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Saturday 17 November 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I found my childhood diary stashed in a box in the attic. I flipped to the last page and noticed a little note written by my now deceased father. It read, "Well son, this diary proves that you're a whiny asshole - Dad." Thanks Dad, from beyond the grave. FML

#20161095
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23645) - you deserved it (3973)

On 11/12/2012 at 9:47pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Vermont)

Today, my boyfriend and I had amazing make-up sex after a huge fight. Turns out he forgot to let me know it was actually break-up sex. FML

Today, I have an ear infection. The pain from it radiates from my ear all the way down the left side of my face, so my doctor prescribed me something that makes half of my face numb and pretty much unusable. Tomorrow, I have to give a presentation on strokes for my med class. Go figure. FML

#20170659
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22804) - you deserved it (1515)

On 11/20/2012 at 5:41am - health - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I found my sister's wedding book. Inside it was a list of potential grooms; she'd written down all of my ex-boyfriends. And my fiancé. We're getting married in three weeks. FML

#20162804
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21431) - you deserved it (1487)

On 11/14/2012 at 2:46am - love - by he's mine (woman) - United Kingdom (Hertford)

Today, I was rejected for a dream photography job that involves travelling all over the world, because according to the interviewer, half the photos in my nature portfolio were "blatantly photoshopped." I guess reality isn't realistic enough for some people. FML

#20175687
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24318) - you deserved it (1542)

On 11/23/2012 at 8:29pm - work - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my ex-girlfriend was supposed to pick up her things. I decided to take a nap. Thirty minutes later, I woke up with two police officers hammering on my door. They'd come to get my ex-girlfriend's things and said they were "watching me." That's the last time I date a cop's daughter. FML

#20170390
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21964) - you deserved it (2913)

On 11/20/2012 at 12:03am - love - by Chris (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was singing in the shower, when some suds from my shampoo fell into my mouth and down my throat. I retched and sputtered for about two minutes before finally throwing up. FML

#20166301
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17942) - you deserved it (6890)

On 11/17/2012 at 3:45am - health - by woman - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my long-distance boyfriend and I decided to be a bit naughty on Skype. It was 3am so we assumed that my dad was asleep and did some dirty talk. When we were done, I heard my dad laughing outside my room; he'd heard it all. FML

#20170222
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27933) - you deserved it (15298)

On 11/19/2012 at 10:19pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)

Today, I saw my cat playing with one of his many toy mice. Knowing he likes to play fetch, I picked it up and threw it across the room. Upon trying to pick it up a second time, I realized that not only was it not a toy, but it was only half-dead. FML

#20174725
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22768) - you deserved it (3141)

On 11/23/2012 at 1:17am - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, my mom came home drunk and yelled at me for 20 minutes for not feeding the cat. We don't have a cat. FML

#20164653
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22680) - you deserved it (1489)

On 11/15/2012 at 7:36pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, I went to Target with my dad, and he told me to get in the shopping cart. I thought he was being cool and wanted to push me around. He snorted and said he was thinking about crashing me into a car and suing the driver. FML

#20167613
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17284) - you deserved it (2051)

On 11/18/2012 at 2:04am - misc - by creys - United States

Today, I awoke in the midst of the night to find my half-naked dad drunkenly arguing with the microwave. FML

#20168543
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18684) - you deserved it (1497)

On 11/18/2012 at 7:47pm - misc - by mountains - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, knowing that I have been in a lot of stress lately, my friend tried to teach me how to meditate. Eventually, I ended up in a deeply relaxed state in which my mind was completely clear. When I snapped out of it, I realized I'd peed myself. FML

#20163308
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20587) - you deserved it (2996)

On 11/14/2012 at 4:55pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)



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