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Sunday 4 November 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I broke up with my girlfriend, saying I had a lot on my plate. She responded by throwing an empty plate at my windshield. FML

#20138170
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10796) - you deserved it (25642)

On 10/29/2012 at 1:46am - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, after a year of living with my boyfriend at our new place, he told me that he wants to sell our house and live in a trailer, so he can be closer to his mom. FML

#20155172
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20939) - you deserved it (2228)

On 11/08/2012 at 4:22pm - misc - by Anonimo (woman) - Italy (Sardegna)

Today, after being a germaphobe for almost ten years and refusing to go out to restaurants because of it, I finally had the courage to face my fear, and went to dinner with my family. After three bites into my salad, I found a dead bug in it. FML

#20150517
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30479) - you deserved it (3139)

On 11/06/2012 at 1:34pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, while I was sitting on the toilet, my toddler swung the door open. We just bought the house, and we have no curtains. Our new neighbor, who I haven't met, was mowing her yard. I stood half-naked to close the door, and our eyes met. I froze. She waved. FML

#20154142
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22098) - you deserved it (2322)

On 11/07/2012 at 8:41pm - misc - by ohcrap (man) - United States

Today, I looked up the side effects of the antidepressants I've recently started taking. Inability to orgasm is one of them. I can either not be depressed, or I can have an orgasm. FML

#20148960
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31646) - you deserved it (4029)

On 11/05/2012 at 2:25pm - intimacy - by HappinessOrOrgasms (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, before leaving my house, I OCD-checked all of my doors 16 times to make sure that they were locked. When I got home, my house had been broken into. Turns out I accidentally unlocked my front door when trying to lock it for the last time. This is why I have OCD. FML

#20141026
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23354) - you deserved it (9786)

On 10/30/2012 at 11:02pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I was at a barbeque with my family, my boyfriend, and some mutual acquaintances. Someone jokingly called my boyfriend a pussy, to which he loudly replied, "I guess I am what I eat!" My mother was sitting across from us. FML

#20141794
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24703) - you deserved it (3534)

On 10/31/2012 at 4:24pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my crazy bitch of a boss fired me for inappropriate conduct. Apparently my "fake Nazi accent" is "offensive to our Jewish coworkers." I'm German. I have no way to change the way I speak, or to pay this month's bills. FML

#20155705
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33920) - you deserved it (1844)

On 11/08/2012 at 11:02pm - work - by Screwed - United States (Maryland)

Today, my husband and I found out that our dog was pregnant. He now refuses to have kids with me for at least two years, because he wants to raise the puppies without any "distractions". FML

#20140254
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28178) - you deserved it (3968)

On 10/30/2012 at 2:45pm - animals - by Lilly - United States

Today, my boyfriend surprised me by showing up at my work and proposing to me. It was sweet until an angry customer bitched us out for "wasting her time." FML

#20141262
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27446) - you deserved it (3309)

On 10/31/2012 at 2:18am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I got my wisdom teeth removed. My girlfriend had agreed to come over after and make sure I was okay, so I called her, saying I was done. She told me she'd made new plans, and to "just suck on a tampon, you pussy". FML

#20156617
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21409) - you deserved it (2800)

On 11/09/2012 at 7:16pm - health - by dating a fking cnt (man) - Canada

Today, I texted my boyfriend saying that I couldn't wait for him to get home and see my costume, and that I had dressed up as a naked lady. He texted back asking if I could dress up as someone who was making dinner instead. FML

#20142541
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30907) - you deserved it (6527)

On 11/01/2012 at 3:54am - intimacy - by okay._. - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend of two years proposed to me. It would have been great if he weren't drunk with a naked girl next to him. FML

#20146861
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28919) - you deserved it (2040)

On 11/04/2012 at 4:50am - love - by bigbum - Australia (Victoria)



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