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Sunday 4 November 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, we got new seats in class today. The guy placed next to me, turned, looked me dead in the eye, and said, "The balls are the warmest place on the body" while his hands were in his pants. I'm stuck next to him for the rest of the semester. FML

#20140711
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22697) - you deserved it (1666)

On 10/30/2012 at 8:29pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I started my new job as the only IT tech for my office. My first task: untangling the hundred mice the previous tech tied together for "fun". FML

#20150513
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22294) - you deserved it (1612)

On 11/06/2012 at 1:29pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I noticed my husband was acting moody, and I asked him what was wrong. He replied that he didn't know, so trying to lighten the mood, I facetiously said, "It's 'cause you're stuck with me, isn't it?" He nodded, trundled off, and hasn't shown his face since. FML

#20156759
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23010) - you deserved it (4012)

On 11/09/2012 at 9:09pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I had surgery on my arm. My mom has recently had the same surgery and my dad is having his first rib removed and won't be able to move his arm. My family combined now has three functioning arms. FML

#20142449
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24170) - you deserved it (1686)

On 11/01/2012 at 1:08am - health - by Anonymous - United States (Arizona)

Today, my boyfriend and I went to a furniture store. We split up for a bit, and after a while I went to find him. A salesman noticed I seemed to be looking around for him and said, "Oh, your son is upstairs." We're the same age. FML

#20155909
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24782) - you deserved it (2108)

On 11/09/2012 at 2:26am - misc - by slypher25aussie (man) - United States (California)

Today, I overheard my mom talking on the phone with my sister about how much they hate my fiancé. My wedding is in two weeks and my family has been pretending to like my future husband for three years. FML

#20148569
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21874) - you deserved it (1840)

On 11/05/2012 at 6:36am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my girlfriend's mother came over for a few hours. After she left I went to grab a drink, only to find that three bottles of expensive liquor were missing from our liquor cabinet. FML

#20148667
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22517) - you deserved it (1760)

On 11/05/2012 at 9:02am - misc - by liquorless (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was told I look like a Simpson. I don't have blond hair, or any of the features of them. So I asked which one. I was told Homer because we both could use Weight Watchers and an education. FML

#20155893
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20004) - you deserved it (4011)

On 11/09/2012 at 1:57am - misc - by Kyle - United States (Georgia)

Today, while giving a speech at work, I started sneezing. After what seemed to be the last sneeze, I went on talking. Apparently it wasn't, and I blew out my eardrum. FML

#20141826
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23005) - you deserved it (1548)

On 10/31/2012 at 5:03pm - work - by SoSoRachel - United States (Illinois)

Today, I decided to delete my Facebook account. My older sister repeatedly called me in tears asking why I'm cutting her out of my life. It seems I can't get rid of social media without my family taking offence. FML

#20145432
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21702) - you deserved it (1995)

On 11/03/2012 at 6:02am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I flew back home from out of state. When I got back to my house, my bed, furniture, and TV were gone. My girlfriend changed her number and I have no idea where she lives now. FML

#20153491
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25046) - you deserved it (1933)

On 11/07/2012 at 1:28pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, after weeks of wondering if my cat has a fetish for licking my bed covers, I finally witnessed him licking up an ant off of the covers. Turns out that my bed is infested with ants. FML

#20138030
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23684) - you deserved it (4907)

On 10/29/2012 at 12:23am - animals - by lifelike (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I worked up the courage to give a guy my number. I wrote it down on a piece of paper, tore it in half and gave it to him. Later, I noticed I'd given him the wrong, blank half. FML

#20142410
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20004) - you deserved it (10369)

On 11/01/2012 at 12:24am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Mexico)



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