Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Sunday 4 November 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, at work I was trying to be nice and give a customer a discount because she was having trouble finding money to pay for her food. Everybody behind her then demanded a discount as well. FML

#20147029
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12168) - you deserved it (24434)

On 11/04/2012 at 9:16am - work - by cassiebee - United States (Utah)

Today, I was woken up by my husband attempting to breastfeed off my lactating nipples. FML

#20139029
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21997) - you deserved it (2773)

On 10/29/2012 at 6:22pm - misc - by Indianagirl94 (woman) - United States

Today, I was at a barbeque with my family, my boyfriend, and some mutual acquaintances. Someone jokingly called my boyfriend a pussy, to which he loudly replied, "I guess I am what I eat!" My mother was sitting across from us. FML

#20141794
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24255) - you deserved it (3505)

On 10/31/2012 at 4:24pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was eating a fancy dinner with my girlfriend at a restaurant. Suddenly, my ex-girlfriend, who was seemingly still angry after our breakup 2 years ago, saw me through the window. She walked in, took my spaghetti dinner, shoved it in my face, and stormed out. FML

#20148447
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25083) - you deserved it (2980)

On 11/05/2012 at 2:02am - love - by sad (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, after I gave birth to our first child, my husband looked at the doctor and seriously asked, "When do you circumcise the baby?" We had a baby girl. FML

#20138333
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23197) - you deserved it (2210)

On 10/29/2012 at 6:32am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend of a year broke up with me by saying, "It's not you, it's me. I have a terrible taste in women." FML

#20140004
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26710) - you deserved it (2799)

On 10/30/2012 at 9:27am - love - by LonelyMe -

Today, I texted my boyfriend saying that I couldn't wait for him to get home and see my costume, and that I had dressed up as a naked lady. He texted back asking if I could dress up as someone who was making dinner instead. FML

#20142541
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30512) - you deserved it (6479)

On 11/01/2012 at 3:54am - intimacy - by okay._. - United States (California)

Today, I had to buy a new vacuum cleaner. My previous one stopped working, because apparently, my boyfriend has been using it to suck up our puppy's shit from the floor. FML

#20155036
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21149) - you deserved it (2061)

On 11/08/2012 at 2:03pm - love - by 99Problemsandfml - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my newly ex-fiancé, the father of my 5-year-old child, moved out of state with no warning. I just spent my last $500 paying off his car, and the rent is due tomorrow. FML

#20144316
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21938) - you deserved it (5310)

On 11/02/2012 at 12:35pm - love - by lilithfaye (woman) - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I went to a furniture store. We split up for a bit, and after a while I went to find him. A salesman noticed I seemed to be looking around for him and said, "Oh, your son is upstairs." We're the same age. FML

#20155909
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22116) - you deserved it (1900)

On 11/09/2012 at 2:26am - misc - by slypher25aussie (man) - United States (California)

Today, I decided to delete my Facebook account. My older sister repeatedly called me in tears asking why I'm cutting her out of my life. It seems I can't get rid of social media without my family taking offence. FML

#20145432
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19510) - you deserved it (1806)

On 11/03/2012 at 6:02am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I noticed my husband was acting moody, and I asked him what was wrong. He replied that he didn't know, so trying to lighten the mood, I facetiously said, "It's 'cause you're stuck with me, isn't it?" He nodded, trundled off, and hasn't shown his face since. FML

#20156759
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21110) - you deserved it (3779)

On 11/09/2012 at 9:09pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, to help me get over my crippling social anxiety, my therapist encouraged me to sing in front of a crowd, since I actually have a fine singing voice. I ended up fainting onstage, mid-song. FML

#20146765
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19971) - you deserved it (1841)

On 11/04/2012 at 2:28am - misc - by Chuffy (woman) - United States (Colorado)



FML's blog

  • FML on vacation #1: Getting there
  • A lot of people will spout off the tired old cliché that the destination isn't as important as the journey itself. Well, what if you're on your way to the Playboy Mansion then?…

Tuesday 22 July 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: