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Saturday 27 October 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I was playing with my 2-year-old Siberian Husky, when she figured that since she couldn't get to my hand, she'd try to bite me in the genitals. She was successful. FML

#20129779
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22255) - you deserved it (3373)

On 10/23/2012 at 12:26pm - animals - by buccaneer - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I woke up with pink eye. My mom tried to help by putting drops in. It started burning like hell; she didn't understand why. It turns out she was putting ear drops in my eye. FML

#20132231
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28377) - you deserved it (1703)

On 10/25/2012 at 12:37am - health - by allison_fishing - United States

Today, we got new seats in class today. The guy placed next to me, turned, looked me dead in the eye, and said, "The balls are the warmest place on the body" while his hands were in his pants. I'm stuck next to him for the rest of the semester. FML

#20140711
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23954) - you deserved it (1785)

On 10/30/2012 at 8:29pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I had surgery on my arm. My mom has recently had the same surgery and my dad is having his first rib removed and won't be able to move his arm. My family combined now has three functioning arms. FML

#20142449
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24999) - you deserved it (1749)

On 11/01/2012 at 1:08am - health - by Anonymous - United States (Arizona)

Today, while at a psychiatric hospital working as a student nurse, I discovered one of the patients had developed an unhealthy obsession for me. He was admitted for stalking and abusing a girl who looked just like me. It's only my first week. FML

#20127982
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26621) - you deserved it (1769)

On 10/22/2012 at 6:54am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, after therapy for obsessing over every woman who talks to me, all I could think about was how I could seduce my therapist. I think I still need a lot of help. FML

#20133155
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23812) - you deserved it (5718)

On 10/25/2012 at 7:09pm - love - by mental - United States

Today, my grandma took it upon herself to give me the sex talk. After explaining the mechanics in excessive detail, she said I shouldn't be afraid to sleep around. Apparently, I need to be comfortable with the man who'll be "conning me into blowing him for the next 50 years." FML

#20134273
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29222) - you deserved it (2838)

On 10/26/2012 at 1:58pm - intimacy - by fiftyshardsofbroccoli (woman) - United States

Today, while giving a speech at work, I started sneezing. After what seemed to be the last sneeze, I went on talking. Apparently it wasn't, and I blew out my eardrum. FML

#20141826
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25706) - you deserved it (1741)

On 10/31/2012 at 5:03pm - work - by SoSoRachel - United States (Illinois)

Today, I decided to delete my Facebook account. My older sister repeatedly called me in tears asking why I'm cutting her out of my life. It seems I can't get rid of social media without my family taking offence. FML

#20145432
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23090) - you deserved it (2114)

On 11/03/2012 at 6:02am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my boyfriend and I went on a romantic date to a botanical garden in the hills. A giant bushfire erupted in the hills on our way, meaning we're now stuck out here because the roads are closed. So romantic. FML

#20132703
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19178) - you deserved it (2328)

On 10/25/2012 at 12:27pm - love - by not even a sexy bushfire - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, as I waited to fly home, a very attractive woman smiled and gestured towards the seat next to me. However, a hyperactive child and his mother barged past into said empty seats. The woman really hit it off with the guy behind, while I was stuck listening to a kid scream at Angry Birds. FML

#20135226
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22715) - you deserved it (1915)

On 10/27/2012 at 7:53am - misc - by Ohwhy (man) - United Kingdom (Liverpool)

Today, after weeks of wondering if my cat has a fetish for licking my bed covers, I finally witnessed him licking up an ant off of the covers. Turns out that my bed is infested with ants. FML

#20138030
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25135) - you deserved it (5110)

On 10/29/2012 at 12:23am - animals - by lifelike (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I worked up the courage to give a guy my number. I wrote it down on a piece of paper, tore it in half and gave it to him. Later, I noticed I'd given him the wrong, blank half. FML

#20142410
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22087) - you deserved it (11279)

On 11/01/2012 at 12:24am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Mexico)



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