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Saturday 3 November 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, while at work, a customer gave me a $20 tip. I explained to him we aren't allowed to accept tips, but he insisted. When I called the manager to report it, he pocketed my tip. FML

#20157115
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13372) - you deserved it (27414)

On 11/10/2012 at 2:23am - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my dog and I were sitting on the couch. I went to the bathroom, came back, and saw him walk over the remote, which caused the TV to change to the Hustler channel, just a few moments before my girlfriend walked through the door. FML

#20157085
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20216) - you deserved it (3121)

On 11/10/2012 at 1:51am - animals - by Sam l. - United States

Today, I went on a blind date at a local restaurant. When my date walked in, she took one look at me, said "nope", and walked out. FML

#20148958
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28166) - you deserved it (2444)

On 11/05/2012 at 2:21pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom

Today, my family and I are sitting in our house while Hurricane Sandy is going on. My grandma is freaking out because she believes it's our recently deceased dog Sandy getting revenge for putting her to sleep and getting a new dog. FML

#20138973
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26127) - you deserved it (2333)

On 10/29/2012 at 5:45pm - animals - by With_Love929 - United States (New York)

Today, I woke up with a vague memory of buying something last night while drunk. According to my credit card summary I made a $270 purchase from a home shopping channel. I guess in 5-7 days I'll find out what it was. FML

#20147165
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9075) - you deserved it (25690)

On 11/04/2012 at 11:37am - money - by fnfantastic - United States (Indiana)

Today, my deranged wife somehow became convinced that vampires actually exist. She's now walking around with garlic powder caked into her clothing. I can't get the smell out of my nostrils. FML

#20147303
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19392) - you deserved it (1991)

On 11/04/2012 at 1:14pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Norway (Oslo)

Today, I was reading a book in public. Some bastard stranger came over and started spoiling the plot for me. FML

#20148752
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23676) - you deserved it (2433)

On 11/05/2012 at 10:58am - misc - by Spoilicious - Singapore

Today, while at a stop light, I was rear-ended by a car behind me. The guy got angry at me, because according to him, I should've known that his car has poor braking distance, and so I should've moved forward a few more feet to compensate. FML

#20157954
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25710) - you deserved it (1302)

On 11/10/2012 at 7:29pm - misc - by Me - United States

Today, I found out that my girlfriend has secretly been conditioning me to get turned on by the smell of bananas. Guess whose new co-worker peels a nice, fragrant banana five times a day. FML

#20139261
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29189) - you deserved it (2821)

On 10/29/2012 at 8:42pm - intimacy - by SadExperiment (man) - United States (California)

Today, my hair straightener broke. My husband suggested putting electrical tape on it because it was heat proof. I did and started straightening my hair. The supposed heat proof tape melted and got stuck in my hair. FML

#20145539
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8935) - you deserved it (30985)

On 11/03/2012 at 9:50am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my friend joked to my co-workers that my kitty-cat of a husband was going to beat me for spending $200 on shoes. Later on, my rather large dog was so excited to see me when I walked in the door, he split my lip. Somehow, I don't think they'll believe me when I get to the office tomorrow. FML

#20150093
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22029) - you deserved it (2883)

On 11/06/2012 at 4:32am - work - by iLuvsIt (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I was playing with my cat. I tried to put him on my stomach, but he refused to stay put. Ever since I lost weight, he won't lay with me or purr. I think my fat was the only thing he liked about me. FML

#20150645
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22764) - you deserved it (2544)

On 11/06/2012 at 3:27pm - animals - by creedonfied - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I sampled some of the food my fiancée's mom is making for our wedding. Everything tasted terrible, and I almost vomited. Turns out she never actually went to culinary school as she claimed, but had just watched Julie and Julia. It's too late to book another caterer for the wedding. FML

#20145916
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23607) - you deserved it (4989)

On 11/03/2012 at 3:42pm - health - by WeddingWoes (man) - United States (Missouri)



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