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Saturday 3 November 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I flew back home from out of state. When I got back to my house, my bed, furniture, and TV were gone. My girlfriend changed her number and I have no idea where she lives now. FML

#20153491
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27925) - you deserved it (2154)

On 11/07/2012 at 1:28pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was told I look like a Simpson. I don't have blond hair, or any of the features of them. So I asked which one. I was told Homer because we both could use Weight Watchers and an education. FML

#20155893
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20767) - you deserved it (4113)

On 11/09/2012 at 1:57am - misc - by Kyle - United States (Georgia)

Today, while giving a speech at work, I started sneezing. After what seemed to be the last sneeze, I went on talking. Apparently it wasn't, and I blew out my eardrum. FML

#20141826
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25710) - you deserved it (1742)

On 10/31/2012 at 5:03pm - work - by SoSoRachel - United States (Illinois)

Today, I decided to delete my Facebook account. My older sister repeatedly called me in tears asking why I'm cutting her out of my life. It seems I can't get rid of social media without my family taking offence. FML

#20145432
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23093) - you deserved it (2114)

On 11/03/2012 at 6:02am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, after weeks of wondering if my cat has a fetish for licking my bed covers, I finally witnessed him licking up an ant off of the covers. Turns out that my bed is infested with ants. FML

#20138030
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25139) - you deserved it (5111)

On 10/29/2012 at 12:23am - animals - by lifelike (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I worked up the courage to give a guy my number. I wrote it down on a piece of paper, tore it in half and gave it to him. Later, I noticed I'd given him the wrong, blank half. FML

#20142410
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22088) - you deserved it (11280)

On 11/01/2012 at 12:24am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Mexico)

Today, I woke up and looked over to see the "beautiful girl" I slept with last night. Turns out it was the obsessive girl from my class with a man-face I had avoided all semester. In conclusion, beer goggles are very real and very powerful. FML

#20149916
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13024) - you deserved it (44619)

On 11/06/2012 at 12:15am - intimacy - by coolguy (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, after the fourth time telling my roommate I'm highly allergic to her scented products, I came back to find all 6 of our wall outlets using Glade plug-ins. They were set to high. FML

Today, my girlfriend and I were going through some troubles in our relationship, and she said to me, "No offense, but I really hope no other relationship I have in the future will be like this one." Some offense taken. FML

#20141147
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25002) - you deserved it (2988)

On 10/31/2012 at 12:22am - love - by anon (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I'm so broke, I asked my parents if they'd pay for me to go to the eye doctor and consider it my Christmas present. FML

#20149436
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25379) - you deserved it (2268)

On 11/05/2012 at 8:01pm - money - by EB - United States

Today, I threw up after drinking a smoothie my mother made me. She then called me "ungrateful" and "immature" for not liking what she spent a long time making for me. I later found out that not only did she use expired yogurt, it was also a mango smoothie, which I'm allergic to. FML

#20153910
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26705) - you deserved it (1625)

On 11/07/2012 at 6:28pm - health - by anon - United States

Today, I finally got to attend the concert I have been anticipating for weeks. The band was great. The drunk guy sitting behind me yelling profanity and out of tune lyrics in my ear throughout the entire show, however, was not. FML

#20144110
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21410) - you deserved it (2081)

On 11/02/2012 at 6:37am - misc - by annoyed - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was playing Apples to Apples with my girlfriend and a few others. The card that was drawn was labeled "pathetic". Among other cards that were laid down in attempts to be similar to "pathetic" was my girlfriend's card. She won with a create-a-card labeled "my sex life". FML

#20157215
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22634) - you deserved it (4702)

On 11/10/2012 at 6:02am - love - by anonymous - United States



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