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February 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, after explaining to my four-year-old why our new puppy was peeing on things to mark his territory, my son decided to follow suit and pee all over our house. FML

#20509972
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25767) - you deserved it (6130)

On 02/16/2013 at 9:12pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, during a silent breathing meditation at the Buddhist center, I accidentally let one rip which echoed through the meditation chamber. If that wasn't bad enough, the follow-up odor was enough to fell a charging rhinoceros. FML

#20517185
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24555) - you deserved it (7250)

On 02/22/2013 at 2:57am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I went sledding with my friends. I said I was tired and didn't want to go, but they press-ganged me into it. I ended up sledding right into a tree, fracturing my leg, and scraping up my entire face. FML

#20520149
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24995) - you deserved it (4773)

On 02/24/2013 at 12:36pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, the office coffee machine was relocated next to my desk. My co-worker insists on making several cups of the stuff per day, but instead of drinking it, he stands next to me, audibly swishes it through his teeth, gargles, and drools it back into the cup. I retch every single time. FML

#20499511
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26524) - you deserved it (1865)

On 02/09/2013 at 12:21pm - misc - by UuuuUUUUhhgghghghGHh (woman) - Kenya

Today, two days before I'm due to fly out to Russia on my first vacation, I caught my extremely over-protective mother trying to force the family dog to eat my passport. FML

#20518765
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31042) - you deserved it (1953)

On 02/23/2013 at 12:25pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Latvia (Aluksnes)

Today, most of my neighbours came to my house in an angry mob to complain about my dog barking. I don't have a dog. FML

#20488553
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29532) - you deserved it (1988)

On 02/01/2013 at 1:09am - animals - by Angry Mob - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I had my girlfriend over for dinner with my family. My father had dressed up as a girl for a recent gig of his at a local pub. This got somehow brought up at the table. The rest of the dinner conversation consisted of him and my girlfriend discussing bras and lingerie. FML

#20503190
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27734) - you deserved it (3199)

On 02/12/2013 at 12:55am - love - by BadLuckCarson - United States (Iowa)

Today, while at the store with my mom, we ran into the girl I recently confessed to being interested in. My mom decided to shout, "IS THAT HER?! IS THAT THE GIRL YOU LIKE?!" Embarrassed, I desperately told her to be quiet. She grounded me for being "rude" to her. FML

#20508609
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34722) - you deserved it (3307)

On 02/15/2013 at 7:39pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Italy (Lombardia)

Today, I've been single for so long my grandmother had to ask if I actually like women or not. FML

#20513781
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26101) - you deserved it (3338)

On 02/19/2013 at 6:07pm - love - by Forever alone Guy - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I realized that the only positive accomplishment my boyfriend has made in the last 3 years is that he started wearing deodorant. FML

#20525032
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24211) - you deserved it (7091)

On 02/27/2013 at 10:28pm - love - by butterflyzag20 - United States

Today, I checked out a "confessions" page for my university. The first confession was from a guy who whacked off in a campus restroom then used a computer in a lab without washing his hands. I work in that lab. FML

#20501884
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35012) - you deserved it (2946)

On 02/11/2013 at 2:46am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, a cute girl asked if my dog was available for a date on Valentine's Day. Thinking I was in luck, I asked if I should come along. She said no. My dog has better game than I do. FML

#20503854
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25998) - you deserved it (6169)

On 02/12/2013 at 4:50pm - animals - by Doggotmytongue - United States (Illinois)

Today, as I was leaving for my chemistry exam, I stepped on one of the countless sheets of chemistry notes that littered the floor following last night's studying. I managed to slip and knock myself out in my own living room. FML

#20489863
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23651) - you deserved it (5896)

On 02/02/2013 at 2:50am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Arizona)



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