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February 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I felt frisky, so I did my hair and put on make-up and some lingerie. I walked into the living room, where my husband was playing a video game. He glanced up, said, "Oh, for fuck's sake." and made me wait nearly 15 minutes for him to reach a save-game point. FML

#20506870
273 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36313) - you deserved it (8089)

On 02/14/2013 at 6:00pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Staffordshire)

Today, a girl came up to me on the street and said, "You have like no swag, bro." Feeling clever, I said, "At least I have a high school education." She then took out her work ID, showing me that she was a surgeon, flipped me off, then walked away saying, "This is totally going on Facebook." FML

#20502122
242 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29621) - you deserved it (27424)

On 02/11/2013 at 10:26am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my son threw the biggest fit in history about going to the dentist. He broke a whole stack of plates, overflowed the bathtub, let the dog loose, and kicked his father when he tried to calm him down. My son is 17. FML

#20495428
227 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30602) - you deserved it (32445)

On 02/06/2013 at 6:12am - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I went on a date with a very cute girl. It went well, until I accidentally called the blueberries in her dessert Oran Berries. I sheepishly explained that they're a berry from the Pokémon universe, at which point she excused herself, never to return. FML

#20490478
242 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22260) - you deserved it (34520)

On 02/02/2013 at 4:20pm - love - by Brock (man) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, my fiancé told me that it would be okay with him if I got plastic surgery to make my boobs larger. It would also be okay with him if I didn't get the surgery, but he would call off our engagement and never talk to me again. FML

#20499439
235 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51824) - you deserved it (6006)

On 02/09/2013 at 11:11am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I met my mother's deeply religious fiancé for the first time. His response upon seeing me was to look me square in the eye and say, "You'll need to take out that nose stud or I'm afraid you'll not be welcome in our home." FML

#20513141
227 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36236) - you deserved it (4076)

On 02/19/2013 at 2:55am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, while on my way to the movies, I stopped at a gas station to pick up candy so I could avoid the high prices at the movies. The guy who tore my ticket asked for my purse, confiscated my candy, and then kicked me out of the movie theater. That guy was my boyfriend. FML

#20510592
235 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45546) - you deserved it (8050)

On 02/17/2013 at 10:50am - love - by Cheyennereed - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I saw my neighbor's delinquent kid shooting squirrels with a BB gun. Shocked and furious at his cruel behavior, I told him to stop, with the threat of telling his parents. He responded by shooting me in the nuts and running away in a fit of laughter. FML

#20507650
216 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34218) - you deserved it (10109)

On 02/15/2013 at 12:42am - animals - by bettercallpeta - United States

Today, my boyfriend of 2 years decided to tell an unimaginably rude joke to my grandma while at my house. She hit him over the head with a vase, and he's threatening to press charges. I still don't know whose side to take. FML

#20518703
229 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32190) - you deserved it (4035)

On 02/23/2013 at 11:13am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my friend asked me to fix his laptop for him because it is loaded with viruses. When I turned it on and started searching for the problem, I couldn't find it. Luckily I was able to find a video of him banging my girlfriend. We've been together for eight years. FML

#20493182
219 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68714) - you deserved it (3921)

On 02/04/2013 at 3:17pm - intimacy - by hamandegger (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, after trying to convince my girlfriend to have sex for almost 16 months, she finally said yes. I couldn't get it up the second she said it. FML

#20494070
206 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23722) - you deserved it (35324)

On 02/05/2013 at 1:40am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, after much coaxing, I finally got my roommate to loosen up and have a couple of beers with me and my friends. It was only later in the evening that he admitted the real reason he hadn't wanted to drink: he's an alcoholic and had been sober for six months, until now. FML

#20499970
211 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15207) - you deserved it (54091)

On 02/09/2013 at 6:26pm - misc - by mhmm... cumsquats (man) - Belgium (Brabant)

Today, my boyfriend kicked me out and threatened to get a restraining order after I called him an asshole. I'm 16 weeks pregnant and over 1,000 miles away from my parents' house. FML

#20519336
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37692) - you deserved it (8372)

On 02/23/2013 at 8:47pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Louisiana)



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