table to eat the cat's food. Then whined until I showed him how to get down. He does this every night. My dog is a genius. FML

#20171812
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19355) - you deserved it (4824)

On 11/21/2012 at 12:00am - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, I was messing around with my wife. I grabbed her boobs and said, "Honk honk". Unbeknownst to me, my daughter saw it. Now my 3-year-old girl runs around honking everyone. Even her grandparents. FML

#20172916
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13057) - you deserved it (30303)

On 11/21/2012 at 8:20pm - kids - by piemasterzim (man) - Canada

Today, I fell off my boyfriend's motorcycle. I had a few scrapes and bruises, and my boyfriend called for an ambulance as a precaution. The paramedics managed to drop me on my head. FML

#20177257
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28982) - you deserved it (2034)

On 11/24/2012 at 9:35pm - health - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I took a crowded train home. I was holding on to the rail when an old man started rubbing his crotch across my hand. I moved my hand but he moved too and kept doing it. When I moved my hand higher, he started licking it. I had to wait ten minutes for the next stop. FML

#20164794
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27285) - you deserved it (3116)

On 11/15/2012 at 9:40pm - misc - by needanewride - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my brother decided to join me on my first date. Not only did he answer the door with a bat, he also got inside the car and sat next to my date, pushing me to the back. He stayed the entire time, and walked me back to the house. My mom laughed and gave him $20. It was a dare. FML

Today, my boyfriend and I cleaned his parents' whole house while they were out, just to be nice. When they came home, they assumed we only did it because we'd made some huge mess that we needed to hide. I'm now banned from their house. FML

#20164583
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27618) - you deserved it (2319)

On 11/15/2012 at 6:34pm - love - by teea (woman) - Australia (Queensland)



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