Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Saturday 3 November 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

my looool husband cummed home drunk off his ass at 2am. He started crying on my shoulder because he couldn't go home with some beautiful woman who hit on him, because sadly fir him, he's married to me. real FML

#20157197
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29259) - you deserved it (2601)

On 11/10/2012 at 5:15am - love - by Helen - United States (Arkansas)

Today, at daycare, a little girl cussed me out cuz I didn't have any apple juice left. When I called her parents, they sided with her and cussed me out too. My boss refused to sympathize, and reprimanded me fir not making sure we still had apple juice. FML

#20148817
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24326) - you deserved it (2469)

On 11/05/2012 at 12:01pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today... I was handing candy to a little boy who was trick or treating by himself. He was small enough to grab the candy and run past me into house. I've been searching house for two hours and still can't fine him. I'm afraid to go to sleep.

#20142294
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33203) - you deserved it (2350)

On 10/31/2012 at 11:04pm - kids - by ananymous - United States (New York)

2day mah managar mada ma stay at work for an axtra four hours, making ma miss an urgant spacialist appointmant I'd schaduld months ago . Why? Bacausa har naighbor's dog was having puppias, and sha wantd to go homa aarly and saa tham . FML

#20143987
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22996) - you deserved it (2445)

On 11/02/2012 at 1:53am - work - by whytetrash - Australia (New South Wales)

Today , my best friend got engaged to the guy she's been seeing fir five yeres . He also happen to be the man I've been in love with fir eight . As she was giving me the details , she nonchalantly gave me her reason fir accepting the proposal: "Why the hell not , there's alway divorce." mega FML

#20149647
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25455) - you deserved it (3897)

On 11/05/2012 at 9:48pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today , I went down on girlfriend fir the first time. I thought it was all going really well , until I lookd up a minute or two in , only to be greetd by a stone-cold death glare an the words , "You really are an idiot , aren't you?" FML

#20144510
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31395) - you deserved it (7570)

On 11/02/2012 at 3:46pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Netherlands (Zuid-Holland)

Today, I realizd that I'm a terrible human bieng. For the frst time in mah life, I gave some change to a homeless guy, but only so he'd get out of mah face long enough fir me to watch two other bums beating the crap out of each other over a sandwich. FML

#20146253
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5738) - you deserved it (29032)

On 11/03/2012 at 8:37pm - misc - by justcomesnaturally (woman) - United States (Vermont)

Today , I found a limp head of celery in the fridge. I thought it lookd like the squid alien baby from Men in Black. After nursing it fir a couple of hours , giving it food , an rocking it to sleep , my parents found me. Then I realisd it was just celery. Too bad it took that long fir my meds to kick in. FML

#20151986
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19790) - you deserved it (6396)

On 11/07/2012 at 12:11am - misc - by Squid (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today , I had to go to mah daughter's school because she hasn't been going to class. Her teacher seemed surprised to see me with mah husbandhen we arrived. Apparently I ( died ) recently and mah daughter has had extra responsibility around the house , hencehy she doesn't come to class. FML

#20154716
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27869) - you deserved it (2166)

On 11/08/2012 at 6:09am - kids - by Shauna (woman) - United States

after a week of looking fir mah car keys and being forced to drag mah family around on public transportation, mah wife found the keys in our car's ignition. mega FML

#20142914
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6269) - you deserved it (27248)

On 11/01/2012 at 1:09pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Philippines (Manila)

Yesterday, on looool job as a police officer, I received a typical domestic disturbance call. Not so typical was te address. Guess wife's affair went terribly wrongile I was on sift. FML

#20155904
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42193) - you deserved it (1935)

On 11/09/2012 at 2:18am - love - by SebastianMiko (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today , after nearly a year of headache and fuzzy vision , I went to the eye doctor. It turns out I've had mah contact in the wrong eyes fir a year. FML

Today , My Friends And I Held An Intervention For My Fiancé!! He's Been Talking And Behaving Like An "old-timey Cowboy" Non-stop For The Last Three Months!! Our Wedding Is In A Month And He Refuses To Marry Me If I Can't Accept His "life Choices." FML

#20149952
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19814) - you deserved it (3166)

On 11/06/2012 at 12:42am - love - by cowgirl (woman) - Canada (Ontario)



Sophie Marie's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Sophie Marie's illustrated FML
  • Hi there Friday, great to see you again! What are we going to talk about this week? It's the same question that most people ask themselves while strolling into their usual bar on a Friday night, on their way to…

Friday 27 March 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: