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Sunday 4 November 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my crazy bitch of a boss fired me for inappropriate conduct. Apparently my "fake Nazi accent" is "offensive to our Jewish coworkers." I'm German. I have no way to change the way I speak, or to pay this month's bills. FML

#20155705
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32442) - you deserved it (1738)

On 11/08/2012 at 11:02pm - work - by Screwed - United States (Maryland)

Today, while giving a speech at work, I started sneezing. After what seemed to be the last sneeze, I went on talking. Apparently it wasn't, and I blew out my eardrum. FML

#20141826
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22986) - you deserved it (1547)

On 10/31/2012 at 5:03pm - work - by SoSoRachel - United States (Illinois)

Today, at work I was trying to be nice and give a customer a discount because she was having trouble finding money to pay for her food. Everybody behind her then demanded a discount as well. FML

#20147029
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13119) - you deserved it (26065)

On 11/04/2012 at 9:16am - work - by cassiebee - United States (Utah)

Today, I looked up the side effects of the antidepressants I've recently started taking. Inability to orgasm is one of them. I can either not be depressed, or I can have an orgasm. FML

#20148960
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28858) - you deserved it (3743)

On 11/05/2012 at 2:25pm - intimacy - by HappinessOrOrgasms (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, my friend showed me a video of me in a nightclub. I was holding two Skittles vodka shots and shouting, "Red and green, merry Kwanzaa!" The shots were yellow and purple. I can't remember that night at all. FML

Today, I was eating a fancy dinner with my girlfriend at a restaurant. Suddenly, my ex-girlfriend, who was seemingly still angry after our breakup 2 years ago, saw me through the window. She walked in, took my spaghetti dinner, shoved it in my face, and stormed out. FML

#20148447
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25456) - you deserved it (3015)

On 11/05/2012 at 2:02am - love - by sad (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, my boyfriend of a year broke up with me by saying, "It's not you, it's me. I have a terrible taste in women." FML

#20140004
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28273) - you deserved it (2939)

On 10/30/2012 at 9:27am - love - by LonelyMe -

Today, my newly ex-fiancé, the father of my 5-year-old child, moved out of state with no warning. I just spent my last $500 paying off his car, and the rent is due tomorrow. FML

#20144316
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24497) - you deserved it (5670)

On 11/02/2012 at 12:35pm - love - by lilithfaye (woman) - United States

Today, I had to buy a new vacuum cleaner. My previous one stopped working, because apparently, my boyfriend has been using it to suck up our puppy's shit from the floor. FML

#20155036
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22904) - you deserved it (2196)

On 11/08/2012 at 2:03pm - love - by 99Problemsandfml - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boyfriend and I went to a furniture store. We split up for a bit, and after a while I went to find him. A salesman noticed I seemed to be looking around for him and said, "Oh, your son is upstairs." We're the same age. FML

#20155909
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24762) - you deserved it (2107)

On 11/09/2012 at 2:26am - misc - by slypher25aussie (man) - United States (California)

Today, I decided to delete my Facebook account. My older sister repeatedly called me in tears asking why I'm cutting her out of my life. It seems I can't get rid of social media without my family taking offence. FML

#20145432
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21680) - you deserved it (1993)

On 11/03/2012 at 6:02am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my extremely overweight roommate decided to not only be a nudist, but also to get in shape for his new lifestyle. He's been doing naked lunges in our room for the last twenty minutes. FML

#20145644
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25923) - you deserved it (1898)

On 11/03/2012 at 12:04pm - misc - by xXfloatingshitlogXx (woman) - Norway (Akershus)

Today, to help me get over my crippling social anxiety, my therapist encouraged me to sing in front of a crowd, since I actually have a fine singing voice. I ended up fainting onstage, mid-song. FML

#20146765
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21324) - you deserved it (1935)

On 11/04/2012 at 2:28am - misc - by Chuffy (woman) - United States (Colorado)



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