Today, I woke up next to my girlfriend. I was woken up by my mother breaking into my house to tell me I need to get ready for work. Then she got mad that I had a girl over. I'm 20. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32595) - you deserved it (3417)
On 03/26/2013 at 4:20pm - misc - by holycommander - United States
Today, I found out that what my husband meant by "we should try swinging" is "I really want to have sex with this one friend of yours, and if you so much as make eye contact with any guy I'm going to totally flip out and threaten to kill him and you." FML
I agree, your life sucks (37634) - you deserved it (3890)
On 03/26/2013 at 8:07am - intimacy - by SwinginSolo (woman) - United States
Today, my wife finally came home from deployment. Apparently, in the military she really built up some muscle. When she saw me at the airport, she picked me up like a baby and spun me around in her arms a few times. I'm a little scared of her now. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32156) - you deserved it (6770)
On 03/04/2013 at 2:36am - love - by married to wonder woman (man) - United States (California)
Today, my boyfriend found out about my severe phobia of moths. It's so bad that I sometimes pass out. He caught a moth in a jar, and put it on my bedside table. I woke up, saw it, and had a panic attack. He recorded it all and wants to upload it to YouTube. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29959) - you deserved it (3478)
On 03/15/2013 at 2:05pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, I walked into work, a day after losing my shit with our systems admin, due to her taking ages to enable my new email account. I was soon bitched out, warned, and suspended over several lewd emails having been sent overnight from my account to various female co-workers. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12758) - you deserved it (21618)
Today, after my boyfriend promised he wasn't cheating on me, I ran into him at our favorite coffee shop with the girl I suspected him of cheating with. When I confronted them, he acted like he didn't know me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41603) - you deserved it (2706)
On 03/26/2013 at 3:04pm - love - by Megan - United States
Today, I was walking to my professor's office. I've had an upset stomach all week, and I still felt a little gassy, so I politely decided to pass gass before entering the room. More than just gas came out. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29683) - you deserved it (4830)
On 03/04/2013 at 3:10pm - health - by claytwin - United States
Today, I woke up to my cat giving birth, on my bed. I adopted her from a friend, who told me she was spayed. Now I have a giant mess and a cat who won't let me move either her or her babies. Guess I'm sleeping on the couch for a while. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27317) - you deserved it (3412)
On 03/21/2013 at 2:42pm - animals - by DommeAshlee - South Africa (KwaZulu-Natal)
Today, our dog jumped on the bed while my fiancé and I were having sex, and let out the most horrific fart. My fiancé, like a gentleman, held my nose closed while he continued banging me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36247) - you deserved it (7349)
On 03/10/2013 at 9:40am - intimacy - by cremyfrozentreat - United States (Florida)
Today, I found out my girlfriend can do Heath Ledger's "Joker" voice perfectly. I'm not sure if I should be scared or impressed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24105) - you deserved it (4149)
On 03/03/2013 at 11:05am - love - by nerdgirlmickey (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I was fired from my job for breaking my company's tattoo policy. I have a small scar on my wrist that roughly resembles a heart. My boss insists that it's one of those white ink tattoos. No one will believe me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32463) - you deserved it (1916)
On 03/07/2013 at 3:17am - work - by crap - United States
Today, my dad came out of jail. He showed me his tattoo of a bible on his chest with all his 13 kids' names on it. I'm the only one whose name is spelled wrong. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29849) - you deserved it (1713)
On 03/22/2013 at 1:41am - misc - by XoxoChula - United States
Today, my husband called me, saying he was in the hospital with a friend who'd just broken his arm. Too bad I then heard a female voice in the background mutter, "She'll never buy that". FML
I agree, your life sucks (48609) - you deserved it (2558)
On 03/27/2013 at 3:55pm - love - by soontobesingle (woman) - United Kingdom (Dorset)
Monday 20 May 2013
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