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Monday 12 November 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my girlfriend of 6 months yelled at me for not comforting her while she was crying because her ex got a new girlfriend, and "it's just not fair." FML

#20169074
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33066) - you deserved it (2504)

On 11/19/2012 at 2:13am - love - by they've been broken up for a year. - United States (Texas)

Today, I decided to surprise my boyfriend by waking him up with a blowjob, because he had always told me that it was a sexy fantasy of his. When he finally woke up, he got pissed off, rudely accused me of interrupting his beauty sleep, then soundly lay back down and fell asleep again. FML

#20169340
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38778) - you deserved it (4775)

On 11/19/2012 at 10:12am - intimacy - by nextcontestant16 - United States

Today, while sitting in a waiting room, a man assured me "The safety's on" after he handed his kid his BB gun. A minute later, I practically had a hole in my foot. FML

#20160435
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23263) - you deserved it (2802)

On 11/12/2012 at 1:12pm - health - by Emily - United States (California)

Today, I went to see my favorite band. It was all amazing and great until I decided to go crowd surfing. I was maybe too heavy because people jumped away instead of catching me. I fell right on my tailbone. FML

#20166417
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8061) - you deserved it (30741)

On 11/17/2012 at 8:56am - health - by lekijkerd - Netherlands (Utrecht)

Today, a homeless man asked me for some money to eat. He ate the five dollars I gave him. FML

#20161582
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29103) - you deserved it (4149)

On 11/13/2012 at 6:34am - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, excited that I finally got a place of my own, I invited my boyfriend over for a sexy sleep over. He told me his mom doesn't want him sleeping over. He's 21 years old. FML

#20162787
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35288) - you deserved it (4478)

On 11/14/2012 at 2:18am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I was grocery shopping. When I turned around I noticed a group of teens passing by laughing. I didn't think anything of it until I got to my cart. The losers had left a pack of Slim Fast in my cart. I'm pregnant. FML

#20167758
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31066) - you deserved it (2196)

On 11/18/2012 at 6:00am - health - by depressedpreggo (woman) - United States (Nevada)

Today, I witnessed a robbery as a teenager ran out of a Walgreens with stolen goods in his hands. The manager was running after him. Trying to be helpful, I pulled forward to block the thief from getting away. The cops showed up and arrested me for hitting a pedestrian. FML

#20169022
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27852) - you deserved it (4928)

On 11/19/2012 at 1:18am - misc - by ausmill12 (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my girlfriend claimed she was a Viking because she's pale and has blond hair. She also warned me that if I piss her off she'll go 'berserk' on me. She demonstrated by smacking me in the nuts with a wooden spoon. FML

#20167650
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25248) - you deserved it (3369)

On 11/18/2012 at 2:45am - love - by jasmith - United States (Texas)

Today, I was sitting on a train, doing homework for my programming class, when a man sat in the seat next to me. He must have been a programmer too, because he spent the next few hours staring at my screen and laughing whenever I made a mistake. FML

#20169793
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26449) - you deserved it (2415)

On 11/19/2012 at 5:37pm - misc - by Trinity (woman) - Czech Republic (Hlavni mesto Praha)

Today, my dad put an onion in my room, telling me spirits won't haunt me and that I won't get sick. He thinks a vegetable will protect me. FML

#20163512
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20696) - you deserved it (2588)

On 11/14/2012 at 7:48pm - health - by duhasiangirl - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I walked into my house with my friend, only to discover my husband half-naked and yelling at the TV screen over a soccer game. By half-naked, I mean he was only wearing a shirt. FML

#20169569
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24690) - you deserved it (2626)

On 11/19/2012 at 2:44pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, just as I was about to orgasm, my boyfriend whispered, "Cum, my preciousssss" into my ear, in his scarily accurate Gollum voice. I think my clitoris just about withered away in despair. FML

#20165510
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38694) - you deserved it (3920)

On 11/16/2012 at 2:42pm - intimacy - by thanks, fuckface (woman) - United States (Colorado)



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