Today, my boyfriend got so happy when he thought he'd finally given me an orgasm. I was covering an urge to sneeze. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19190) - you deserved it (3029)
On 05/14/2012 at 1:27am - intimacy - by sneezeattack (woman) - United States (Colorado)
Today, I brought my girlfriend home while my parents were at work, and things got a little heated. We lost track of time, because the next thing we knew, my dad burst into the living room. He doubled over laughing and asked how much I paid her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19917) - you deserved it (3805)
On 05/08/2012 at 4:46pm - intimacy - by mal (man) - United Kingdom (Essex)
Today, it was my birthday. I was heading back to my apartment and I heard noises inside the door. Assuming it was the surprise party I'd hinted at, I flicked on the lights as two heavy guys pushed past me. I was robbed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23237) - you deserved it (1216)
On 05/10/2012 at 8:28pm - money - by Anonymous - United States
Today, it was my wedding day. The best part was when we were taking photos and I threw up on my dress. At least the pictures were outside. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13583) - you deserved it (1732)
On 05/13/2012 at 2:28am - health - by whatevershit - United States (Alabama)
Today, my boyfriend asked me to marry him, saying that the only thing he would change about me is my last name. I later told him that I wanted to keep my last name after the marriage. I'm now single again. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16656) - you deserved it (32519)
On 05/14/2012 at 9:09pm - love - by singleagain (woman) - United States
Today, I heard the ice cream truck. Being the idiot that I am, I ran down the steps and almost immediately fell down them. I needed four stitches. I didn't even get my ice cream. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13569) - you deserved it (6075)
On 05/08/2012 at 9:59pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)
Today, I noticed the only time my husband stops snoring like a drunken horse is so that he can fart. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13665) - you deserved it (1381)
On 05/14/2012 at 1:26am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I was at a bus stop making small talk with a really nice girl, when all of a sudden some kids let off firecrackers behind me. I shrieked like a little girl and practically jumped into her lap. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12837) - you deserved it (2923)
On 05/15/2012 at 12:07am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Arizona)
Today, I was practicing for a choir concert that I have next week. My mom walked into my room and listened to me for a little while. After I finished the last song, she smiled, patted me on the head and said, "It's okay honey, I can't sing either." FML
I agree, your life sucks (15767) - you deserved it (2107)
On 05/08/2012 at 1:05am - misc - by Ellie (woman) - United States
Today, I was getting coffee with my aunt, and she asked me to pay. She then turned to the Barista and said, "He's never had a girlfriend before, and I wanted to show him that they take your money." The Barista laughed so hard she had to excuse herself. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15366) - you deserved it (1242)
On 05/10/2012 at 6:20pm - love - by brannonjames - United States
Today, I was broken up with via a cereal analogy. Apparently, I'm a Cheerio and all he wants is a Fruit Loop. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15531) - you deserved it (1312)
On 05/08/2012 at 7:55am - love - by Kyley - United States
Today, I was on an airplane, waiting to go to the bathroom. After a few minutes, the man behind me asked what I was waiting for, and checked the bathroom. It was empty, and there was a big line behind me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6127) - you deserved it (16083)
On 05/10/2012 at 9:09am - misc - by Anonymous - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)
Today, I started a new job. I noticed all the beautiful women. Then I tripped on a cord running across the floor. They noticed me too. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11794) - you deserved it (3540)
On 05/11/2012 at 1:03am - work - by Brown345 (man) - United States
Monday 17 June 2013
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