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Wednesday 30 May 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I finally summed up the courage to break up with my abusively controlling girlfriend. I don't know what I was thinking, but instead of leaving as a free man, I left as an engaged one. FML

#19705817
361 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14667) - you deserved it (37237)

On 05/30/2012 at 6:35pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Italy (Lombardia)

Today, my husband went nuts. He's quit his job and set out building an amateur bomb shelter in our backyard. According to him, there's "substantial evidence" that cannibalism is on the rise across the country, and that "it's gonna be like Resident Evil out there, babe." FML

#19738484
340 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22221) - you deserved it (2296)

On 06/05/2012 at 1:21pm - love - by why... (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I moved into a new house. The landlord insists it's OK for her to come up whenever she wants because she owns the house. We aren't allowed to lock the doors and she has two 8-year-olds. They come into the bathroom every time they hear the shower running. We have a clear shower curtain. FML

#19746532
312 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21604) - you deserved it (2674)

On 06/06/2012 at 9:25pm - misc - by HELP - United States

Today, I had so much to do, I didn't know where to start. So I didn't. FML

#19714828
243 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9202) - you deserved it (29289)

On 06/01/2012 at 10:29am - misc - by Anonymous - Austria (Wien)

Today, I was operating on a young girl, when she began to awake during the surgery. We quickly put her back under, of course, but now I'm terrified that she'll remember my profuse cursing and get me in the shit with my curmudgeonly killjoy of a boss. FML

#19727538
287 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15367) - you deserved it (7355)

On 06/03/2012 at 4:27pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I was diagnosed with migraines. Any loud sounds or bright lights make it worse. I'm the drummer for a heavy metal band, so I now have to choose between really bad migraines or a career. FML

#19727827
277 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19628) - you deserved it (2935)

On 06/03/2012 at 5:23pm - health - by Former Drummer - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, my boss became obsessed with a movie about a pimp. He now refers to all my female coworkers as his "bitches" and refuses to treat us like human beings. Whenever we make a mistake, he rolls his eyes and laughs, "So typical of a prostie." FML

#19736092
277 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26240) - you deserved it (2075)

On 06/04/2012 at 11:47pm - work - by kufan1324 - United States

Today, I found out that my new girlfriend breastfeeds her dolls. FML

#19730259
275 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24762) - you deserved it (2158)

On 06/04/2012 at 12:34am - misc - by whattheheck - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, in a rush to get my clothes back on at my girlfriend's house at the sound of her parents opening the front door, I forgot to take the condom off. Her dad watched it fall out of my pant leg and onto the kitchen floor. FML

#19710621
236 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14698) - you deserved it (26603)

On 05/31/2012 at 4:53pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I couldn't find my hairbrush anywhere; I ended up having to brush my hair with a fork. FML

#19712062
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14216) - you deserved it (4633)

On 05/31/2012 at 9:14pm - misc - by jemila (woman) - United States

Today, my parents grounded me for finding their stash of weed. The irony is killing me right now. FML

#19719129
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28906) - you deserved it (1847)

On 06/02/2012 at 1:43am - misc - by ironyisabitch - United States (California)

Today, I almost got kidnapped. Again. FML

#19707961
207 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25509) - you deserved it (3678)

On 05/31/2012 at 1:28am - misc - by gonavybeatarmy - United States (California)

Today, I got a bikini wax. They said it wouldn't hurt too badly, and that it would just sting. My friend heard me screaming from all the way down the hall in the waiting room. FML

#19739055
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8353) - you deserved it (10658)

On 06/05/2012 at 3:42pm - misc - by higgles15 (woman) - United States (Indiana)



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