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Saturday 3 November 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, it was my birthday. I finally got the PS3 I've been asking for, for a long time. When I opened the box, I didn't find a PS3, but a bunch of clothes that my mom put in my brother's PS3 box. FML

#20157168
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20552) - you deserved it (3383)

On 11/10/2012 at 4:02am - misc - by Shauna (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my dad offered to pay me $40 to wash his car. Needing money to buy a video game, I agreed, and went out in the freezing weather to do the job. I finished the task, only to be paid in Monopoly money. My dad still hasn't gotten over how "funny" his prank was. FML

#20158140
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18717) - you deserved it (2330)

On 11/10/2012 at 10:10pm - money - by Anonymous - Canada

Today, I jokingly asked my girlfriend what she got me for my half birthday, to which she replied "A baby." She was serious. FML

Today, I started dating a seemingly normal guy. Not even four hours into our relationship, he began telling me that he can see spirits, dead people, and that I have a large black dog following me everywhere I go. FML

#20155774
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17851) - you deserved it (2105)

On 11/08/2012 at 11:53pm - love - by holyshitbatman - United States (Ohio)

Today, I watched my girlfriend slowly floss her teeth, and then eat what showed up on the floss. FML

#20147554
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20245) - you deserved it (2430)

On 11/04/2012 at 4:16pm - misc - by i fking love docb - Virgin Islands, U.S.

Today, I stepped outside the house with my wife. She looked up at the sky and asked me in all seriousness if stars are man-made. FML

#20156290
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17627) - you deserved it (2800)

On 11/09/2012 at 1:39pm - misc - by baby, baby no (man) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I walked in on my son teabagging his sister over a video game. FML

#20156633
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21759) - you deserved it (2842)

On 11/09/2012 at 7:30pm - kids - by john r.t. (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I finally lost my virginity to my boyfriend. It hurt like hell, was over in less than a minute, and he tried to reuse the condom for a second round. FML

#20144932
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34709) - you deserved it (5160)

On 11/02/2012 at 9:23pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Nova Scotia)

Today, I had my first orgasm. I also came to the realization that whenever I orgasm I get an uncontrollable case of hiccups for at least half an hour afterwards. FML

#20145633
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26558) - you deserved it (3023)

On 11/03/2012 at 11:52am - intimacy - by hiccups - United States (New York)

Today, dressed in my sexiest nightie, I asked my boyfriend in the most sensual voice possible what he'd like me do to for him tonight. His eyed widened, he started clapping wildly and then shrieked, "SPAGHETTI CARBONARA!" FML

#20142866
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18721) - you deserved it (3122) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 11/01/2012 at 7:48am - love - by Anonymous - France (Picardie)

Today, I had sex with this guy I had been crushing on for five years. It took longer to put my clothes back on than he lasted. FML

#20138883
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29734) - you deserved it (5811)

On 10/29/2012 at 4:49pm - intimacy - by le_evan - United States (California)

Today, while getting intimate with my girlfriend, she asked me to whisper her name. Apparently, her name is not Kate. FML

#20140315
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9753) - you deserved it (67985)

On 10/30/2012 at 3:46pm - intimacy - by you (man) - United Kingdom

Today, whilst in an argument with my girlfriend, I told her she was the craziest bitch I'd ever met. She responded with "Challenge accepted." I'm now terrified. FML

#20139786
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9027) - you deserved it (37347)

On 10/30/2012 at 2:08am - love - by Andrew (man) - United States (Washington)



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