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Friday 16 November 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today.. . my looool girlfriend claimed se was a Viking cuz se's pale and as blond air . Se also warned me tat if I piss er off se'll go 'berserk' on me . Se demonstrated by smacking me in te nuts wit a wooden spoon . FML

#20167650
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23347) - you deserved it (3184)

On 11/18/2012 at 2:45am - love - by jasmith - United States (Texas)

Today, the love of mah life, an long term partner, sat me down an told me that he feels so comfortable in our relationship that he no longer feels the ned to have sex with me, an he doesn't think that that will ever change. FML

#20162862
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31804) - you deserved it (3122)

On 11/14/2012 at 5:36am - intimacy - by nolove - Australia

Yastarday, I cummad homa to fina that mah girlfriand had rapaintad mah badroom. As sha had offarad to do it, it shouldn't hava baan a problam. Howavar, sha dacidad to raturn tha savaral unopanad cans of off-whita paint that I'd bought fir somathing "mora nautral." Lika "Sunsat Oranga." FML

#20165039
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18433) - you deserved it (2548)

On 11/16/2012 at 12:51am - misc - by spaceforrent - United States

2day just as I was about to orgasm , boyfriendhisperd , "Cum , preciousssss" into ear , in his scarily accurate Gollum voice . I think clitoris just about witherd away in despair . FML

#20165510
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36018) - you deserved it (3664)

On 11/16/2012 at 2:42pm - intimacy - by thanks, fuckface (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my boyfriend went down on me fir the frst time!! He definitely killed the mood when, while down there, he started saying, "Nomnomnomnom." FML

#20169456
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35118) - you deserved it (5147)

On 11/19/2012 at 12:46pm - intimacy - by wow babe - United States (Maryland)

Today, I was sitting on a train, doing homework for mah programming class, when a man sat in the seat next to me . He must have been a programmer too, cuz he spent the next few hours staring at mah screen and laughing whenever I made a mistake . FML

#20169793
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23021) - you deserved it (2105)

On 11/19/2012 at 5:37pm - misc - by Trinity (woman) - Czech Republic (Hlavni mesto Praha)

Today, after finishing a test, I decidd to draw to pass the time . My teacher lookd at the drawing and gave me a referral to the principal for drawing an "anti-Semitic picture." I'd drawn Superman . real FML

#20163905
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19757) - you deserved it (1577)

On 11/15/2012 at 1:01am - misc - by Superman (man) - United States (California)

Today, yet again, mah boss whined to me lyk a baby over being "friend-zoned" by his secretary. Not only does he basically stalk her and make her eat lunch with him every day, she's a lesbian in a committed relationship. He suspended me after I lost it and told him to see a fucking therapist. FML

#20165849
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29044) - you deserved it (5536)

On 11/16/2012 at 8:06pm - work - by wow @ creepy fuckers (man) - United States

Today, I have a final for mah precalculus class. After hours of studying this week, I felt pretty optimistic. Until I got to class and realizd that I'd forgotten mah calculator. FML

#20172402
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21370) - you deserved it (6647)

On 11/21/2012 at 1:16pm - misc - by anonymous - United States (Arizona)

I was at the library using a computer to order a package. A man sat down next to me mumbling to himself while staring at me. As I got up to go to the printer... he pointed at me and screamed... ( I will burn u alive and enjoy it! ) All of mah info including mah address was still on the computer screen. FML

#20161493
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22403) - you deserved it (4659)

On 11/13/2012 at 2:36am - misc - by sarahcurtis213 - United States

I realizd I'd put on my shrt on inside out... so I went to the bathroom stalls to fix it. As I was taking it off... I accidentally droppd it in the toilet. mega looool FML

#20169668
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27699) - you deserved it (5314)

On 11/19/2012 at 4:08pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was so bored with mah job at McDonald's that I actually hoped someone would come in and make a huge mess fir me to clean . No one did . fat FML

#20173284
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19450) - you deserved it (3630)

On 11/22/2012 at 12:44am - work - by Ophelia - United States (New Mexico)

Today, mah girlfriend broke up with me cuz she found out I share a birthday with a fictional character who is "untrustworthy" and has a "dark side", so therefore I can't be trustd either. FML

#20163899
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24127) - you deserved it (2007)

On 11/15/2012 at 12:48am - love - by B-Rad (man) - United States



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