Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Saturday 3 November 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I was giving my son a driving lesson. He blatantly ran a red light, so I told him to pull over to let me drive us home. As I walked over to the driver-side door, he instead locked me out and drove off by himself. FML

#20156278
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27028) - you deserved it (6594)

On 11/09/2012 at 1:28pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Argentina (Buenos Aires)

Today, my daughter brought home her new boyfriend. He has a neck tattoo, and his life's dream is to be a professional "beer pong" player. FML

#20146654
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26471) - you deserved it (3083)

On 11/04/2012 at 1:30am - kids - by PleaseDontBeSerious - Canada

Today, I went to the hospital in labor expecting a baby boy. I ended the day with identical twins, a baffled doctor, and a husband convinced that our sons can clone themselves. FML

#20139353
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27117) - you deserved it (2507)

On 10/29/2012 at 9:30pm - kids - by CutestBoysEver (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I discovered a brown recluse spider in my house. Before I could smash it, it escaped under the door. Now I'm freaked out and wearing boots and gloves, clutching at my kittens and waiting for it to appear. My dad laughs everytime he walks past. FML

#20141607
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20386) - you deserved it (3984)

On 10/31/2012 at 1:09pm - animals - by NotSpiderman (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was told I will be having twins; this came as a shock since there are no twins in my family. When I asked my mom about it, she said that she wasn't surprised and not to worry about it because she had "absorbed her twin" and that the problem would "take care of itself." FML

#20154574
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21514) - you deserved it (1704)

On 11/08/2012 at 1:13am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I had to present a program to my supervisors in University. Not being a native English speaker, I used my own invented abbreviations for parameters in the program. Apparently STD is not an appropriate abbreviation for "standard deviation." I can still hear them laughing. FML

#20156190
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19768) - you deserved it (7110)

On 11/09/2012 at 11:23am - work - by EnglishLearner (woman) - Switzerland (Zurich)

Today, multiple people admired my elaborate face paint. This happens every Halloween, at least every Halloween since I got badly burnt in a car accident. FML

#20142623
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43158) - you deserved it (1690)

On 11/01/2012 at 7:17am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Kingston upon Hull, City of)

Today, my dad watched the news and decided to start preparing for Hurricane Sandy by buying $300 worth of long-life and canned food. We live in Australia. FML

#20138384
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28567) - you deserved it (1839)

On 10/29/2012 at 8:03am - misc - by StormSeason (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, after losing twenty pounds to please my husband, the only comment I received was, "At least now only your personality sucks." FML

#20143873
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29001) - you deserved it (4553)

On 11/02/2012 at 12:17am - love - by 123alleyesonme - United States (Texas)

Today, my teacher wore a bikini at the pool. She is 68. FML

#20153506
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21931) - you deserved it (3918)

On 11/07/2012 at 1:39pm - work - by Owen - Canada (Alberta)

Today, one of my dad's work friends came over. As he was leaving, he complimented my dad on having three "strapping young boys." I informed him that I'm a girl, and I have a hormone imbalance that causes me to have a lot of hair and a deep voice. I guess my dress didn't give him a clue. FML

#20140430
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26645) - you deserved it (2545)

On 10/30/2012 at 5:26pm - misc - by rarara - United Kingdom (Manchester)

Today, while studying liver pathology and highlighting important lines in my textbook, I realized that I could count the number of words I hadn't highlighted on one hand, over the last six pages. FML

#20143160
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15926) - you deserved it (7939)

On 11/01/2012 at 5:18pm - misc - by ThisisMedSchool - United States (Tennessee)

Today, my husband came home drunk off his ass at 2am. He started crying on my shoulder because he couldn't go home with some beautiful woman who hit on him, because sadly for him, he's married to me. FML

#20157197
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29223) - you deserved it (2601)

On 11/10/2012 at 5:15am - love - by Helen - United States (Arkansas)



Mathilde Morieux's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Mathilde Morieux's illustrated FML
  • Madonna must be the only person breathing a sigh of relief right now thanks to all the idiots arguing about the colour of a dress. Thanks to a badly-lit photograph, everyone seems to have forgotten that she super…

Friday 27 February 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: