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Monday 5 November 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I woke up and looked over to see the "beautiful girl" I slept with last night. Turns out it was the obsessive girl from my class with a man-face I had avoided all semester. In conclusion, beer goggles are very real and very powerful. FML

#20149916
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11003) - you deserved it (40723)

On 11/06/2012 at 12:15am - intimacy - by coolguy (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, after working out and feeling really confident, I entered a mixed wrestling competition. My first match was against a woman who was over a foot taller than me. She managed to easily lift me over her head and toss me out of the ring within seconds. Confidence: gone. FML

#20160946
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15834) - you deserved it (6673)

On 11/12/2012 at 8:17pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was playing Apples to Apples with my girlfriend and a few others. The card that was drawn was labeled "pathetic". Among other cards that were laid down in attempts to be similar to "pathetic" was my girlfriend's card. She won with a create-a-card labeled "my sex life". FML

#20157215
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19105) - you deserved it (4265)

On 11/10/2012 at 6:02am - love - by anonymous - United States

Today, I decided to buy a meal for a homeless man who was being shunned at an intersection. When I went to hand it to him, I realized it was my dad, wearing a tattered old shirt and pretending to be homeless to make some money. FML

#20159880
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31701) - you deserved it (1946)

On 11/12/2012 at 12:12am - misc - by BulldogHoops - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I had dinner with my grandparents. At the table, my grandfather openly complained about how hard it is for him to get out of their hot tub. Not because of his prosthetic leg, but because his balls somehow "get stuck". I really didn't need to know that. FML

#20159093
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16939) - you deserved it (1307)

On 11/11/2012 at 3:27pm - misc - by Miki13 - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my mother-in-law moved in because she has a hip problem. I don't know what's worse, her constant complaining and slob like tendencies, or the eight cats she brought along with her. FML

#20154544
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20499) - you deserved it (1677)

On 11/08/2012 at 12:43am - misc - by David (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I found my childhood diary stashed in a box in the attic. I flipped to the last page and noticed a little note written by my now deceased father. It read, "Well son, this diary proves that you're a whiny asshole - Dad." Thanks Dad, from beyond the grave. FML

#20161095
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22421) - you deserved it (3842)

On 11/12/2012 at 9:47pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Vermont)

Today, I'm so broke, I asked my parents if they'd pay for me to go to the eye doctor and consider it my Christmas present. FML

#20149436
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21702) - you deserved it (1937)

On 11/05/2012 at 8:01pm - money - by EB - United States

Today, I paid a surprise visit to my parents, after having moved out for university last year. My room had been stripped bare and all the family photos featuring me were missing from the wall. When I asked why, my mom asked me in return why I was asking stupid questions. FML

#20156480
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20500) - you deserved it (1776)

On 11/09/2012 at 5:03pm - kids - by jan420 (man) - Norway (Ostfold)

Today, after dealing with infidelity in my marriage, I found myself looking for advice. This led me to the comments section of a tabloid article talking about Kristen Stewart and Rob Pattinson. I'm a 30-year-old man taking marriage advice from a bunch of vampire-obsessed tweens. FML

#20156173
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16765) - you deserved it (5140)

On 11/09/2012 at 11:07am - love - by loser (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I threw up after drinking a smoothie my mother made me. She then called me "ungrateful" and "immature" for not liking what she spent a long time making for me. I later found out that not only did she use expired yogurt, it was also a mango smoothie, which I'm allergic to. FML

#20153910
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22860) - you deserved it (1349)

On 11/07/2012 at 6:28pm - health - by anon - United States

Today, my husband surprised me by cooking a romantic dinner. I asked him why the sudden gesture. His response? "The cable was out." FML

#20154549
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17673) - you deserved it (3978)

On 11/08/2012 at 12:49am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my grandmother said to me, "You look just like your mother did at your age. Except you're fatter of course." FML

#20148363
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19321) - you deserved it (4242)

On 11/05/2012 at 12:39am - misc - by poro123 - United Kingdom



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