Today, I met my new class. There are two Kevin Smiths. Neither will agree to a nickname, they have the same hair color, and their middle names both start with J. They have told me to call them Kevin 1 and Kevin 2. They both want to be Kevin 1. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30028) - you deserved it (1846)
On 02/18/2013 at 7:26pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I was holding the door open for a friend. She told me to wait a second because she had to finish a text. Nearly a minute passed before I asked why she wouldn't come inside to finish typing. We were at a Chinese restaurant. She thought the "No MSG" sign meant you couldn't text inside. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26541) - you deserved it (2409)
On 02/24/2013 at 2:53am - misc - by cls_x (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, I asked my mother if I could have my boyfriend sleep over for Valentine's day weekend. Her response? "If you're on your period he can. Unless he's into that. Then no." FML
I agree, your life sucks (13268) - you deserved it (26069)
On 02/06/2013 at 7:26pm - intimacy - by dab1230 (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, the attractive guy I barely speak to in my statistics class gave me a rose for Valentine's Day because he remembered they were my favorite. My husband got me a roll of quarters and told me to go buy myself "something pretty." FML
I agree, your life sucks (33711) - you deserved it (3406)
On 02/15/2013 at 1:07am - love - by RosesAreRed (woman) - United States (Missouri)
Today, my boyfriend called me a freak for wanting to have sex for a second night in a row. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36535) - you deserved it (3192)
On 02/06/2013 at 1:01am - intimacy - by frustrated! (woman) - United States
Today, my boyfriend kicked me out and threatened to get a restraining order after I called him an asshole. I'm 16 weeks pregnant and over 1,000 miles away from my parents' house. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30412) - you deserved it (6362)
On 02/23/2013 at 8:47pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Louisiana)
Today, I found out I'm pregnant. It's okay, I know who the father is: my ex-boyfriend, who moved to Japan last week. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27837) - you deserved it (8247)
On 02/11/2013 at 1:17pm - kids - by juno_op (woman) - United Kingdom (Birmingham)
Today, I came home in a really good mood, and I greeted my husband with a grin and a "Hi, babe!" He just muttered, "Why can't you just DIE?" and continued playing his video game. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31966) - you deserved it (3714)
On 02/02/2013 at 5:34pm - love - by rani (woman) - Norway (Oslo)
Today, my boyfriend and I were visiting his parents. I'm nervous around them so he encouraged me to drink so I'd loosen up. I got so drunk I tore up all the things in his old room I thought were from ex-girlfriends and accidentally flashed his dad my crotch. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6726) - you deserved it (37129)
On 02/13/2013 at 12:07am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kansas)
Today, I introduced my boyfriend to my overprotective father. My boyfriend started out with, "Sir, it is an honor to be your daughter's sexual partner." FML
I agree, your life sucks (44889) - you deserved it (6980)
On 02/08/2013 at 2:13am - intimacy - by mydadsgonnakillme (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I decided to surprise my boyfriend by quietly undressing and sneaking into the bathroom to join him in the shower. He was bent over taking a dump, pushing his turd down the plughole. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32622) - you deserved it (5379)
On 02/27/2013 at 8:49am - misc - by anony (woman) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, trying to be nice, I sat with the lonely kid at lunch. While eating, he started laughing and showed me his hit list. I was at the top. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27968) - you deserved it (4692)
On 02/27/2013 at 11:43am - misc - by dangerZone - United States (Georgia)
Today, after supporting my girlfriend for over a year in her endeavour to lose weight, exercise more, and eat better, my now-slender girlfriend dumped me. Because now she can do "so much better". FML
I agree, your life sucks (38186) - you deserved it (2696)
On 02/23/2013 at 3:07am - love - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Victoria)
Monday 20 May 2013
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