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Saturday 3 November 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I discovered a brown recluse spider in my house. Before I could smash it, it escaped under the door. Now I'm freaked out and wearing boots and gloves, clutching at my kittens and waiting for it to appear. My dad laughs everytime he walks past. FML

#20141607
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23022) - you deserved it (4353)

On 10/31/2012 at 1:09pm - animals - by NotSpiderman (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, it was my birthday. I finally got the PS3 I've been asking for, for a long time. When I opened the box, I didn't find a PS3, but a bunch of clothes that my mom put in my brother's PS3 box. FML

#20157168
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27218) - you deserved it (4019)

On 11/10/2012 at 4:02am - misc - by Shauna (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, while getting intimate with my girlfriend, she asked me to whisper her name. Apparently, her name is not Kate. FML

#20140315
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12100) - you deserved it (76107)

On 10/30/2012 at 3:46pm - intimacy - by you (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I went down on my girlfriend for the first time. I thought it was all going really well, until I looked up a minute or two in, only to be greeted by a stone-cold death glare and the words, "You really are an idiot, aren't you?" FML

#20144510
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34519) - you deserved it (8060)

On 11/02/2012 at 3:46pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Netherlands (Zuid-Holland)

Today, multiple people admired my elaborate face paint. This happens every Halloween, at least every Halloween since I got badly burnt in a car accident. FML

#20142623
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47701) - you deserved it (1948)

On 11/01/2012 at 7:17am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Kingston upon Hull, City of)

Today, after losing twenty pounds to please my husband, the only comment I received was, "At least now only your personality sucks." FML

#20143873
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32010) - you deserved it (4889)

On 11/02/2012 at 12:17am - love - by 123alleyesonme - United States (Texas)

Today, at daycare, a little girl cussed me out because I didn't have any apple juice left. When I called her parents, they sided with her and cussed me out too. My boss refused to sympathize, and reprimanded me for not making sure we still had apple juice. FML

#20148817
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26784) - you deserved it (2693)

On 11/05/2012 at 12:01pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I was told I will be having twins; this came as a shock since there are no twins in my family. When I asked my mom about it, she said that she wasn't surprised and not to worry about it because she had "absorbed her twin" and that the problem would "take care of itself." FML

#20154574
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24177) - you deserved it (1920)

On 11/08/2012 at 1:13am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, one of my dad's work friends came over. As he was leaving, he complimented my dad on having three "strapping young boys." I informed him that I'm a girl, and I have a hormone imbalance that causes me to have a lot of hair and a deep voice. I guess my dress didn't give him a clue. FML

#20140430
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30327) - you deserved it (2883)

On 10/30/2012 at 5:26pm - misc - by rarara - United Kingdom (Manchester)

Today, my teacher wore a bikini at the pool. She is 68. FML

#20153506
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25385) - you deserved it (4416)

On 11/07/2012 at 1:39pm - work - by Owen - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I had to present a program to my supervisors in University. Not being a native English speaker, I used my own invented abbreviations for parameters in the program. Apparently STD is not an appropriate abbreviation for "standard deviation." I can still hear them laughing. FML

#20156190
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23182) - you deserved it (7765)

On 11/09/2012 at 11:23am - work - by EnglishLearner (woman) - Switzerland (Zurich)

Today, I was handing candy to a little boy who was trick or treating by himself. He was small enough to grab the candy and run past me into my house. I've been searching my house for two hours and still can't find him. I'm afraid to go to sleep. FML

#20142294
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36818) - you deserved it (2658)

On 10/31/2012 at 11:04pm - kids - by ananymous - United States (New York)

Today, my daughter brought home her new boyfriend. He has a neck tattoo, and his life's dream is to be a professional "beer pong" player. FML

#20146654
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29155) - you deserved it (3344)

On 11/04/2012 at 1:30am - kids - by PleaseDontBeSerious - Canada



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