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February 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, at my mother's funeral, as everyone was around her casket for the viewing, my 5-year-old son in cluelessness of what was going on shouted, "Grandma is more fun when she isn't sleeping." Everyone cried. FML

#20521929
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40303) - you deserved it (3336)

On 02/25/2013 at 6:00pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (New Jersey)

Today, while I was shaving my nether regions, my trimmer slipped and ate a chunk out of my balls, right beside a vein. I've been bleeding on and off for an hour, and the New Skin I tried isn't able to dry quickly enough. FML

#20520338
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33323) - you deserved it (7543)

On 02/24/2013 at 2:58pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I told my parents that what I'd really like for my 21st birthday is the 1865 edition of the Memoirs of Saint-Simon in 22 volumes that I found online for $200, and have been wanting for months. They laughed and said, "Yeah, right. We'll get you an iPhone and perhaps you'll become normal." FML

#20488681
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28160) - you deserved it (8068)

On 02/01/2013 at 4:19am - misc - by HistoryFreak (woman) - France

Today, I lit my beard on fire while trying to light a cigarette driving to work. I got fired from work when I got there because of my appearance. FML

#20507167
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11829) - you deserved it (38360)

On 02/14/2013 at 8:55pm - money - by Anonymous - United States (Oregon)

Today, with 24 inches of snow on the ground, it is raining like hell. The weight of the snow, now full of rain water, collapsed the roof over my living room. I was eating cereal in my underwear, in the living room, directly under the failure. I'm cold. FML

#20502433
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40986) - you deserved it (3356)

On 02/11/2013 at 3:58pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I found out my mother has enough toys to open a sex shop. FML

#20499258
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38511) - you deserved it (5015)

On 02/09/2013 at 7:00am - intimacy - by Lois - United Kingdom (Manchester)

Today, after nearly 5 months of trying for a baby, I found out my wife has continued to take the pill as it gave her a better idea of her cycle and thus when she'd be "most fertile". FML

#20492131
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40440) - you deserved it (4421)

On 02/03/2013 at 9:17pm - intimacy - by jdrew32 - United Kingdom (Liverpool)

Today, I had to drive to my workplace in blizzard conditions. Now that my 12 hour shift is over, I can't get out of the building, as the snow has blown into large drifts in front of the doors. I have to stay overnight until my next 12 hour shift. FML

Today, I had to spend a few hours in a hospital with a toddler and a preschooler projecting vomit all over, because my husband thinks "expiration dates are for pussies." FML

#20511774
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30196) - you deserved it (2912)

On 02/18/2013 at 2:44am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, whilst on a phone interview with a college I really want to go to, my mother picks up the other line and shouts into the phone "She's not going to college, she's lazy and she'll only disappoint you." The interviewer hung up before I could say anything. FML

#20508072
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36872) - you deserved it (2419)

On 02/15/2013 at 10:50am - misc - by parentalissues (woman) - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I were having a casual conversation, when the topic suddenly became my penis. Before I knew what was going on, she said, "It's not the size that matters though. It's how you use it. So I guess you're ok." FML

#20491476
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33979) - you deserved it (4207)

On 02/03/2013 at 11:27am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Serbia

Today, for the second time this week, I was asked to stop putting on such an obviously fake "British" accent. I am British and have lived here all my life. FML

#20513499
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30711) - you deserved it (2498)

On 02/19/2013 at 1:53pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Cheshire)

Today, my now ex-boyfriend called me out after I spelt "realised" with an S instead of a Z. It wouldn't have been so bad, if we weren't both British, if he hadn't called me an "illiterate idiot", and if he hadn't muttered "family of morons" when my mum backed me up. FML

#20519170
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26864) - you deserved it (4235)

On 02/23/2013 at 6:18pm - love - by singleandthankful (woman) - United Kingdom (Buckinghamshire)



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