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Saturday 10 November 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I decided to buy a meal for a homeless man who was being shunned at an intersection. When I went to hand it to him, I realized it was my dad, wearing a tattered old shirt and pretending to be homeless to make some money. FML

#20159880
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32103) - you deserved it (1970)

On 11/12/2012 at 12:12am - misc - by BulldogHoops - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I learned that last week, the UPS man gave my package to my neighbor for safekeeping. It was over five-hundred dollars' worth of merchandise. My neighbor left for Canada on Saturday. FML

#20160454
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23161) - you deserved it (1666)

On 11/12/2012 at 1:40pm - money - by siciliano12594 - United States (New York)

Today, I was working at the checkout of a nearly empty store, so I picked up an empty box, closed my eyes, and slow-danced with it to the 80s love ballad playing on the radio. I don't know what's worse, dancing with a box, or opening my eyes to see ten or so wary customers waiting to be served. FML

#20161561
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7071) - you deserved it (29300)

On 11/13/2012 at 5:23am - work - by foreveralone (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, after the fourth time telling my roommate I'm highly allergic to her scented products, I came back to find all 6 of our wall outlets using Glade plug-ins. They were set to high. FML

Today, I was told I look like a Simpson. I don't have blond hair, or any of the features of them. So I asked which one. I was told Homer because we both could use Weight Watchers and an education. FML

#20155893
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18320) - you deserved it (3800)

On 11/09/2012 at 1:57am - misc - by Kyle - United States (Georgia)

Today, I arrived home after a hard day's work to see my 12-year-old sister had greased up my 8-year-old brother with butter and olive oil, and was attempting to slide him down the wooden floorboards in the hallway. FML

#20161557
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20510) - you deserved it (2026)

On 11/13/2012 at 5:00am - kids - by Anonymous - New Zealand (Wellington)

Today, my boss told me to cut my long hair. After coming back to work with a clean cut hairstyle, he apparently thought I was the new guy, and said I was going to be trained by "The long-haired girly-looking idiot." FML

#20163115
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25542) - you deserved it (3538)

On 11/14/2012 at 1:10pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend's mother came over for a few hours. After she left I went to grab a drink, only to find that three bottles of expensive liquor were missing from our liquor cabinet. FML

#20148667
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20508) - you deserved it (1603)

On 11/05/2012 at 9:02am - misc - by liquorless (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, we found out that the beloved "Uncle Jimmy" from my early childhood was really the man my mother was cheating on my dad with. FML

#20156411
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25478) - you deserved it (1450)

On 11/09/2012 at 3:53pm - misc - by Anonymous - New Zealand (Gisborne)

Today, I went to see a movie with three of my friends, and I was sharing popcorn with one of them. Halfway through the movie, my friend asked me why I wasn't eating our popcorn. I then realised I'd been taking popcorn from the man sitting next to me. FML

#20160393
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25643) - you deserved it (7619)

On 11/12/2012 at 12:27pm - misc - by mm (woman) - United Kingdom (Warrington)

Today, I woke up and looked over to see the "beautiful girl" I slept with last night. Turns out it was the obsessive girl from my class with a man-face I had avoided all semester. In conclusion, beer goggles are very real and very powerful. FML

#20149916
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11185) - you deserved it (41117)

On 11/06/2012 at 12:15am - intimacy - by coolguy (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I'm so broke, I asked my parents if they'd pay for me to go to the eye doctor and consider it my Christmas present. FML

#20149436
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22038) - you deserved it (1960)

On 11/05/2012 at 8:01pm - money - by EB - United States

Today, I was playing Apples to Apples with my girlfriend and a few others. The card that was drawn was labeled "pathetic". Among other cards that were laid down in attempts to be similar to "pathetic" was my girlfriend's card. She won with a create-a-card labeled "my sex life". FML

#20157215
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21482) - you deserved it (4559)

On 11/10/2012 at 6:02am - love - by anonymous - United States



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