Saturday 3 November 2012 
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Today, I woke up and looked over to see the "beautiful girl" I slept with last night. Turns out it was the obsessive girl from my class with a man-face I had avoided all semester. In conclusion, beer goggles are very real and very powerful. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7306) - you deserved it (28074)
On 11/06/2012 at 12:15am - intimacy - by coolguy (man) - United States (Virginia)
Today, my friend showed me a video of me in a nightclub. I was holding two Skittles vodka shots and shouting, "Red and green, merry Kwanzaa!" The shots were yellow and purple. I can't remember that night at all. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5702) - you deserved it (19180)
Today, after the fourth time telling my roommate I'm highly allergic to her scented products, I came back to find all 6 of our wall outlets using Glade plug-ins. They were set to high. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15420) - you deserved it (1180)
On 11/07/2012 at 8:38pm - health - by rahavan - United States (Washington)
Today, my girlfriend's mother came over for a few hours. After she left I went to grab a drink, only to find that three bottles of expensive liquor were missing from our liquor cabinet. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14979) - you deserved it (1012)
On 11/05/2012 at 9:02am - misc - by liquorless (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, we got new seats in class today. The guy placed next to me, turned, looked me dead in the eye, and said, "The balls are the warmest place on the body" while his hands were in his pants. I'm stuck next to him for the rest of the semester. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15356) - you deserved it (932)
On 10/30/2012 at 8:29pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)
Today, I was told I look like a Simpson. I don't have blond hair, or any of the features of them. So I asked which one. I was told Homer because we both could use Weight Watchers and an education. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12664) - you deserved it (2593)
On 11/09/2012 at 1:57am - misc - by Kyle - United States (Georgia)
Today, I worked up the courage to give a guy my number. I wrote it down on a piece of paper, tore it in half and gave it to him. Later, I noticed I'd given him the wrong, blank half. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13565) - you deserved it (7084)
On 11/01/2012 at 12:24am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Mexico)
Today, I had surgery on my arm. My mom has recently had the same surgery and my dad is having his first rib removed and won't be able to move his arm. My family combined now has three functioning arms. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16658) - you deserved it (1147)
On 11/01/2012 at 1:08am - health - by Anonymous - United States (Arizona)
Today, I noticed a rather small man being harassed by a rather large man, so I tried to help out and break it up. The small guy punched me in the face and said, "Mind your business!" The large guy laughed and fist-bumped him. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13333) - you deserved it (3133)
On 10/29/2012 at 3:55am - misc - by Nice Guy (man) - United States (California)
Today, while giving a speech at work, I started sneezing. After what seemed to be the last sneeze, I went on talking. Apparently it wasn't, and I blew out my eardrum. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16507) - you deserved it (939)
On 10/31/2012 at 5:03pm - work - by SoSoRachel - United States (Illinois)
Today, I gave a big presentation at work, hoping to impress my boss and angle for a promotion. I was already nervous, but a co-worker at the back kept making goofy faces, causing me to repeatedly break into laughter. My boss accused me of being high, and suspended me on the spot. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14128) - you deserved it (2280)
On 11/02/2012 at 8:23pm - work - by YOUFUCKINGFUCKSOCK (man) - United Kingdom (Gloucestershire)
Today, I'm so broke, I asked my parents if they'd pay for me to go to the eye doctor and consider it my Christmas present. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17256) - you deserved it (1579)
On 11/05/2012 at 8:01pm - money - by EB - United States
Today, I was playing Apples to Apples with my girlfriend and a few others. The card that was drawn was labeled "pathetic". Among other cards that were laid down in attempts to be similar to "pathetic" was my girlfriend's card. She won with a create-a-card labeled "my sex life". FML
I agree, your life sucks (14509) - you deserved it (3687)
On 11/10/2012 at 6:02am - love - by anonymous - United States
Monday 17 June 2013
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