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Tuesday 30 October 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I was handing candy to a little boy who was trick or treating by himself. He was small enough to grab the candy and run past me into my house. I've been searching my house for two hours and still can't find him. I'm afraid to go to sleep. FML

#20142294
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33221) - you deserved it (2347)

On 10/31/2012 at 11:04pm - kids - by ananymous - United States (New York)

Today, my manager made me stay at work for an extra four hours, making me miss an urgent specialist appointment I'd scheduled months ago. Why? Because her neighbor's dog was having puppies, and she wanted to go home early and see them. FML

#20143987
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21488) - you deserved it (2299)

On 11/02/2012 at 1:53am - work - by whytetrash - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my best friend got engaged to the guy she's been seeing for five years. He also happens to be the man I've been in love with for eight. As she was giving me the details, she nonchalantly gave me her reason for accepting the proposal: "Why the hell not, there's always divorce." FML

#20149647
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25423) - you deserved it (3897)

On 11/05/2012 at 9:48pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, I went down on my girlfriend for the first time. I thought it was all going really well, until I looked up a minute or two in, only to be greeted by a stone-cold death glare and the words, "You really are an idiot, aren't you?" FML

#20144510
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31374) - you deserved it (7564)

On 11/02/2012 at 3:46pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Netherlands (Zuid-Holland)

Today, I realized that I'm a terrible human being. For the first time in my life, I gave some change to a homeless guy, but only so he'd get out of my face long enough for me to watch two other bums beating the crap out of each other over a sandwich. FML

#20146253
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5737) - you deserved it (29004)

On 11/03/2012 at 8:37pm - misc - by justcomesnaturally (woman) - United States (Vermont)

Today, whilst in an argument with my girlfriend, I told her she was the craziest bitch I'd ever met. She responded with "Challenge accepted." I'm now terrified. FML

#20139786
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10283) - you deserved it (40733)

On 10/30/2012 at 2:08am - love - by Andrew (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, after a week of looking for my car keys and being forced to drag my family around on public transportation, my wife found the keys in our car's ignition. FML

#20142914
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6260) - you deserved it (27223)

On 11/01/2012 at 1:09pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Philippines (Manila)

Today, after nearly a year of headaches and fuzzy vision, I went to the eye doctor. It turns out I've had my contacts in the wrong eyes for a year. FML

Today, I went on a blind date at a local restaurant. When my date walked in, she took one look at me, said "nope", and walked out. FML

#20148958
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28146) - you deserved it (2443)

On 11/05/2012 at 2:21pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom

Today, my family and I are sitting in our house while Hurricane Sandy is going on. My grandma is freaking out because she believes it's our recently deceased dog Sandy getting revenge for putting her to sleep and getting a new dog. FML

#20138973
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26106) - you deserved it (2331)

On 10/29/2012 at 5:45pm - animals - by With_Love929 - United States (New York)

Today, I woke up with a vague memory of buying something last night while drunk. According to my credit card summary I made a $270 purchase from a home shopping channel. I guess in 5-7 days I'll find out what it was. FML

#20147165
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9065) - you deserved it (25674)

On 11/04/2012 at 11:37am - money - by fnfantastic - United States (Indiana)

Today, my friends and I held an intervention for my fiancé. He's been talking and behaving like an "old-timey cowboy" non-stop for the last three months. Our wedding is in a month and he refuses to marry me if I can't accept his "life choices." FML

#20149952
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19797) - you deserved it (3165)

On 11/06/2012 at 12:42am - love - by cowgirl (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my deranged wife somehow became convinced that vampires actually exist. She's now walking around with garlic powder caked into her clothing. I can't get the smell out of my nostrils. FML

#20147303
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19364) - you deserved it (1988)

On 11/04/2012 at 1:14pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Norway (Oslo)



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