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Friday 16 November 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my boyfriend went down on me for the first time. He definitely killed the mood when, while down there, he started saying, "Nomnomnomnom." FML

#20169456
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33212) - you deserved it (4964)

On 11/19/2012 at 12:46pm - intimacy - by wow babe - United States (Maryland)

Today, I was sitting on a train, doing homework for my programming class, when a man sat in the seat next to me. He must have been a programmer too, because he spent the next few hours staring at my screen and laughing whenever I made a mistake. FML

#20169793
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22883) - you deserved it (2094)

On 11/19/2012 at 5:37pm - misc - by Trinity (woman) - Czech Republic (Hlavni mesto Praha)

Today, my girlfriend of 6 months yelled at me for not comforting her while she was crying because her ex got a new girlfriend, and "it's just not fair." FML

#20169074
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29206) - you deserved it (2211)

On 11/19/2012 at 2:13am - love - by they've been broken up for a year. - United States (Texas)

Today, after finishing a test, I decided to draw to pass the time. My teacher looked at the drawing and gave me a referral to the principal for drawing an "anti-Semitic picture." I'd drawn Superman. FML

#20163905
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18976) - you deserved it (1511)

On 11/15/2012 at 1:01am - misc - by Superman (man) - United States (California)

Today, yet again, my boss whined to me like a baby over being "friend-zoned" by his secretary. Not only does he basically stalk her and make her eat lunch with him every day, she's a lesbian in a committed relationship. He suspended me after I lost it and told him to see a fucking therapist. FML

#20165849
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27442) - you deserved it (5330)

On 11/16/2012 at 8:06pm - work - by wow @ creepy fuckers (man) - United States

Today, I was at the library using a computer to order a package. A man sat down next to me mumbling to himself while staring at me. As I got up to go to the printer, he pointed at me and screamed, "I will burn you alive and enjoy it!" All of my info including my address was still on the computer screen. FML

#20161493
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22241) - you deserved it (4642)

On 11/13/2012 at 2:36am - misc - by sarahcurtis213 - United States

Today, I realized I'd put on my shirt on inside out, so I went to the bathroom stalls to fix it. As I was taking it off, I accidentally dropped it in the toilet. FML

#20169668
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27552) - you deserved it (5292)

On 11/19/2012 at 4:08pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was so bored with my job at McDonald's that I actually hoped someone would come in and make a huge mess for me to clean. No one did. FML

#20173284
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19005) - you deserved it (3578)

On 11/22/2012 at 12:44am - work - by Ophelia - United States (New Mexico)

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because she found out I share a birthday with a fictional character who is "untrustworthy" and has a "dark side", so therefore I can't be trusted either. FML

#20163899
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23977) - you deserved it (1995)

On 11/15/2012 at 12:48am - love - by B-Rad (man) - United States

Today, I was messing around with my wife. I grabbed her boobs and said, "Honk honk". Unbeknownst to me, my daughter saw it. Now my 3-year-old girl runs around honking everyone. Even her grandparents. FML

#20172916
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11254) - you deserved it (27317)

On 11/21/2012 at 8:20pm - kids - by piemasterzim (man) - Canada

Today, after clubbing with my girlfriend, we went to her place. She then threw up on the floor, and went to clean herself up. When she came back, she'd forgotten that she'd just thrown up. She blamed me for puking, and kicked me out. It was 4:00 am and a 3-hour walk home. FML

#20161591
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24965) - you deserved it (2504)

On 11/13/2012 at 7:02am - love - by Med (man) - Netherlands (Groningen)

Today, I have a tooth infection that's spread to my jaw and ear. It hurts so badly that I'm practically in tears. Today's also the day I found out I'm allergic to the medication I was prescribed. Everything hurts, I'm covered in hives, and I can't stop throwing up. FML

#20165827
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31167) - you deserved it (1771)

On 11/16/2012 at 7:30pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Croatia (Primorsko-Goranska)

Today, my boyfriend of three years, whom I recently got engaged to, asked me to take a photo of my mother's boobs while she was sleeping so that he could see what mine would look like when I got older. FML

#20160220
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29897) - you deserved it (3462)

On 11/12/2012 at 8:29am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)



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