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Sunday 11 November 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I learned that last week, the UPS man gave my package to my neighbor for safekeeping. It was over five-hundred dollars' worth of merchandise. My neighbor left for Canada on Saturday. FML

#20160454
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21551) - you deserved it (1544)

On 11/12/2012 at 1:40pm - money - by siciliano12594 - United States (New York)

Today, I was working at the checkout of a nearly empty store, so I picked up an empty box, closed my eyes, and slow-danced with it to the 80s love ballad playing on the radio. I don't know what's worse, dancing with a box, or opening my eyes to see ten or so wary customers waiting to be served. FML

#20161561
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7002) - you deserved it (29052)

On 11/13/2012 at 5:23am - work - by foreveralone (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, after the fourth time telling my roommate I'm highly allergic to her scented products, I came back to find all 6 of our wall outlets using Glade plug-ins. They were set to high. FML

Today, my girlfriend's mother came over for a few hours. After she left I went to grab a drink, only to find that three bottles of expensive liquor were missing from our liquor cabinet. FML

#20148667
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19801) - you deserved it (1541)

On 11/05/2012 at 9:02am - misc - by liquorless (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boss told me to cut my long hair. After coming back to work with a clean cut hairstyle, he apparently thought I was the new guy, and said I was going to be trained by "The long-haired girly-looking idiot." FML

#20163115
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23096) - you deserved it (3263)

On 11/14/2012 at 1:10pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, while working at the coffee shop, I had to empty the garbage cans. One of the bags gave way, and all the half-finished cups of coffee spilled all over my uniform. Most customers' orders cost more than I make per hour. FML

#20166731
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18118) - you deserved it (1885)

On 11/17/2012 at 1:35pm - work - by overpriced coffee shop worker - United States (California)

Today, I overheard my mom talking on the phone with my sister about how much they hate my fiancé. My wedding is in two weeks and my family has been pretending to like my future husband for three years. FML

#20148569
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19892) - you deserved it (1685)

On 11/05/2012 at 6:36am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I was told I look like a Simpson. I don't have blond hair, or any of the features of them. So I asked which one. I was told Homer because we both could use Weight Watchers and an education. FML

#20155893
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17693) - you deserved it (3714)

On 11/09/2012 at 1:57am - misc - by Kyle - United States (Georgia)

Today, we found out that the beloved "Uncle Jimmy" from my early childhood was really the man my mother was cheating on my dad with. FML

#20156411
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23565) - you deserved it (1323)

On 11/09/2012 at 3:53pm - misc - by Anonymous - New Zealand (Gisborne)

Today, I arrived home after a hard day's work to see my 12-year-old sister had greased up my 8-year-old brother with butter and olive oil, and was attempting to slide him down the wooden floorboards in the hallway. FML

#20161557
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19604) - you deserved it (1948)

On 11/13/2012 at 5:00am - kids - by Anonymous - New Zealand (Wellington)

Today, I went to see a movie with three of my friends, and I was sharing popcorn with one of them. Halfway through the movie, my friend asked me why I wasn't eating our popcorn. I then realised I'd been taking popcorn from the man sitting next to me. FML

#20160393
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25227) - you deserved it (7544)

On 11/12/2012 at 12:27pm - misc - by mm (woman) - United Kingdom (Warrington)

Today, I woke up and looked over to see the "beautiful girl" I slept with last night. Turns out it was the obsessive girl from my class with a man-face I had avoided all semester. In conclusion, beer goggles are very real and very powerful. FML

#20149916
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11045) - you deserved it (40785)

On 11/06/2012 at 12:15am - intimacy - by coolguy (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, after working out and feeling really confident, I entered a mixed wrestling competition. My first match was against a woman who was over a foot taller than me. She managed to easily lift me over her head and toss me out of the ring within seconds. Confidence: gone. FML

#20160946
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15863) - you deserved it (6676)

On 11/12/2012 at 8:17pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)



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