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Sunday 4 November 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I went down on my girlfriend for the first time. I thought it was all going really well, until I looked up a minute or two in, only to be greeted by a stone-cold death glare and the words, "You really are an idiot, aren't you?" FML

#20144510
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33792) - you deserved it (7972)

On 11/02/2012 at 3:46pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Netherlands (Zuid-Holland)

Today, my husband came home drunk off his ass at 2am. He started crying on my shoulder because he couldn't go home with some beautiful woman who hit on him, because sadly for him, he's married to me. FML

#20157197
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32174) - you deserved it (2826)

On 11/10/2012 at 5:15am - love - by Helen - United States (Arkansas)

Today, while studying liver pathology and highlighting important lines in my textbook, I realized that I could count the number of words I hadn't highlighted on one hand, over the last six pages. FML

#20143160
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18178) - you deserved it (8385)

On 11/01/2012 at 5:18pm - misc - by ThisisMedSchool - United States (Tennessee)

Today, my dad watched the news and decided to start preparing for Hurricane Sandy by buying $300 worth of long-life and canned food. We live in Australia. FML

#20138384
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30509) - you deserved it (1990)

On 10/29/2012 at 8:03am - misc - by StormSeason (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, whilst in an argument with my girlfriend, I told her she was the craziest bitch I'd ever met. She responded with "Challenge accepted." I'm now terrified. FML

#20139786
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10368) - you deserved it (40914)

On 10/30/2012 at 2:08am - love - by Andrew (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, my manager made me stay at work for an extra four hours, making me miss an urgent specialist appointment I'd scheduled months ago. Why? Because her neighbor's dog was having puppies, and she wanted to go home early and see them. FML

#20143987
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23607) - you deserved it (2497)

On 11/02/2012 at 1:53am - work - by whytetrash - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I realized that I'm a terrible human being. For the first time in my life, I gave some change to a homeless guy, but only so he'd get out of my face long enough for me to watch two other bums beating the crap out of each other over a sandwich. FML

#20146253
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6552) - you deserved it (31792)

On 11/03/2012 at 8:37pm - misc - by justcomesnaturally (woman) - United States (Vermont)

Today, after finally falling asleep, my boyfriend woke me up and got extremely mad at me. My offense? My pillow was touching his side of the bed. After yelling at me, he's now sleeping on the couch, and I'm lying in bed wide awake. FML

#20158574
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23948) - you deserved it (2828)

On 11/11/2012 at 5:26am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I finally met the girl I've been talking to on phone for a while and found her charming in person as well. There's just one problem: she has more facial hair than I do. FML

#20159578
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21173) - you deserved it (6192)

On 11/11/2012 at 9:16pm - love - by x (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I went to the hospital in labor expecting a baby boy. I ended the day with identical twins, a baffled doctor, and a husband convinced that our sons can clone themselves. FML

#20139353
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27279) - you deserved it (2519)

On 10/29/2012 at 9:30pm - kids - by CutestBoysEver (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I woke up with a vague memory of buying something last night while drunk. According to my credit card summary I made a $270 purchase from a home shopping channel. I guess in 5-7 days I'll find out what it was. FML

#20147165
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10129) - you deserved it (27998)

On 11/04/2012 at 11:37am - money - by fnfantastic - United States (Indiana)

Today, my best friend got engaged to the guy she's been seeing for five years. He also happens to be the man I've been in love with for eight. As she was giving me the details, she nonchalantly gave me her reason for accepting the proposal: "Why the hell not, there's always divorce." FML

#20149647
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27134) - you deserved it (4067)

On 11/05/2012 at 9:48pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, my hair straightener broke. My husband suggested putting electrical tape on it because it was heat proof. I did and started straightening my hair. The supposed heat proof tape melted and got stuck in my hair. FML

#20145539
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9330) - you deserved it (32092)

On 11/03/2012 at 9:50am - misc - by Anonymous - United States



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